Some Help if possible, my story

[anthaaa]

Ok Ill try keep it short.. it would mean everything if someone can help

So about a year ago, 2013, I met this girl (Chrysa for code) at a dinner dance function for charity. Her best friend (Elena for code) did not attend. Myself and Chrysa got along well and were chatting for a while and exchanged facebook's etc.

Over the next 11 months, I spoke to Chrysa every so often on Facebook but never met up again as we were just friends

A couple months ago, her best friend Elena and myself became facebook friends. She sent me the first message asking who I am but then her friend Chrysa explained. We then had an instant connection and was chatting online for a couple hours

Anyway, Elena would be very very late with her facebook responses (3-4 days at times) but she was always engaging in her responses asking questions etc

After about a week, she asked me if I wanted to catch up for a coffee to meet in person. I said I cant because I was leaving for a holiday in two days. Now here is the dilemma. My facebook photos are 1 year old (not that old) but I have put on 14kgs since then hence why I said NO to her invitation. I ffelt so bad because I was really keen on seeing her

We kept talking online every 2-3 days or so...About 3 weeks later I called her to talk. I told her I was back in Melbourne but I was leaving for Thailand the next day for a holiday and that ive taken a couple months off work. On the phone, she asked me if I wanted to have a quick coffee before I left for Thailand the next day. I said I have plans and that Im so sorry and didnt want her thinking Im avoiding her. Our fb convos are always long and really engaging

Anyway, about a week ago I texted her phone and she replied. I then sent a couple more texts without a reply.

A few hours later I inboxed her on Facebook and she said sorry she had 'crashed'. We were chatting on Facebook and she was flirting, and she then told me she went on a date with a guy. She then asked me if I was cut. I said ofcourse not. ( ...Im losing the weight before I see her because I really really am interested in her and im not on holiday)....

I told her that if shes interested in another guy and has feelings for him, that there is no point in us meeting up. She said that she was disappointed I felt that way because she believes that everyone has to be friends first before they form a relationship. I agreed. But deep down I was a little upset.
She then went on to tell me that "Dont worry, your the only guy I really talk to :p, and that i should feel special" why would she say this? Im confused to be honest

Last night i texted her in the morning asking how she was and called her but no answer. She replied a few hours later saying she was at work. She pranked me so I can call her back but i didnt because I was out. I texted her 3 times in a row and she didnt reply. I then sent her a long text saying maybe we should not meet and that I felt that she was playing mindgames with me etc

She then sent me a text saying that Im acting like a girl and that she is really busy, and she mentioned that I was overseas

She then said that she found this unattractive (the fact that I sent 3 texts and then sent another one saying that I felt she was playing games etc)

I sent her a text this morning saying a few things. I lastly said that we should cease communication until i come back to melbourne, and If I feel right when im back, ill call her too meet up. She didnt reply...I know i have stuffed up but I dont want to meet her until I lose all the weight and look like my facebook photos. Its not fair If i had met up with her 15kgs heavier. I look a little different thats for sure.

Can someone give me some advice without being rude. Ive never felt this keen on a girl.

[rest77]

Why didn't you just tell her that you added some weight and that you will like to lose them before you meet with her in person. So she wouldn't be disappointed when you both meet in person and that your picture on Face-book was when you hadn't add weight.

She had no ideal why you are always coming up with different excuses when she asked you out. You might even be surprise that might even like you the way you are. And am pretty sure she will like the fact that you are doing something about your weight.

[Wakeup]

Well, I can give you advise but I'm not sure if I can refrain from being rude (I'll not actually be being rude, you just won't like hearing the truth about yourself)

I then sent her a long text saying maybe we should not meet and that I felt that she was playing mindgames with me etc

You've got some nerve. You've been playing games with her since the first email by lying with fake photos and excuses not to meet her. Then when she gets a hint that may be you're not interested or you're playing games yourself with your excuses, you send her an email acting like a beta male who has no other options... Yes, that is unattractive and frankly, she's got good personal boundaries to let you know that she doesn't find your behaviour attractive or wanted.

You'd do well to lose your weight that makes you act like a douche and then start flirting with girls on the internet and facebook. Better still, flirt with them in real life while doing good healthy things like amateur co-ed sports for instance (which will help you maintain your ideal weight) and meet your women that way. At least then you won't be making excuses why you can't actually see them face to face and having them lose interest in you through words on a screen.

Don't bother this girl anymore until you're confident enough to do something with her.

Good luck. Weight Watchers, Herbal Magic or Simply following Nutritional Health Guidelines and moderate exercise will quickly get you back to where you want to be.

Fix yourself and then look for a partner. It's the right chain of events.

Adding:

I sent her a text this morning saying a few things. I lastly said that we should cease communication until i come back to melbourne, and If I feel right when im back, ill call her too meet up.

Do you see what you did here? Not only are you still not being decisive and confident or telling her that you will meet her but rather still being a limp noodle with your pursuit. What would you expect her to do... jump all over your half-assed attempt and wait with baited breath to see if you're "feeling right." *sighs*

[rest77]

Adding:
Do you see what you did here? Not only are you still not being decisive and confident or telling her that you will meet her but rather still being a limp noodle with your pursuit. What would you expect her to do... jump all over your half-assed attempt and wait with baited breath to see if you're "feeling right." *sighs*

This got me laughing lol ".....What would you expect her to do... jump all over your half-assed attempt and wait with baited breath to see if you're "feeling right." *sighs*"

[anthaaa]

Wake up... Cheers mate. Appreciate your honesty. You're completely right. I dug myself a hole from the start. No doubt

Now. I'm about 4-6 weeks from reaching my goal weight. I don't want to give up in this in a way. Would it be right to call her when I lose the weight and ask to meet up? Or should I send her a text now etc. cheers for the honest replies means a ton guys.

[Wakeup]

Wake up... Cheers mate. Appreciate your honesty. You're completely right. I dug myself a hole from the start. No doubt

Now. I'm about 4-6 weeks from reaching my goal weight. I don't want to give up in this in a way. Would it be right to call her when I lose the weight and ask to meet up? Or should I send her a text now etc. cheers for the honest replies means a ton guys.

Yes, call her up and hopefully she's not off you altogether. Make a date to sit face to face with her, if she doesn't want to go then forget her, get your new fine ass out there and meet someone face to face and skip the facebook crap.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

[anthaaa]

Wake up youre a legend. She just texted me now saying it's totally fine. And said to call her when I get back. Enjoy your holiday. Xxxx with two smiley faces

So I'm assuming she's still interested in meeting up. It'll take me about 2 months to get the 12 or so 12kgs off. Already lost 3 this week.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my story. Ill keep you all posted.