Can someone please help me explain my ex-boyfiends actions

[BratKidz4]

We were together for 6 years and we have been split up for a little over 2 months now. He barely talks to me and if he does it’s hardly ever about us.

He has told me that me and the kids can go over to his house to spend time together and also that he wants all of us to go off somewhere but he hasn’t said anything about it, it's been a month, and I feel uncomfortable bringing it up because I fear he’s going to say no because he’s not ready yet.

He makes comments to people at work saying “she must be talking to her boyfriend” but when they say something to him he says “o I’m fine” but then draws on my arm.

He has told me that I need to start liking dogs if we are going to work things out. I was never an animal person and he is but since then I have been loving on the dog more and even letting her sit on the couch with me and letting her sleep inside at night.

He has told me that all of us need to change our attitudes if we are going to work on things. My attitude has changed a lot but he won’t talk to me to find out.

I had wrote him a thorough apology letter. I had tried talking to him but all he tells me is he’s not ready to talk or work things out and he keeps telling me that he wants his time and his space, which I am giving him, I just recently restarted the 30 days limited no contact and I have 24 days to go, but when he gets a place of his own then we will see about working things out but he has told me that I have his word that we will work on things when he gets a place of his own but in the same sentence he tells me “if we do we do if we don’t we don’t”. He probably won’t get another place for another 4-5 month from now.

I asked him a week ago if we can get to know each other again and he said “yes later”. I then asked him “later when?” and he would not reply. The next day is when I started the no contact again. I had tried it before but then broke down.

Him and his mom came to help me the other night when my battery died in a parking lot. He told me the only reason he really came to help is because of our daughter but he said that he probably would had come even if she wasn’t with me. He did offer me a ride to work if it wouldn’t had started the next day so I don’t know if that’s a good sign or not. I did thank him for helping me and I told him I appreciated it. He said no problem. That was the last time we talked.

I’m not understanding what his plan is for what he’s wanting to happen between us and he won’t talk to me for me to find out. I was a keeper that turned into a throwback. How do I gain control of getting the keeper title again? How can I get back on his good side to where we can start working things out? I don’t go around him because I feel like he never wants me around him and because I am trying to give him his time and his space and if I keep going around him he's going to feel like I'm trying to smother him or however he’s feeling. I’m sorry can someone please help me! I don’t know what to do. I have tried and tried to talk to him but he won’t talk to me so I’m thinking if I give him his space he will come around. Please help me…I am so confused on what I need to do!!!

[purple_roses]

You are broken up..
And he's not giving u any answers on when u may or may not get back together...
So quit living your life in limbo. It's not good for you or for the kids. Move on with your life. Quit trying to pull him back, it sounds like u are just pushing him farther when u do that. I wouldn't be friends with him or talk to him. Are the kids yours together? If that's the case then yeah you'll have to talk some.
But being friends isn't healthy and will only cause u more pain. Sounds like he is clearly letting u know he wants you to back off for awhile so I would. And if he's nice one day, I'd take things slow and not just run back into his arms again. Decide what's right for you and make him earn your love again, not just give it to him so easily when he keeps breaking up with you.

[BratKidz4]

I am giving him his space. I have sent him a few messages here and there but I’m not trying to start a conversation with him. We do have 1 child together and we work together.

I understand I need to give him his space but how do I make him feel like I appreciate him and make him feel like a man again if I’m not going to be around him or talk to him?

Why is he telling me things that make me feel like he eventually wants to get back together but for the most part he’s not talking to me at all or showing actions?

Can you explain those things to me PLEASE?

[bulrush]

You two sound incompatible. People who change too much against their nature often become bitter partners, then no one is happy, and the relationship dies anyway. This is why compatibility is so important.

When you are compatible with your SO, love is much easier, and change is minimal as is stress.

[belltops]

Reality is a bitter pill to swallow.

Truth is that he does not want a relationship with you. I bet he is feeling comfy because he knows that you are stuck in limbo and at his mercy. Better start moving on and exploring the possibility of dating again.
You will find out that the earlier you start digging yourself out of the hole you've dug for yourself, the better for you and your kid.

Besides (i'm not saying you should attempt to make him jealous) but once you begin making a new life (Dating, social engagements etc.) for yourself, he would find you desirable once more.