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Thread: Help - he won't take the engagement ring back

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    Help - he won't take the engagement ring back

    Please help. My ex fiancé has decided that he can no longer continue in our relationship. He wants me to keep the engagement ring however I feel that he should take it back. We lived together however he moved out 6 weeks ago to sort out his head & the whole break up has been long & drawn out over those 6 weeks. We talked via text yesterday and the ring came up, I told him that it was only right that I returned it & his reply was 'No Way!! It's yours' I replied saying 'Thank you but I think you should sell it, I'm not going to wear it again & you could pay off your loan or buy that computer Sam wants (his son)'. He hasn't replied as I'm now sure he's deeply offended so my question is how can I make him take the ring back without causing too much fuss??

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    Don't. He's going through a weird phase right now.

    If you live in the US, it's legally his - so don't sell it. Put it away for a while. Out of sight, out of mind. Come back in a year and offer (in writing) for him to have it. If he still says it's yours, you can then figure out legally if you can sell it.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathias View Post

    If you live in the US, it's legally his - so don't sell it.
    Etteiquette wise I agree with Mathias, but legally he may not be right.

    Depends on the state you live in......some states view it as a gift (goes to the woman no matter the reason of the break up), some as a conditional gift (goes to the man no matter why the break up), and some view it as a contract (reason for the break up is considered, and who initiated the break up).

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    It's not a big deal; focus on more important matters and put the ring in a safe place. If he decides he wants it back a few months from now, give it to him and case closed. My ex wanted me to keep mine, so I did. No biggie. I'd been wearing it for ages and it's a nice token to have - but if he'd wanted it back, I'd have given it back. Simple.

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    I would agree that you shouldn't worry about it. It isn't that big of a deal. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to minimize your feelings. I understand if it feels important to you. The thing is, you offered and he doesn't want it back. If you don't want it either, just put it in a ring box and store it somewhere. Give him time to get over things, and down the road maybe ask him one last time. In the end, if he refuses to take it back even after a reasonable amount of time has passed, then consider it yours. Pawn it, sell it, or whatever you want at that point.

    When it comes down to it, you didn't offer to hurt his feelings, you offered because you felt it was the right thing to do. Don't let him make you feel bad because of that. You did the right thing. It's okay for him to refuse to take it back, but h shouldn't take it personally that you don't necessarily want to keep it. Why would he expect that you would?

  6. #6
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    I don't see what the big deal is. Keep the damn ring. Or throw it away. there's no legal issues here. People can't sue for gifts.

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