[23/m]Advice on getting ex back??

[Needsadvice23]

Hello all!

Wall of text inc so bear with me. Would like some advice on my current situation.

So I've been dating this girl for over 2 years. We just broke up a month ago, and I wasn't happy about it but I agreed it would be mutual and we would still be best friends. The days following that I became so enraged and told her we could never be friends. I thought that by breaking off the friendship I would stop feeling so miserable and I could move on with my life. I insisted she return my things such as my clothes and keys, she said no that she wasn't going to let that happen, and heavy, intense arguments followed.

Flash forward 3 weeks of no talking, and I learned a lot about my self. It was kind of my fault for the break up and I realize that now. My Dad passed away almost 1 year ago and it's been a real struggle. She was with me through the whole thing and it really strengthened our bond. What I was unaware of at the time was I was building up a wall to block out every emotion and feeling. I just didn't know how to handle it. And I unintentionally blocked feelings for her too, which caused the end of us.

About 2 days ago I recently let everything out I was holding behind that wall. I spilled everything to a very trusted older person and learned a lot about myself. Things came out of my own mouth that I never knew I felt. I feel so good for the first time in a long time and really know what I want from life. Among other things, I realized I still loved my ex and was not going to let this be the end. I told myself I will fight for her as hard or as long as it takes.

So I called her yesterday, and asked her for one hour just to talk in person. At first she said no, and I just said ok. Then an unexpected call that she freed up some time. I told her all the things I realized about myself. And that I couldn't lose her friendship after everything we have been through. She was shocked to hear me say the exact stuff that ended our relationship and that I was going to fix those things for my self (and secretly hers). I don't think she expected me to figure that out.

She told me that she was in a new relationship. My stomach nearly burst when I heard that. I couldn't believe she could replace me so quick. But I kept my cool and said that's ok I understand you need time and to see what else is out there. I told her that I'm not giving up on us and I'll be patient and fight for you.

When I told her that I had hooked up with someone, she became pretty defensive and told me to keep it in my pants, made me promise to wear a condom, and she "felt like she needed to reclaim what was hers." I told her if she was going to date someone else than so was I. The hour turned into about 4 and ended in a long make-out session. I know the more time I spend with her in person, The more I can show her I'm a totally new person and fixed the things that were wrong. I need advice on how to get more face time with her, not sound desperate but let her know I'm fighting hard, and fast track this thing back into our relationship.

What I know I need to do: -Give her time -Give her space -Dont text/call ? -Focus on myself -Let this rebound relationship run its course

But in the mean time how do I stop her new relationship from getting to me. I know the guy is, less attractive than me, shorter than her, no job, no car, big family(which she doesn't like). These were all words out of her mouth, not my speculation.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!

[purple_roses]

So... Uhh.. She cheated on her boyfriend with you? Sick. Yeah definetly a winner that u should try to win back. Goodluck with that.

[woody]

RAther sounds like the gender roles are reversed here. They moved on. You broke up for reasons. Maybe not what your hoping to hear?; yet maybe you ought move on too.
sorry to say but that's my two cents

Never easy losing a relationship you got hung up on, felt some rejection, received some mixed signals, all that. Yet you must be careful not to obsess over it either. You lost your FAther last year. This person was around for you when this happened; you shared a bond and you miss them; but they have turned the page and aside from saying the odd thing here and there to save your feelings from being too crushed, the message has been fairly clear.

This other person(now with your ex) has no money, car, job and has a big family which you say your ex doesn't like. Well they must like something about them. It's not all about material possessions so I imagine the new s.o has a great personality amongst other things.

I won't advise you to try getting them back as by the sounds of your story, sounds like nothing more but heartache, misinterpretation and confusion, again, sorry to say.
They moved on pretty quickly. Red flag right there; question is, why aren't you seeing it?