need relationship advice

[lovedontloveher]

My fiance and I have been together over 4 years. In the beginning things were great. I had a really bad relationship prior and I told him about all that I went threw. However the last year has been very uneasy. We argue constantly, we don't have sex the way we did he, says he im.not willing to try new things. However he completely stopped everything he was doing sexually physically. He says I don't initiate sex and I don't give him enough oral sex however he doesn't even touch me anymore . I believe there may be someone else he say there isnt. He stays out all night and only calls when he is going to the store otherwise he texts me. Please help am I fool for staying

[Inspired Esther]

Well, first of all don't Jump to conclusions yet. Although i must say that from his complains he seems to be getting more sex somewhere else and if that's the case you trying to give him better sex won't help. Besides he's your fiance, you're not supposed to be having sex with him. When a guy gets all he wants without total commitment(marriage) there will be no reason for him to stay since he's got all he wants already he'll just move to his next prey.
My Advice: 1. No more sex at all
2. Confront him to know if he's actually still interested (don't shout or quarrel, ask him lovingly).

[lovedontloveher]

I thank you for your advice, , I actually did that I spoke with him very lovingly and stern, inquiring if he is still interested .He said he was and that he's just been going threw some things. When I asked if he was interested in someone else he said no and why do I ask. So I'm just convinced that he doesn't see the era in his ways there are more occasions than few that he either don't come home or stays out very late. As far sex go I have stopped however I think im punishing myself more :-)

[Wakeup]

Well, first of all don't Jump to conclusions yet. Although i must say that from his complains he seems to be getting more sex somewhere else and if that's the case you trying to give him better sex won't help. Besides he's your fiance, you're not supposed to be having sex with him. When a guy gets all he wants without total commitment(marriage) there will be no reason for him to stay since he's got all he wants already he'll just move to his next prey.
My Advice: 1. No more sex at all
2. Confront him to know if he's actually still interested (don't shout or quarrel, ask him lovingly).

What century do you live in?

When I asked if he was interested in someone else he said no and why do I ask.

Well when he asked you "why do you ask?" I hope you told HIM everything you told us here in your Opening Post. If you didn't, you need help with your communication skills. If you did, what did he say?

[lovedontloveher]

Yes of course I said even more than I posted, he basically said I'm overreacting and that I cant bring my past into the present that I need to stop being so negative about everything. He makes me feel like I am bugging but it's so much more than words can express. I've tried talking to him ,he'll take my talks as I'm starting arguments, so I just don't say to much any more. I love him to pieces, but I really don't know what to do.

[Wakeup]

It takes more then love to make a relationship work and if he's not willing to help get you two back on the romantic track you once enjoyed together then maybe it's time you left? He has to understand that these are real feelings you're experiencing due to his actions (or lack of them) and that your past has NOTHING to do with the fact that you don't go out on fun dates anymore, you don't have sex, you don't put your focus on one another like you once did and what can he suggest that will get the emotional connection back that you both once enjoyed.

Have some ideas at the ready of your own and tell him "this is what I've come up with that will make me feel that you've not lost interest in me. What can you come up to help US?"

[lovedontloveher]

We honestly had that conversation and he suggested that we have a break , we would live seperatly. I wasn't in agreement to that, because I feel people only take breaks to see other people. I said were supposed to get married are you going to ask for a break then too. Since I been not giving him.the energy anymore he's starting to show some progress but Im still leery.

[Wakeup]

His solution to get back on the right track was to take a break from one another? Yes, well he's either done but just hasn't broken up with you yet or he's cheating. He's a lazy ****. Don't marry him and take that break but make it a total break up.

[lovedontloveher]

It has been weighing heavily on my mind maybe we have run our course an it is time.to move forward with out him. I thank you so much for your ear I really needed someone's advice other than my own thoughts .

[moneyspills]

Confront him to know if he's actually still interested (don't shout or quarrel, ask him lovingly).





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