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Thread: Weird Guy.. Or Is He Just NOT Interested??

  1. #1
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    Weird Guy.. Or Is He Just NOT Interested??

    I will try to keep it short.

    I am an attractive girl, there are many guys who would like to hang out with me, but I liked this guy who acts kind of strange to me..

    At the beginning he was joking and flirting a bit, but then I started texting him, and he responded, but with simple one or two word answers. He said he is just busy.

    So I just directly asked him out for a drink.

    I asked him out in person, and while in person he agreed, but then cancelled over text message, and said he is concentrated on work.

    Then when I brought it up again he said he just doesn't hang out with girls at all. That he only talks to them if it's job related and that's it.

    That seems to be true, because someone from the beginning told me that he only had one girlfriend and since they broke up, he has been alone for 2 or 3 years.

    He also said: "if we go out for a drink, because you are an attractive girl, I will get "bad thoughts" and I don't want that. I said I don't mind his "bad thoughts" He said still he doesn't want that to happen.
    Like I said, at first he agreed to "make an exception" and go with me, but then cancelled.

    So what's going on do you think? Is he just not interested?
    Last edited by Fjortis; 19-10-14 at 11:28 PM.

  2. #2
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    Sounds like he's still not over his breakup. Move on - is the sensible thing to do.
    Or if you're okay with getting hurt, pursue him, show him that you're not so bad. He agreed to meet up with you, so he wants to break through his wall, but he can't do that alone, so show him that you want to help him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Archie View Post
    Sounds like he's still not over his breakup. Move on - is the sensible thing to do.
    Or if you're okay with getting hurt, pursue him, show him that you're not so bad. He agreed to meet up with you, so he wants to break through his wall, but he can't do that alone, so show him that you want to help him.
    Well, from what I know he dated only one girl before, for about 6 years.. But not getting over a break-up after almost 3 years? I think that's kind of unhealthy... That would be half of their relationship time with her already... What could that girl possibly have done to "traumatize" him so much, I wonder.. if that's the case...
    Last edited by Fjortis; 20-10-14 at 06:39 AM.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fjortis View Post
    I will try to keep it short.

    I am an attractive girl, there are many guys who would like to hang out with me, but I liked this guy who acts kind of strange to me..

    At the beginning he was joking and flirting a bit, but then I started texting him, and he responded, but with simple one or two word answers. He said he is just busy.

    So I just directly asked him out for a drink.

    I asked him out in person, and while in person he agreed, but then cancelled over text message, and said he is concentrated on work.

    Then when I brought it up again he said he just doesn't hang out with girls at all. That he only talks to them if it's job related and that's it.

    That seems to be true, because someone from the beginning told me that he only had one girlfriend and since they broke up, he has been alone for 2 or 3 years.

    He also said: "if we go out for a drink, because you are an attractive girl, I will get "bad thoughts" and I don't want that. I said I don't mind his "bad thoughts" He said still he doesn't want that to happen.
    Like I said, at first he agreed to "make an exception" and go with me, but then cancelled.

    So what's going on do you think? Is he just not interested?
    He sounds like he has the same disorder that you may have, Fjortis.

    He told you what's going on re-read your own post for the answer and then quit bugging the guy.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  5. #5
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    There are things that is going on in his personal life that you don't know about. Maybe he has parents who arrange his marriage, maybe he already had a fiance or girlfriend that he doesn't tell others about, maybe you are not his type. There are many possibilities. But it might be too personal for him to tell you. So, just leave him alone.
    A strong woman takes advantage of help she can get from people around her but she doesn't rely on them for anything

    She uses logic and manages her emotions

    She offers help either because it is a business transaction or out of kindness. It is never because she hopes others will return the favour or out of fear of losing them

    She has her own mind and thinks for herself and knows that she has to be the one who bears the consequences of her decisions

  6. #6
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    He also said: "if we go out for a drink, because you are an attractive girl, I will get "bad thoughts" and I don't want that. I said I don't mind his "bad thoughts" He said still he doesn't want that to happen.
    Like I said, at first he agreed to "make an exception" and go with me, but then cancelled.
    Sounds like he feels guilty about having bad thoughts about you. If you want to keep trying to tell him you understand and are ok with his "bad thoughts", but I also think he's not over his ex. Taking 2-3 years for him to get over her is just ridiculous and unrealistic. It shows he does not have the experience to manage his emotions.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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