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Thread: What would you do if your exgirlfriend did this?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    Female
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    What would you do if your exgirlfriend did this?

    My boyfriend broke up with me in July. He did some bad things in the end but on the whole it was I who behaved stupidly in the relationship. I was clingy, wanted to see him all the time, let him get no proper time, started easy fights, made him feel like he was not good enough, etc. In addition, I put on my weight.

    The reason for this was that I had extremely low self-esteem. Since then I hace worked hard to improve myself, I have reduced 20 kg weight, I have expanded my social intercourse lots and made new friends. I have also thought a lot about what I did wrong in the relationship and tried to improve myself. I have done that both myself but I have also taken the help of a psychologist and a relationship coach.

    My opinion is that I probably would not have been able to be with someone as I was before, anybody had finally dumped me because I put my happiness in their hands and did not really have my own life.

    I feel that I would like to give me and my ex-boyfriend a chance if he's willing to do so. So therefore I have thought that I should suggest a coffee. We have had NO contact during the summer and fall so it will be the first contact for a long time (if he even answers when I call).

    My questions to you guys is you were in my exboyfriends situation and your ex-girlfriend called you and you haven’t heard from her for a couple of months, would you answer the phone? (Considering you too said and did bad things in the end that you felt a bit a shamed of).
    If you met her and she had lost weight, become better looking, better charisma, happier, more at ease with herself and seems to have a life of their own, would you give her a chance then do you think? At least a chance to get to know eachother again. (You are not dating anyone special)

    Since I also wonder if he asks about what happen if I should tell you that I met a psychologist and coach, or if it is foolish to reveal it? (If it lowers the chances of me)

    Is there anything else you as a girl could do to bring that expojkväns interest in? Increase the attraction? Doing so he sees as girlfriend material again?

    Thank you ..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    Male
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    not sure if i'd pick up the call but i would eventually listen to a vm or read a text and decide if i wanted to reply to either depending on the tone of both she sent. you haven't talked in months you don't know if he is dating a new girl, so you should find out if he is single before you try to get him back. i wouldn't break off a current good relationship for an ex that i had a troubled past with, you need to think of that too. you won't know until you try to contact him but if you try and he doesn't respond leave him alone he has moved on.
    When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do.
    William Blake

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    West Michigan
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    2,267
    Since I also wonder if he asks about what happen if I should tell you that I met a psychologist and coach, or if it is foolish to reveal it?
    I had a gf I really cared about, she was a bit clingy, but I think mainly due to lack of experience. However, we were incompatible in the area of sex, so no I wouldn't get back with her.

    You have to show you actually got results by changing your life. Talk is cheap, results speak for themselves.
    Only then will you have a chance.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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