Separated and still in the same house

[JohnPeel]

Having something to focus on has been a big help for me through this. Yes, my children have been the biggest focus, and having other things to focus on has been important also. The thought of being able to do what I want when I want, getting my health back, being free to choose my own path. All these things have been a focus, but I am going to let you all in on a really big focus that I am pretty sure I haven't let you in on as yet.

As I have already told you lot, I have done some amazing things and been to some amazing places in my life, but I have also had a dream of an adventure so really big, huge in fact. Once I am away from here, I am going to Cycle Around The World!

It's true, you might think I am full of shi# but it's true. I have thought a lot about this, and for most of my life it has been an idea I have had that just hasn't left me. Sure, trekking through the Amazon was amazing, but this will be something else.

I have been looking at it like this, here I am suffering a relationship that has almost killed me, a relationship that if I had kept it going, would have lead me to nothing but more misery and sadness. But now I am free to do anything at all that I want, anything!

I have spoken with my daughters about this for a while, and they think it is amazing and are wanting to support me through all the way, the same goes for my family and friends, although some think I am crazy and will never survive it. My Daughters and I are taking a long and really great holiday together once the house has sold, and I am going to help them out with a few things for their futures, and then I am off. I will be returning regularly to see my daughters and family of course, and will be on skype and social media daily or when I can get access.

To have this on top of every other good thing to focus on, has been important to me. I have absolutely nothing to lose by working on this and planning this, only everything to gain. Even if it doesn't actually come off (but it will), I have had another great thing to focus on and to take my mind away from her.

I even wonder whether or not, if I hadn't gone through all that I have gone through these years with her, would I actually now be the position I am in where I can see a life long dream to reality. Makes you wonder doesn't it, because I am not one for really thinking "what will be will be" or "if it's meant to happen it will", but it makes you wonder.

Anyway, to show you this isn't something I have just come up with since yesterday, I set up a Google+ community months ago to talk about my wanting to do this. And I also have a website which I set up only recently. I'm not posting links in the post for it, but if you want to have a look or are interested, message me and I will give you the links.

I just wanted you lot to know that I have a plan that's all, a good plan, and I am become happier and stronger by the day, and you lot have played a big part in that. I am so glad I found this forum and had all the support from you all.

Thank you again my "Cyber Friends". Let me tell you this, don't be expecting too much in the way of negativity from me in future posts.

[woody]

Oh J.P, i've never felt any negativity from any of your posts; only words of a man in need of some cosmic support for a once unfortunate situation that you've now turned around to walk forward into a new a bright future.
I think it's just grand your planning to ride across the Globe. You'll need good gear, a great mountain bike, camping equipment and the know how for fixing any busted parts on the bike. Rain gear and some gadgets to post your adventure through as your camping underneath big skies. Awesome man. Simply awesome.....

Hey, your doing it! Good on you...Keep up the good work and let us know how your doing from time to time.

well wishes to you and your daughters!

kind regards,
woody

[JohnPeel]

Thank you, it is so hard to believe the difference from my first post at the end of October last year. I would never have believed I would be in this frame of mind right now. It feels great.

[woody]

^Excellent. Keep it going....

[JohnPeel]

22 Feb 15

It is a different kind of hard here at the moment. I have to admit to feeling quite lonely and a bit sad. Not nervous, worried and scared like before, sad types of feeling abound. And I think it is because for the last two weeks, we have actually been working together to keep the house looking good and preparing it for spring when I will reduce the price again once there is some green on the trees and all the wild flowers are blooming.

We have actually even laughed at a few things together. She has cooked tea and I have done breakfast at times. I go cycling every day and to the gym, and I catch up with friends and family a couple of times a week, and I have started going to a boxing gym near where my daughters live in my home town of Warrington that is owned by a friend of mine, and 4 of us old friends catch up there now and have a laugh. All these things I couldn't do before. She now goes to work a couple of time a week and we are getting on in a way.

At the same time, and don't get me wrong, I really don't like her. I will never fall into the trap of us getting back together, and will always resent her for what she has done and how she has been. It is just that I miss affection and being close to someone, a cuddle, a kiss, little things like that. I haven't had that in so many years, and it is a strange feeling I have going on right now.

I am so looking forward to the house selling, but fear it taking too long. At the moment and like I said, it is not vicious or nasty here at the moment, we aren't snarling at each other or having digs at each other, it is just different. I can tell you something else as well, when we talk or interact, I see lifeless eyes, selfish, evil eyes and I can almost hear her scheming heartless mind clanging away. I can see her much more clearly for the horror that she is. And trust me, I will not be dropping my guard for a second, I know what she is capable of.

And besides all that, well I am so excited about my cycling around the world adventure. I am really going to go through with it. I want the adventurer back, the guy who would take risks crawling through the Amazon jungle, catching snakes with his bare hands in the Australian Outback. I want me back, and it is happening. Over 4 stone lighter now and so much fitter. My friends can't believe the difference. I have a friend who owns a boxing gym and I now go there a And when I have been out for a drink with my friends a couple of times the last two weeks, I have had women come up to me chatting me up and commenting on my shoulders and chest. It is a fantastic feeling, a feeling I haven't had in far too long.

My website is live and I have connected with other adventurers and explorers, and have had some great feedback. 3 famous adventurers and world cyclists have given me their best wishes. One of them was a Guinness World Record holder for cycling round the world, another is famous for cycling around the world unassisted and has had books published and videos. So it's all pretty good and exciting. My daughters love that I am planning this adventure and are behind me completely. My eldest daughter is going on her own adventure to work in the pubs and bars in the Canary Islands, and I think she is adventurous like me.

All in all, I am a bit sad and lonely for affection at the moment, excited at the prospect of going on the biggest adventure of my life. Excited at being able to live my life the way that I want to live it. And I am just loving reconnecting with everyone, especially my wonderful daughters. Just thought I would update you all.


My website is up and working fine now with regard to my cycling around the world once I have sold the house and I am away from her.

[pcmaster]

John Peel saga is going on and on. Are you a writer? It seems like you have a gift.
Didnt know your website is about cycling, how to find it?

[woody]

Thanks for the update; yeah, wondered how you've been.

Once you get out on that road, your going to continue meeting great and interesting people which will assist in those lonely moments. When the adrenalin begins to surge as you peddle hard, clarity will follow, even more than it is now.

i say again, good on you and we all wish you every success regarding your journey. Keep us posted!

[pcmaster]

I suggest you write diary when you go on a journey. Like every night when you finish cycling write on this thread or on your website how the day was. For that you will need smartphone with you. Also diary will be much like therapy and will benefit you in that way that you would have overview on your life over that period.

[JohnPeel]

Yes, I have a friend who has re-written and published Shakespeare's works, and he has offered (for small royalty cuts of course, which is great) to write a book about my cycle for me to then publish, which would be another great reason to complete the cycle. He suggested my keeping a diary and blog posts updated so he can take information from it as I go, and also video in HD. He said, like you, it would be therapeutic at the very least.

He suggested writing books on cycling countries or continents and then a book on the whole thing. I guess he loves to write even more than I do I bet you find that hard to believe! I have just today been talking with MapMyRide about how to have GPS map my every move when on the road and embed to app into my website so everyone can follow. All good stuff to keep my mind happy.