Give it a shot or not?

[nicegirl00]

Hi i've been going crazy these past few days just thinking about this. Here's my story I met this guy while I was on a mini-vacation in Vegas. I went clubbing and met this guy named John (psedonym) he's a Resident doctor in Phoenix Arizona and i'm a flight attendant from a foreign country so i was just there for a short stay. We exchanged numbers and he was consistent in a way that he would text me through viber every other day or sometimes everyday or every 3 days it depends coz he has a crazy schedule being a resident doctor and all. Our conversations were pleasant but not really deep but i felt like he was a nice guy...idk it's probably intuition. Although, our convos can get pretty sexual and would lead to sexting. Anyway, we arranged for a meet up just this month, so prior to that we've been talking for a little over 2 months. I had so many doubts and I sort of freaked out on him through viber telling him that I don't think it's wise to meet up and spend time with someone I barely knew but I took a risk and he did too. He flew from Arizona to San Fo and we spent the weekend together at first I was very apprehensive but he had his ways of making me feel at ease and comfortable. It was refreshing coz we were able to talk about ourselves more he seemed fairly interested in me asking me personal questions and stuff about me and it surprised me that he rememebered the little details we talked about on viber in short our convos were way different from the ones we had through viber. Anyway, things escalated quickly coz the attraction between the 2 of us was undeniable..we had amazing sex and couldn't get our hands of each other. He took me to a nice resort took me out for dinner, we strolled by the beach had lunch there. We talked about a lot of stuff..had some things in common..everything felt genuine and good. During the course of our time together he was honest enough to mention some issues about us: FIRST of all, I live far away, second of all I'm not Arab (it is an issue for his family)..he has Arab roots although he is not a Muslim. We're both Christians so there's no problem with that, as he verbalized this i fell silent and i just listened to what he had to say he could've sensed that i was quiet affected by this and said that, "But you know if you really like someone, you'll do anything to make it work..i don't know."
After that great weekend I felt attached in some sort of way..maybe it's the hormones that were released during sex, maybe because he's a really nice guy who i can see myself with or maybe I just miss having someone taking care of me making me feel special i've been single for 3 yrs btw and still am. We had a great time together. We laughed we shared our goals our dreams. We had a good connection.

But after that weekend i noticed he seemed distant and a bit different..though he's on night shift right now and is really busy..he used to be the one to message me first..so what i did was I gave him space and the first time he contacted me first was 4 days after our weekend together and it just led to sexting.

So my question is this guy interested in me in a way that it's possible for him to pursue a loving relationship with me or is he just physically attracted to me and enjoys my company but he doesn't seem to have long term plans? Or is it too early to tell?

I mean why spend so much on a plane ticket a car rental a resort nice restos and stuff just to get intimate with a girl who lives on the other side of the world if you have no plans of pursuing her?

I'm very confused right now and there's a big career opportunity for me coming this early 2015 and I have an option of going on leave from flying either for a year or 2 months. If i go on leave for a year i'd be able to finish this course really fast but if its jst for 2 months i'd have to squeeze it in my days off from flying. The reason why i'm sharing this is because if I go on leave for a year I won't be able to fly to the States and possibly spend time with him but if i go on a short leave i'd still be able to see him..well that's if we're still talking by then.. everything's still fresh, new and uncertain. I don't know if it's wise to include him in my Career plans at this very early stage or should I just go with the better career option on go on leave for a year? What if he wss the one? What if..I have so many what ifs..Idk what to do...your opinions are highly appreciated. Thank you

[Wakeup]

He's told you from the beginning in his own albeit ambiguous way that he'll enjoy a sexual weekend away with you but don't expect him to court you consistently or to commit to you. He did this when he told you that his parents would NOT approve of you. Too bad he didn't tell you that before he arranged a fucfest with you. At least then you'd be going in knowing that this is just a fling and to not expect that sex will garner you a relationship.

Consider this what it was ~ a fling and if he calls you up to do it again, consider it a booty call and don't think he's doing it because he can't live without you. I'm sure he's getting with other girls where he lives who also aren't going to live up to his parents expectations for a lifemate for him as well.

Any dude who starts up sext or cam session to have sex with you before he's had a real date with you is just looking for some fun. Remember that and be cautious about any guy that initiates that line of interaction with you before you've become a real couple.

I mean why spend so much on a plane ticket a car rental a resort nice restos and stuff just to get intimate with a girl who lives on the other side of the world if you have no plans of pursuing her?

Because he can. You let him afterall.

You'd be foolish to consider him when planning anything in your future. He's told you that his parents wouldn't approve of you and it's in his upbringing to marry someone of his own origin. He won't disrespect his parents.

He's backed off now so that you get the hint that it was just the fling that it was. That is the mind-set you should adopt in order to protect your own better judgement and emotional health.

[ispitzhotfire]

It is hard to say his motives from all of this, but I wouldn't put your own life on hold waiting for him. If you taking the year off means you can further yourself, yet not see him, I would still do it. You might not see him again or maybe you guys date and are together for a year. You are with yourself for the rest of your life. So if you can better your situation, I would do that.