Can't make my girlfriend reach orgasm

[cjpd84]

Hello everyone,

Need your help, tips, suggestions or thoughts.

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 months and I haven't been able to make her reach orgasm. I've never had this problem before.
It makes me feel sad, lost, confused and don't know what to do.

My last girlfriend told me that I was the best she has ever had in bed and made her feel like no one else did before; My previous girlfriends always had orgasms and the few women I've dated and had sex with reached orgasms all the time.

I love foreplay, kissing, caressing, rubbing, teasing...then rubbing my fingers on her vagina and clit, love to go down and give her oral sex (which I really enjoy) and after all that, move on to penetration.
When I'm in bed I tell my girlfriend how sexy she looks, that she tastes amazing, that I love the way she moves, that's she is incredibly beautiful; pretty much I tell her how I feel.

When I'm giving her oral sex, there's very little signs of her enjoying like moans or hips movement. I was used to this driving them crazy and really enjoying themselves!. Only when I use my finger to stimulate her g-spot is when there are greater sings of more enjoyment. I've asked her to tell me when I'm hitting the spot she likes and at the right speed; I've given her oral sex and g-spot stimulation for almost 30 minutes after another 20 mins of foreplay...no orgasm at all
She really enjoys penetration and likes it when I do it fast, however I can't keep up the speed she wants for very long because I start to get sore or tired. Our sessions they usually go for one and a half to 3 hours or more and I can't never make her reach orgasm.

Why is this so important to me? because my girlfriend's pleasure is all that matters honestly. For example, if she comes 2 or 3 times during a session and then asks me to stop because she is getting sore or tired, I have no problem stopping and going to sleep or continuing with our day, even if I don't have an orgasm.

We talked and I told her I was feeling really down because I wasn't able to pleasure her; she said that I do pleasure her and she enjoys it. Then I told her that I've never seen her, legs shake, back curve, eyes go white, literally cum or move up and down like crazy when having an orgasm (which I think is a beautiful thing). She told me she's never had any of that before. I don't know if she said it to be nice or is the true. I asked her what she likes and how she likes it but still no luck.
A day later I told her that I don't expect her to react the same way other women did, that I don't want her to reach climax next time; pretty much making her feel like it's okay if she doesn't reach it and that I'm not trying to pressure it.

We have been talking about wedding, spending life together, kids, wedding location, guests, etc... we even saw houses for sale together. It sounds crazy because we haven't been together for that long.

What do you girls/guys think? what can be done?

Thanks in advance.

[breathe123]

Try having sex in different locations, change things up, be more spontaneous with her, surprise her, maybe role play. If she has never had that then maybe she should go and see why on her own, unless it doesn't concern her as much as it concerns you?

[cjpd84]

Try having sex in different locations, change things up, be more spontaneous with her, surprise her, maybe role play. If she has never had that then maybe she should go and see why on her own, unless it doesn't concern her as much as it concerns you?

That's sounds interesting.

I'm not sure how concerning is for her, but thank you for sharing your advice, appreciated.

[michelle23]

If she doesn't know her own body and what she likes then you will never know. Its probably anxiety or a mental block that is stopping her from letting go. If shes never had an orgasm than shes prob nervous and doesn't know what to expect. Buy her some toys, send her away on her own to explore and expirement and then she may begin to enjoy sex with you.

You could also print off some tips for her on how to have an orgasm or get her a book. Tell her its v important that she learns what she likes in order to enjoy sex.

If she refuses to explore then im sorry but your wasting your time. Sex will become a chore soon.

It does sound like shes never had one which is why shes responding so quickly to gspot stimulation. Most women who have clit orgasms have to be trained to have gspot ones. It takes time for their body to get used to the different stimulation.

My advice is to stay away from her gspot completely until shes having regular clit orgasms. Then you can slowly introduce that. otherwise she will need it rough every time and you don't like it that way.

Good luck

[woody]

dear O.P

Well don't force it. Can't be forced and any build up of expectations might prolong the journey. Do you folks use toys? Toys can be a fun way to explore and bring down any walls so to speak; makes people less inhibited once they've been there and back again so to speak.
Next question of mine is, has she ever had an orgasm? Some ladies have certain positions that work for them which do not work for others. We are all different to some degree down yonder way.

Seems you've had some good advice here so I'll end my blurb now. But here's hoping she gets a deep orgasm soon. The superficial clitoral ones, though quick and alright are nothing in comparison to the full and deeper ones. Nothing quite like those and in my experience, not always achievable but worth the wait. Just continue with your patience and exploration, both of you.