Is it worth it without trust

[kkrls]

I feel like I constantly think about past events. Which burdens the relationship. I always hold past events against him and I cannot let them go. They cause more fights because I always expect something else. I just don't know if it can be rebuilt...
Even if I were to ever start a new relationship in the future Im sure I would have the same trust issues so why start with anyone else to just have the same reoccurring issues.
I feel like I might as well try my hardest to make this one work because I do love him and have alot of time put into the relationship but at the same time I cause more fights and hold things against him which isn't fair but I just cant let go of things and I feel like it will cause even more issues in the future of our relationship if I cannot find a way to get through it.
Even though he has been doing good lately I still always expect something, I still look for stuff. I hate who I have become from this.
I never wanted to be the naggy girlfriend that looks through his phone when he is asleep and I am that girl... sadly.

[katyk]

Trust to me is the grounding for any relationship. People screw up, time and time again and if you can't forgive and forget your only option is to move on! If you keep resurrecting old ground then you kill yourself along with your partner. Have you heard the saying
"The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there." Should you move on, you don't take any 'baggage' along with you. Staying in a relationship you aren't happy in because you fear you will take insecurities onwards is not a valid reason to stay. Yes, you may be hurt again.....but its all about finding that one person who won't disappoint. Having said that everyone is capable of hurting the person they love even unintentionally. If you agree to forgive, you have to do it!

[Wakeup]

Again I ask: What the eff keeps you with him? You got no where else to go? No other men in your area? Desperate and so you settle for a lying, inappropriate acting asshole that if he hasn't already cheated on you is creepy enough to set something up with an escort only to not show up because "it makes them mad." If your bf gets off on the garbage he's doing then Your bf is a sociopath ffs

[michelle23]

Its hard to work on trust issues if your with someone who has proved they cannot be trusted but if you move on, you can heal, rebuild the broken pieces in you, even get counselling if you need to in order to help you trust men again. They are not all liars or cheaters. Plenty of good ones around so why are you settling for someone that you feel paranoid with all the time? You don't even like who you are when with him, he brings out the worst in you. Relationships are not supposed to be this way.

You can choose to stay in a dysfunctional mess and keep dragging yourself further down or you can take control of your life and allow yourself some peace and happieness. Would it not be nice to be able to just breathe and not worry about anything for awhile? You would be better off single right now then living in this constant state of anxiety and stress

What are you so afraid of that you wont allow yourself that freedom?

[TablesandChairs]

It depends - on what he did wrong, how many times he did it, whether there have been genuine attempts at openness and transparency since then.

You're wrong, though - we don't necessarily carry trust issues into each and every subsequence relationship. I don't distrust my partner because he's never given me any reason to. If he cheated tomorrow, that would change drastically.

[PimonratC]

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Everythings gonna be alright.

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(^_^)






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[kkrls]

Trust to me is the grounding for any relationship. People screw up, time and time again and if you can't forgive and forget your only option is to move on! If you keep resurrecting old ground then you kill yourself along with your partner.

I keep trying to explain this to him, and I completely understand this. I know I keep living in the past and that will just burden the relationship and bring hurt to both of us...I am one of those who hardly even trust to begin with let alone loosing it. I told him when we first got together, I warned him that if I loose trust there is no getting it back.

- - - Updated - - -

It depends - on what he did wrong, how many times he did it, whether there have been genuine attempts at openness and transparency since then.

He did it over and over for a long while, after knowing he was hurting me he was just thinking I would not find out. But not recently. Recently he has been real sweet and everything but I cant help but think maybe he is just better at hiding... even if not I still have a hard time letting go of the past and I will always expect something or hold it against him

[breathe123]

It's never worth it and never works without trust, when trust is gone or can't be rebuilt move on.