boyfriend and escorts

[kkrls]

Now, about 10 months ago I was on my boyfriends computer just to go on facebook and non sense. I went to click the back button and it popped up most recently viewed and "I seen metro Detroit escorts" (we by the way live in metro Detroit) and it bothered me like why would you look at those ads. IT bothered me for a good month until I broke down and looked at his phone while he was asleep and found out he had called one.. I confronted him eventually and he denies seeing them says he just texts them to mess with them and not show up because they get mad blah blah blah. Says he would stop. Awhle later I found a picture of a girls breasts in his phone. He admits it was from a escort but he didn't realize he kept it but it was saved. He said he only got it because they say they wont send pictures but he got her to send one. Says he would stop.
Still I continually found him calling them. And eventually found he was looking up directions to a hotel and random areas. Which clearly were for escorts.
Now if he were just "messing with them" why would he keep doing it and go as far as getting directions. I think he was too tempted. He said he was thinking about it but didn't go. But how am I supposed to know what had actually happened. He has lied so many times right to my face. And not to mention the hotel was quite close to his house...The last time he has done anything it has been months but its to the point where I still think about it a lot. I bring it up and used it against him. I check his phone and computer...essentially have became someone I never wanted to be in a relationship. I don't think he would actually go to one but then again I never thought he would do this in the first place. I now view him differently than before. I just don't know what to think...we have been together for a year and a half and the last year has pretty much been me dealing with this crap and being unhappy on and off. He really has been different lately but its me I am worried about. I cannot let it go because well I got hurt a lot, lost trust and quite frankly I cannot let it go. I feel disgusted and well I feel like he see's women as sex objects.
Theres also been a couple other things I found out he was making fake dating websites and talking to women...over and over. After he said he would stop he kept doing it. I have also found out he has been on dirty camera chat websites. And when we were in public I found him looking at women a lot.
I just feel like he has a weird obsession with women

[katyk]

Hi infobot, These websites have a lot to answer for don't they? Many people are curious and may have the odd peep or two but know that reality is the woman or man they have in their life. When it becomes an obsession uh oh....its alarm bells ringing. What you have to decide is: IF your man was merely curious OR if it has become compulsive viewing! This is nothing new if you think about it....for decades men have been reaching for the top shelf books in newsagents (by that I mean the porno) and hiding from their partners. The only difference is nowadays they are real people on real screens with a chance of actually hooking up! If your man cannot be honest about what he is doing on computer then I would say you need to be worried. IF its a bit of titilation, nothing he would pursue then he will be open about it! Its your call whether you accept or not

[Wakeup]

You've been with him a year and a half but the last year has been you sticking around and excusing his inappropriate behaviour (for someone in a committed relationship), lying and skulldouchery. Is that correct?

What the fvck keeps you there?

[michelle23]

Sounds like he has an addiction to these sites. He does this every chance he gets and is constantly lying and doing crap he shouldn't be doing. Hes a creep. It reminds me of this dude on dr phil who had a sex addiction. It got so out of control he started stalking women and even became sexually interested in his 2year old daughter. These things can spin out of control so fast. They get bored of one thing and it leads to something more severe each time. Hence why it went from online to pictures to escorts to hotel directions.. hes needing more stimulation to feed his fantasies. Its become an obsession.

You should leave him and find someone normal. I find it hard to believe you are still there after all this. Why are your standards so low? No self respecting woman would put up with this. Where is your sense of self worth?

Your right. Women are objects to him and he wont change so why are you still there?

You do know that he could just be covering his tracks better.. deleting history, secret phone. I highly doubt he just stopped doing it. Hes too deep into it to just stop

[kkrls]

. You should leave him and find someone normal. I find it hard to believe you are still there after all this. Why are your standards so low? No self respecting woman would put up with this. Where is your sense of self worth?

Honestly im not sure, I guess I just feel really low about myself in general, that's probably another reason. I'm so attached. I've dealt with depression on and off for 6 years and I am just scared to be alone, scared to having no one. Scared ill never find anyone, I know it sounds sad. And I know I need to work on it in order to ever be happy. I have to learn to accept myself before anything else.
I mean this shit has made me someone I really don't want to be. Something as simple as going out to dinner in public bothers me because well other women are around. Ive turned into a extremely insecure and jealous person. I have turned into that girlfriend that goes through his phone when he is asleep, which I'm ashamed of but I cannot help it. I will lay there thinking about everything and eventually it gets to me. He has also before made fake profiles on a dating website and talked to girls, the weird part is it wasn't his real name and no pictures. But it bothered me and I confronted him once again he said he would stop but I kept finding out he would go back on or make a new one.
He has not done either lately, well from what I can tell and he really seems like he has changed but I just cant get out of the past and stay hurt and continue to bring it up and fight about it... But I did break up with him yesterday, but I'm having a hard time. Idk I am quite embarrassed about this subject, you all probably think I'm crazy for sticking around after something like this. But I keep wondering if I made the right decision. He seem so hurt, blowing up my phone and what not. He even balled his eyes out, ive never seen a grown man cry like that. But I'm going to try and move on, focus on myself for once. I cannot stand hurting anyone, but I deal with so much...
Thanks for your replies and efforts

[dickriculous]

I just feel like he has a weird obsession with women

That's called being straight and having a normal sex drive.

But if you found out that he was planning on meeting them at hotels and shit then he either has cheated on you already or will in the near future. So unless you're okay with being...whatever you would call the female version of a cuckold then yeah, this should have been over already.