I Really Admire This Girl but Don't Understand the Situation?! // girls plz help?

[Xanda]

Please help me girls. I'm 16(and a bit) and there's this girl I have a big crush on. My prime issue here is that I'm struggling to tell what facial/body language is going on and my other segment of the issue is that I only see her as frequently as bumping into her.

I've only really ever said hello to her. She seems a bit shy and I feel like I've maybe given away signals of anxiety and liking her, I have little idea of what she thinks about me. Conversations don't really begin anywhere because we only really laugh and smile at each other. I find it hard to brake the ice when I remember some of the mistakes I made when talking to other new people and startling them which I'm trying my best not to repeat.

I didn't adore her prettiness at a first straight glance, she was in one of my subjects briefly. She'd often turn right round in class to look at me while I talked which she eventually stopped doing and made a couple of funny jokes about a couple of mistakes I made. I'd often laugh and say "Whoops, scuse me" if I left something behind when I made eye contact.

The first time I introduced myself to her was at the bus stop, she seemed really happy but shy at the same time like she was excited I was talking to her and was quickly looking for a distraction to avoid eye contact, she went off to sit down on a bench after telling me her name.

A pretty unfortunate moment came when a different girl asked me out in the cafeteria which the girl I fancied was also sitting in. I said I needed to time to decide and ended up showing her I wasn't interested. Of course the girl I had a crush on may not have seen any of this and her eye contact was my imagination.

After the teacher discouraged a load of pupils (including myself) about a third of the class dropped out of the subject including her, so I didn't really see much of her after that. Two weeks later I saw her standing with a couple of friends and said hello remembering her name from the previous weeks, she turned round and gave me a warm smile which made my day.

The following day I was at the bus stop the same time by coincidence, a friend talked (shouted) to me from the other side of the road and I suddenly saw her sitting back with her earphones in. Until it was time to get on the public bus we didn't approach each other even then, when we caught a slight eye contact she sounded as though she said a faint hello which I wasn't sure if it was directed at me but I said a faint hello back (as I felt a little anxious to start a conversation). Apart from that we pretty much ignored each other, she went to the top deck and I stayed on the bottom as i did not want to give the impression I was pursuing her. She coincidentally gets off the same stop as I did and I felt a little dumb to hurry off onto my path without saying a goodbye. I was very annoyed by my failure to make use of a good opportunity.

I said hi as I passed her on my way back home another day but she couldn't hear me as she was listening to music and looking at her phone.

I mean I'm not at all trying to sound overly nitpicky or obsessed, I'm just interested and would like to perhaps get to know her as a friend. I find it hard to be friends in my other classes which are mostly boys because they're so immature and make vulgar jokes about women. I want to be the modest confident guy who has many likeable features, regards women well and hangs out with friends who are also mature which I think is the type of guy most girls like.

Thanks for reading my scenario and I look forward to your advice! :-)

[Ditapage]

From the sound of it, it's really eating you up and driving you insane because eventually thinking too much/overanalysis will cause you to see things that aren't actually there, or not see things that are there, and as hard as it is, my advice would be to stop thinking and take action. Stop avoiding her and ask her out. Girls have come to expect a guy to do that. We have conversations like "he stares at me, he's all nervous around me and he won't ask me out!" It's frustrating. We never think he's analyzing our behavior and body language, we just think "men are supposed to tell you they like you" and we got it from books such as "he's just not that into you" that made woman feel stupid for ever pursuing men!

You said "i did not want to give the impression I was pursuing her." I say why the hell not?! As someone who recently had this attitude and is now completely heartbroken, it's much better to be honest and open about your feelings for someone than obsessively wonder what things would be like if you weren't a coward. Nobody enjoys rejection but its 5 seconds compared to the pain and misery of not going after what you love and wondering how different things would be if you had've.

She could meet somebody who will tell her how he feels. And when you miss that chance, trust me, it's hell.

[Xanda]

From the sound of it, it's really eating you up and driving you insane because eventually thinking too much/overanalysis will cause you to see things that aren't actually there, or not see things that are there, and as hard as it is, my advice would be to stop thinking and take action. Stop avoiding her and ask her out. Girls have come to expect a guy to do that. We have conversations like "he stares at me, he's all nervous around me and he won't ask me out!" It's frustrating. We never think he's analyzing our behavior and body language, we just think "men are supposed to tell you they like you" and we got it from books such as "he's just not that into you" that made woman feel stupid for ever pursuing men!

You said "i did not want to give the impression I was pursuing her." I say why the hell not?! As someone who recently had this attitude and is now completely heartbroken, it's much better to be honest and open about your feelings for someone than obsessively wonder what things would be like if you weren't a coward. Nobody enjoys rejection but its 5 seconds compared to the pain and misery of not going after what you love and wondering how different things would be if you had've.

She could meet somebody who will tell her how he feels. And when you miss that chance, trust me, it's hell.

I know what you're saying but I haven't talked her as a friend, even if she didn't mind someone she didn't know well asking her out it would still be unwise for me to do so without being friends first. Someone may be shinier than jewel, but if their personality isn't that great then things won't work out that well.

In England a lot of young people are very unopen and it's fortunate for me that I'm able to say hi to her by her name. I'll take your advice and won't hesitate to talk to her but until that happens I don't feel the scenario is right for me to ask her. I think I'd have a much better chance then. If someone else takes her before then or has already then it's not the end of the world. We can still be friends and that's more important regardless of how I feel about her.

[pcmaster]

I like how you handled some situations - like a real man Xanda.

Obviously Im not a girl but still can give you good advice. For young guys like you I have created guide that can make your effords with girls more effective so getting better results and more chances.

Check it out !

loveforum.net/the-relationship-news-and-articles/85674-guide-interacting-girls.html

and the same link if you can see it

[url]https://www.loveforum.net/the-relationship-news-and-articles/85674-guide-interacting-girls.html[/url]

[lovelife123]

hmm. hard to know sometimes