Does she like me ? Am I friend zoned ? Most confusing time of my life.. Please help.

[Smooth119]

Hello ladies this is my first post on this website hope you all are doing well and thank you for taking your time out your day to read this.
I am 23 years old male and have dealt with women and I know pretty well when a woman is interested in you based on how they act, but for this one time in my life I am sooooo confused, I asked my friends and they just tell me don't think too much into it and just play it by ear. But I just need some people's opinions on how to go about this. Well here's the story.

¶ So I met this girl on Facebook because she had mutual friends of mine, many a matter of fact and she went to the same college as me, but I just never had the opportunity to actually meet here. Anyway after some weeks of talking via Facebook i got her number. We talked for a few weeks via text and it was very slow communication was slow at first but then we started face timing and things picked up a little. She told me she was not really looking for a relationship and that she is kinda of talking to another guy and that we could just be friends, that was the first sign where I was ok damn I am in the friend zone. I backed off a little bit but then a few days later I actually talked to her and told her how i felt about her, like I can't like i really like this chick. But anyway so after that she was like "damn you really got me thinking now" and also stated "lets just see how hints go lets not force nothing" and I was like ok I'm cool with that (this is still all via text we haven't met at this point). So then we continued on texting and it was pretty moderate but not much, we would FaceTime sometime as well.

¶ A month past of straight texting then she hit me up asking if i wanted to meet up to grab some food and I was like of course, we met up ate and it was great laughed, smiled, all that i paid for the food cuz thats just how i was raised I guess. This is where things get weird, immediately after that dinner the texting went up 10x more than before. She was texting me in the morning, texting,calling,face timing on her break of work and on her way to work and when she got off and before she went to bed pretty much everyday and we even went to the movies a few days afterwards. Then at the movies i tried grabbing her hand and she was acting stiff I tried putting my hand around her stiff again, well eventually she was like "do you wanna hold my hand?" then she let me hold it by the end of the movie I was playing with her hair and all the typical things lol, nothing serious tho.. We went to eat afterwards and that was good as well and then when we got back to my place I gave her a hug and jokingly asked for a kiss and she gave me one.. So in my mind I am like "finally BINGO"...

¶ Well NO, so i asked her later on how she felt about holding her hand and kiss and all that and she was like "you shouldn't ask for such things it shud just happen naturally" then she goes on saying how if i want to move further as friend then we won't work and that "at this point I don't see u romantically" so I'm a little hurt of that but i brush the dirt off and I just tell her If you don't see me that way its fine, Im not the type of guy to not be your friend because you don't like me.

¶ Anyway after that she still calls me all the time face times me all the time. And tonight I recently found out this guy she "talks to" all they do is just hangout they don't even have sex not that that matters but if thats the case what makes this dude any different than me? I don't know ladies I am confused of the situation on what I should do. I like her and just have a feeling maybe one day she'll really see I'm a good dude and give me a shot or start liking me, even a little bit of me thinks that she's testing me and that this guy she "talks to" is actually ME.. Because ladies she talks to me so much to where I don't see how she got time to talk to another guy.. Please help me ladies any advice or opinions would work. What should I do ? Am I just a friend, possibly more ? Idk Feel free to let it all out I need as many Point of views as possible.

[katyk]

Listen to your mates dude; go with the flow to see where it pans out. Don't overthink what your moves would be and don't be instantly 'available'. Sometimes this little ole thing called 'chemistry' is missing for one. Its nothing you can do anything about, it just happens; just as when there IS chemistry you will know. You don't have to sit an analyse whether you should kiss her, hold her hand or any of that. Let her make a move and if she doesn't then take it she doesn't want to! You clearly want a relationship but it should come naturally and many many times friends turn into lovers but...not always! Another thought, she may feel too pressurised? Like I said....take things a bit slower and stop worrying.

[Smooth119]

Listen to your mates dude; go with the flow to see where it pans out. Don't overthink what your moves would be and don't be instantly 'available'. Sometimes this little ole thing called 'chemistry' is missing for one. Its nothing you can do anything about, it just happens; just as when there IS chemistry you will know. You don't have to sit an analyse whether you should kiss her, hold her hand or any of that. Let her make a move and if she doesn't then take it she doesn't want to! You clearly want a relationship but it should come naturally and many many times friends turn into lovers but...not always! Another thought, she may feel too pressurised? Like I said....take things a bit slower and stop worrying.

Your right Katyk, I need to just chill.. I just think the fact that i really like her and the way she is acting is different for me.. I won't lie Katyk I never had a problem pursuing a woman I like and I am pretty good at reading signs that they like me but with her its like she shows the signs but her words clearly are being stated that "i don't see you like that only as a friend" she saids that but continues to still call me and stuff so its just something I'm not use to.. Maybe thats how she treats her male friends, for me I have female friends i just don't text them everyday thats all... Pretty much the ball is in her park I just gotta sit back and let her make the moves if she ever does if not i will just have to take it for what it is and be her friend.. Am I correct now ? lol

[belltops]

Could you for crissakes split your write-up into paragraphs to make it easier to read!!

Jeez

[Smooth119]

I apologize i wrote this on my phone. let me go and edit this now for you.. Please let me know what you think afterwards

Could you for crissakes split your write-up into paragraphs to make it easier to read!!

Jeez

[belltops]

She feels pressured?? That is a load of crap....
She hits you up, asks you out, facetimes and all but when you develop feelings and decide to act on it, someone is insinuating she is feeling pressured.

Look dude, never allow yourself to be friend-zoned. Better have some balls and draw the line. No one is saying that you should be a jerk, but do not be readily available for her own pleasure.
If she needs a play-thing, she should hang-out with her GIRL FRIENDS. Its one thing when both sides are not emotionally attached, then the friend thing can work, not when one side is hoping for some love and the other is playing the puppeteer. For all we know, she could be waiting for some other crush to ask her out....

Sit up

[Smooth119]

She feels pressured?? That is a load of crap....
She hits you up, asks you out, facetimes and all but when you develop feelings and decide to act on it, someone is insinuating she is feeling pressured.

Look dude, never allow yourself to be friend-zoned. Better have some balls and draw the line. No one is saying that you should be a jerk, but do not be readily available for her own pleasure.
If she needs a play-thing, she should hang-out with her GIRL FRIENDS. Its one thing when both sides are not emotionally attached, then the friend thing can work, not when one side is hoping for some love and the other is playing the puppeteer. For all we know, she could be waiting for some other crush to ask her out....

Sit up

Haha now thats more like it! Thats what happened last night, like I told her straight up how it is and then she got mad. She was like then I should just "fall back" meaning she won't bother me as much because of the fact I want more thank friends... And this is off topic but similar to what you said.. Last night she was with her girls and they were out drunk and she face timed me drunk talking and she was in underwear and all that and I was thinking in my head like "what the ****" then she goes on talking to her friends and they are talking bout some very explicit stuff, basically about vibrators and how they use them and she said some things that kinda made me look at her differently lol (naughty) like maybe thats all she want is someone to play with... The next day we talked about the convos and she remembered too and then i jokingly made a statement bout me replacing the Vibrator and at first she laughed bout it and asked me go more into details but then she got mad and stopped talking to me for a few hours, I know that may be dumb on my behalf but I'm not just gonna sit here and be friend zoned and just sit there and talk sexual conversations and her end up bringing up some other dudes...now she is back talking to me but is kinda replying a little slower.

I'e haven't allowed myself to fall victim of just being a friend but it seems like thats all she is accepting, so the decision is more so in my hands. I don't know if just riding it out will only make me be hurt when she find someone she likes and then just stop talking to me because thats how shit usually happens..I just kinda had enough, she knows my intention but continues to lead me as if she likes me... If she has ANY interest in me like she shows with all the calling and shit then she should show it.. And if she doesn't have interest then I don't see how you could just talk to a friend so much its weird. She would just need to fall back without me bringing it up... What you think Belltops?

[belltops]

What i said earlier on is simple to understand the situation of things.

The ball is in your court.

Do you want to be "friend-zoned" and be her hangout buddy?

or do you want to have some self-respect and decide your fate. Simply start avoiding some of her calls, or when she wants to facetime you, do not accept. Just say you are busy and have stuff to do. After a while, this would make her realize if she needs you or not. She may ask why you are avoiding her calls and all that, re-state your reasons for distancing yourself, that you want more than friendship.
If she does not ask you why you are not always available, then atleast, you know that she never liked you and that way, you can move on as quick as possible with some self-respect.

[Smooth119]

What i said earlier on is simple to understand the situation of things.

The ball is in your court.

Do you want to be "friend-zoned" and be her hangout buddy?

or do you want to have some self-respect and decide your fate. Simply start avoiding some of her calls, or when she wants to facetime you, do not accept. Just say you are busy and have stuff to do. After a while, this would make her realize if she needs you or not. She may ask why you are avoiding her calls and all that, re-state your reasons for distancing yourself, that you want more than friendship.
If she does not ask you why you are not always available, then atleast, you know that she never liked you and that way, you can move on as quick as possible with some self-respect.

I will take your advice, thank you for telling me..

[lovelife123]

everyone please let's not fight.

[Smooth119]

everyone please let's not fight.

huh ? who's fight ?

[Vinya S]

Sounds like she wants attention but doesn't want to commit.

Don't just ignore her calls, flat out tell her that you like her. You two have talked enough that she should know you well enough to decide if she wants to take it further or not. If so, great, if not, you need to focus your attention elsewhere. Go on dates with other people. So long as you maintain as much contact with this girl as you do, it will be tough for the next girl to accept that you have a female friend who you see in their underwear and chat every day multiple times a day with. It's Ok to stay friends but don't ruin your chances of a relationship with anyone.