My girl thinks I am not over an old ex, and that my commitment is not 100% to her

[tomcochrane]

Anyone? Can anyone else tell Tom what this sounds like?

Tom C,

While I applaud you your efforts of attempting to maintain a happy demeanor without the prescription, I must again tell you, your Dr. prescribed them for a REASON.
Now I am not a G.P however I do know it is unsafe to go on them, then go off them, back on, so forth, so on. Even if it's just a few days worth and then nothing, No. Not cool.

You say her Family is dealing with tragedy right now and she tells you "well we don't need antidepressants" Well good for her. Her brain is not your brain, nor the sisters.
Our inner neurotransmitters and synapse charges are all wired slightly different and she needs to get this. Interfering with your medication regime is not cool.
It is none of her business. If she can't grasp that these meds are not street drugs or painkillers but medication to help you so you don't need to be thinking about the past drugs, why then would she have a problem. Seems really odd to me.

But you seem rather gob smacked by this lady. I can only hope you get back on and stay on the full length of your meds and continue your path back to yourself. If you took a few and feel better, isn't that your answer right there. Their working. Figure it out.

This is your life. Yours. She wants a confident man? Poppy cocks. She wants to be able to control a man. That's what this sounds like I'm sorry to say man but It really does. Call her bluff. Get back and stay on the meds. Let them help you. The groggy won't last long. She won't even be able to tell by the time she returns and frankly, when she asks, it's none of her flippin business.

I wish you well. get back on and stay on the meds and if you don't, man, you need to talk to your Dr first. It is not safe to mess with the chemical balances in your brain. Get it and get it good.

sorry for the tough approach but something tells me you need a tough older sister here and I'm more than happy to, after all the words we've exchanged, to offer my anonymous cosmic what for.

Thanks woody. I am feeling ok. The dose im on at the mo is a standard dose for insomnia, not depression. They initially prescribe that though to see if you cope with the meds, ive known people on 15mg solely for sleep, so I am safe from serotonin depletion/syndrome. The serotonergic effects don't kick in till 30mg and the sleepy groggyness wears off; it works paradoxically by the serotonin kicking in on 30mg and drowsyness wearing off on the higher dose. I'm supposed to be upgraded to 30mg today, so theoretically I could do that myself as my old doc who I was supposed to see today but couldn't, doesnt know that I've been given 28 x 15mg by hospital on sunday (though have 31 tabs from not taking last few days) as she is not my new gp, I registered today with new gp but won't get an appointment till at least two weeks, my registration is Dec 31st. So I have enough to last till then even if taking 2x15 for the next 15 days.

But apart from yesterday I haven't taken since sat night.
My Gf would not be happy about me hiding it from her or even telling her im still using, then she would say I lied that I quit, and it is lying. Though yes if i consistently took 30mg from now I would be fine in 2-3 weeks) or my consumption. she believes I do not need them and with 4 days out my system I'm starting to see that is probably correct too. I no longer have family stress (they were pissed I was taking them too as after seeing me on drugs for years they did not lke it one bit) or girlfriend stress, I think is ok to jump off from the sleeping tablet dose, but I will take your advice with gratitude and do some research and try to speak on the phone to a doctor on a 111 number out of hours GP.

On another note that girl has been texting me tonight wanting to meet for a chat and a drink. I always thought we were just chatting, i normally notice the signals, (but was caught off guard this time but apparently she wants more and said I know I don't have any chance with you - whats all that about? That I'm some kind of god?!). I've made it very clear I'm involved with someone else but will still meet her for a drink. I won't cheat ever. She also knows all my drug problems too! I rarely drink, and might not drink tomorrow.

Why do all these women want me? My parents call me drug addict scum!
Jèeeeeez.....

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Anyone? Can anyone else tell Tom what this sounds like?
If she can't grasp that these meds are not street drugs or painkillers but medication to help you so you don't need to be thinking about the past drugs, why then would she have a problem

She was* a social worker for rehab (where they totally get you off EVERYTHING unless in v.v.serious cases. This is an abusable anti-d (one of the few) before rehab while dating and getting on very well, she was not happy that my doc gave me valium to cope with the anxiey of going there and said after rehab dont take diazepam if your doctor offers it anymore! This is a similar echo of that. She doesn't see it that way at all and says I should abstain from even paracetamol (or acetiminophen whatever you guys call it).
Yet the irony is that she will have a drink with me because it was never my problem, and we drink together, just a couple but amount doesn't matter. And anti depressants were never my problem! Trying to get my head around that! Is twisting my melon!

Thanks for being older sis, I have younger one but we don't speak. That goes for my parents too as they kicked me out on monday, I'm alone! Except for a few good friends and my landlord funnily enough, is like a second father always looking out for me. Living alone is the Easiest but also sometimes most dangerous when it comes to addiction (and not working I cant yet)

I do plenty of walking around London to keep myself busy, is a huge city. Full of drugs though. Also other better things to do here though too

My father will be surprised how I picked myself up from hospital, packed bags, hostel for 3 nights, moved in on 3rd. Sorted almost EVERYTHING. He thought I had no money but I receieved a lot in back payments and save whilst at theres.
I have £2000
Pay £300 rent a month for my own studio apartment,
I receive £850 from state welfare/housing benefits per month and all healthcare including hospital visits, doctors are free for everyone. scripts and dentists are free for me, as I'm on benefit. I am entitled to it as Ive been a working full time taxpayer for 14 years. I would still be entitled even if I never worked, but I want a career when I am ready (Though a life on benefits is probably easier! But I have ambitions)
My dad thinks I get £70 a week and have no money. Wrong! I didn't tell him because he would have made me pay him, when I was just biding my time living rent free all inclusive. I think he expects a phone call in a few days asking for help, as he thinks i am skint...but he wont be receiving one, I am capable of standing on my own two feet. Last monday he left me in the hospital with nowhere to go. I got the tube to a hostel, was allowed to come back home, pack my bags only then taken back to hostel for the night, moved next day, now secure, all i need

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Anyone? Can anyone else tell Tom what this sounds like?
If she can't grasp that these meds are not street drugs or painkillers but medication to help you so you don't need to be thinking about the past drugs, why then would she have a problem

She was* a social worker for rehab (where they totally get you off EVERYTHING unless in v.v.serious cases. This is an abusable anti-d (one of the few) before rehab while dating and getting on very well, she was not happy that my doc gave me valium to cope with the anxiey of going there and said after rehab dont take diazepam if your doctor offers it anymore! This is a similar echo of that. She doesn't see it that way at all and says I should abstain from even paracetamol (or acetiminophen whatever you guys call it).
Yet the irony is that she will have a drink with me because it was never my problem, and we drink together, just a couple but amount doesn't matter. And anti depressants were never my problem! Trying to get my head around that! Is twisting my melon!

Thanks for being older sis, I have younger one but we don't speak. That goes for my parents too as they kicked me out on monday, I'm alone! Except for a few good friends and my landlord funnily enough, is like a second father always looking out for me. Living alone is the Easiest but also sometimes most dangerous when it comes to addiction (and not working I cant yet)

I do plenty of walking around London to keep myself busy, is a huge city. Full of drugs though. Also other better things to do here though too

My father will be surprised how I picked myself up from hospital, packed bags, hostel for 3 nights, moved in on 3rd. Sorted almost EVERYTHING. He thought I had no money but I receieved a lot in back payments and save whilst at theres.
I have £2000
Pay £300 rent a month for my own studio apartment,
I receive £850 from state welfare/housing benefits per month and all healthcare including hospital visits, doctors are free for everyone. scripts and dentists are free for me, as I'm on benefit. I am entitled to it as Ive been a working full time taxpayer for 14 years. I would still be entitled even if I never worked, but I want a career when I am ready (Though a life on benefits is probably easier! But I have ambitions)
My dad thinks I get £70 a week and have no money. Wrong! I didn't tell him because he would have made me pay him, when I was just biding my time living rent free all inclusive. I think he expects a phone call in a few days asking for help, as he thinks i am skint...but he wont be receiving one, I am capable of standing on my own two feet. Last monday he left me in the hospital with nowhere to go. I got the tube to a hostel, was allowed to come back home, pack my bags only then taken back to hostel for the night, moved next day, now secure, all i need

[woody]

Yes, interesting she's fine drinking with you yet has this aversion to meds; and even if your feeling better off them, I agree with you, you still need to get into the Dr.

And uh, as far as this other lady goes saying things like, "I know I can't get you" gee man, it's obvious she'd like more and your having a drink with her? I don't think your present lady friend would like that too much. Different if just a friend but this girl being quite obvious she's crushing on you.

If I were you, I'd be more concerned lying about the other lady and drinks with over the med thing. Still, your call man.

The main thing is your getting back to yourself and doing well by the sounds of it. Good on you. Keep up the good work; you got your own place, your going for more walks, dealing with Dr's and staying proactive.

Just beware of diva's trying to get a grip on you okay? When a lady drops hints, it isn't cool to lead her on for if you do, things could get quite messy. Love triangles seldom work well

[tomcochrane]

Yes, interesting she's fine drinking with you yet has this aversion to meds; and even if your feeling better off them, I agree with you, you still need to get into the Dr.

And uh, as far as this other lady goes saying things like, "I know I can't get you" gee man, it's obvious she'd like more and your having a drink with her? I don't think your present lady friend would like that too much. Different if just a friend but this girl being quite obvious she's crushing on you.

If I were you, I'd be more concerned lying about the other lady and drinks with over the med thing. Still, your call man.

The main thing is your getting back to yourself and doing well by the sounds of it. Good on you. Keep up the good work; you got your own place, your going for more walks, dealing with Dr's and staying proactive.

Just beware of diva's trying to get a grip on you okay? When a lady drops hints, it isn't cool to lead her on for if you do, things could get quite messy. Love triangles seldom work well

Ha....
I would never go out with the girl from my drug service.
I told my current love that I got asked out, I was honest!
My girl didn't care cos I told her I was involved (she like that honesty, more later)....but would be a friend to her still.

My girl is going canada tues for 2 weeks is the plan but doesn't know as things may get worse and her sister may die at any minute. Her family is her priority over anything at the moment
My girl and I spoke I texted till she had to call me..
It started off as her saying 'well I didn't want to talk, so many people have been asking after me at work etc im fed up of talkimg bout it'
So we did change channel and one of the best conversations ever, reminiscing about all the times we shared, they were actually all good moments, laughing joking, we had such a fantastic chat about anything and everything and basically left it at: (her) Tom, I'm going to be so wound up with family commitments everything is all going to be put to one side for now. So we broke up basically. And its not cos of me its cos of the family strain she has in her life. Im glad i didnt do anything wrong, she remenisced on so many lovely moments it was so emotional, we talked about all the little things and how she had never found a man like me who she shared such passion with but she just couldnt have anyone in her life at the moment as she simply wouldnt be there at any given time. And we both dont want that, but cest' la vie.

Shs was in so many tears saying ive never experienced anything like I have with you. I was very gentlemamly, and understanding and she the sexual imtimacy was like nothing she ever experienced before. She also told me that we will speak after christms if she comes back. Her sis could even be dead by then, i pray that she gets to spend the two full weeks with her. She is putting everything else aside at the moment.

We have put it down to fate, I'm a free single man again, and plan to be one for a while to get to know himself but also one who is sad because he empathises with her and her sisters illness, my girl is in a state and doesn't know how much more she will be in one next year. The anti depressant thing was washed away, and no longer matters. Only the special times. We both agreed not to wait, she is certainly not on the lookout but once she finds herself in london again 2 wks or perhaps even months more she says the only guys door she'll be knocking on is mine, if I'm still single that is. I plan to be, but if another opportunity comes my way then If its worth it I will take it.
Alls well and ends well for us for now, but tragedy lurks at any corner for her sis.

With lots of reminiscant tears we have departed for the meantime, so she can sort out things with family. Shes so glad Im here I reckon. Someone she can turn to when in the uk, if im single and fate knocks then i may be there, but im living for me now and wishing her family well.

[tomcochrane]

[/QUOTE]
Just beware of diva's trying to get a grip on you okay? When a lady drops hints, it isn't cool to lead her on for if you do, things could get quite messy. Love triangles seldom work well[/QUOTE]

Yeah well I must seem to give off this mystical aurora or something to women hehe.
Maybe now its better I leave them be now I'm single again. She was crying so much last night when we broke up, I was tearful, in its own way the relationship was very special and true and she told me she trusted me tonight, though I said I love her and she said 'dont say that' even though she told me that before. She said if it wasn't for this situation with her sister, we'd probably still continue dating.

That's where I need to take a step back I think. Having a dying sister on the other side of the world launches a whole new ball game. I'm sad, and worried for her.
She noted I'm doing well in my life recently. Though ive had relapses I havent told her of, I'm still doing well but need to be doinf better.
There maybe chance for future reconcilation she's pretty clear on the fact that she doesn't want anyone else in her life to deal with at the mo.

Problem is I always need a woman or a drug or both, I don't want to ride a slippery slope.

[pcmaster]

Well since you single again you need something to keep yourself busy. Your story seems like a weird dream btw. Hope you both get together again. Take care man.

[tomcochrane]

Well since you single again you need something to keep yourself busy. Your story seems like a weird dream btw. Hope you both get together again. Take care man.

Its happened a couple times when things have had to end due to extenuating circumstances...I guess I'll be chatting up girls at bus stops again! I moved house. I'm further in the city, east london.
Love to see her again, she wished me well today.
See what happens.

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Well since you single again you need something to keep yourself busy. Your story seems like a weird dream btw. Hope you both get together again. Take care man.

Why like a weird dream? Cos its so different to other relationships? And her sister will die soon?
That's why it was so special...cos it was different, exciting, passionate, intimate..
Hope I see her or at least talk to her in a few weeks, strong, confident, my own flat now,
Dont know what to do for xmas..my family disbanded me :-(
P.s. I'm so much more busy downtown. Much more to do.

[pcmaster]

Thats cool that you have your own flat now. Could make a party and invite all your friends bet people party a lot in their homes in London because nightclubs are so expensive there. You know you live in big city so bet there will be a lot public gatherings happening on Christmas and new years eve.

I wonder how you chat up girls on bus stops what do you say to them.

Why like a weird dream? Cos its so different to other relationships? And her sister will die soon?

Yes you are right This relationships was different than others. I been on a forum for a while but this relationship was like romantic movie. Her sister only adds to drama.