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Thread: My girl thinks I am not over an old ex, and that my commitment is not 100% to her

  1. #46
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    This sounds like a troublesome relationship already considering that you have only been going out for a month or more. If indeed what you say is true, I don't see your relationship lasting very long unless your girlfriend can face the fact that she's got some issues herself.

    If I were you, I will leave her be and let her stew on a problem that doesn't exist. If she really loves you then she'll realize that this "three month cooling off period so you can get over your ex" is just so silly and childish.

  2. #47
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    Wait 3months for what? Thats ridiculous. Your either together or your not.. you have done what she wanted so don't wait around any longer for her. Tell her your not waiting for her-its now or never.

    She will never respect you if you let her call all the shots and string you along like a puppet. Be assertive and refuse to play these silly games
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    Quote Originally Posted by dontaskme View Post
    This sounds like a troublesome relationship already considering that you have only been going out for a month or more. If indeed what you say is true, I don't see your relationship lasting very long unless your girlfriend can face the fact that she's got some issues herself.

    If I were you, I will leave her be and let her stew on a problem that doesn't exist. If she really loves you then she'll realize that this "three month cooling off period so you can get over your ex" is just so silly and childish.
    Its been more than a month, I first met her in around April, dated in June, then I went to rehab for 3 months and its been a month after that this incident happened. She knows shes insecure etc, I know this is all crazy. Though we couldn't help but fall in love, when things are good they are really good. This is the only incident we've had, so annoying it comes to this, missed her in rehab now got to do it again. Yeah is probably best now I've said my piece but I kind of want to call her but think it is probably a bad idea? Might just have to wait till the 10th dec.,

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by michelle23 View Post
    Wait 3months for what? Thats ridiculous. Your either together or your not.. you have done what she wanted so don't wait around any longer for her. Tell her your not waiting for her-its now or never.

    She will never respect you if you let her call all the shots and string you along like a puppet. Be assertive and refuse to play these silly games
    She thinks I need 3 months to get over an old ex. Though I don't! I refuse and then it will be over whether she wants to or not she'll end it...just trying to win round her trust that I don't love anyone else. I've said so many times and texted her my true feelings after she told me she loved me (then said bye for 3 months! Yes that hurt) she even broke her own 'rule' rang me one week after telling me she missed me (this was prior to me texting my true feelings)
    So, as I made the last move I see nowhere else i can go till dec 10th when I have reason to contact her for her birthday. She believes whatever she wants to believe I can't convince her of anything, not with words anyway.

    Annoying thing is she trusts me with everything else just not the situation with ex.
    Last edited by tomcochrane; 23-11-14 at 03:02 AM.

  4. #49
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    You sound like a genuinely nice person but perhaps too nice for your own good - and it seems she knows this and is exploiting it. I'm sorry but you shouldn't need to cut a vein open in order to prove your love for - to be told to wait in limbo for 3 months is insulting. She says she's never been in love before - are you surprised? This kind of ball-breaking will have people run a mile. She ruins relationships before they even have a chance at becoming something.

    There are aspects to this that you're not considering - you've acknowledged your wrongs. Tick. You've corrected them. Tick. You're out of rehab (I'm not sure if it was drugs/alcohol) but I know one of the things they teach you is to take ownership. But they also teach self-forgiveness. Take those lessons and realise that you've done the former and not the latter and you're over-compensating and over-apologising. What you're not considering is that she has her own set of issues and unlike you, she hasn't acknowledged or addressed them. If she had, you would be together without this absurd waiting period.

    She's 30. As am I. I can't even relate to her childishness. The dating pool gets a lot smaller when you're a woman in your 30's but if you add being a ball-breaking brat on top of it, then she stands little chance of forming anything meaningful and long-lasting.

    You've done all you can do. The ball is in her court. Relax and try to focus on things that give you some joy, whatever they are and don't let this jeopardise your recovery because from what you've said - it's not you.

  5. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by TablesandChairs View Post
    You sound like a genuinely nice person but perhaps too nice for your own good - and it seems she knows this and is exploiting it. I'm sorry but you shouldn't need to cut a vein open in order to prove your love for - to be told to wait in limbo for 3 months is insulting. She says she's never been in love before - are you surprised? This kind of ball-breaking will have people run a mile. She ruins relationships before they even have a chance at becoming something.

    There are aspects to this that you're not considering - you've acknowledged your wrongs. Tick. You've corrected them. Tick. You're out of rehab (I'm not sure if it was drugs/alcohol) but I know one of the things they teach you is to take ownership. But they also teach self-forgiveness. Take those lessons and realise that you've done the former and not the latter and you're over-compensating and over-apologising. What you're not considering is that she has her own set of issues and unlike you, she hasn't acknowledged or addressed them. If she had, you would be together without this absurd waiting period.

    She's 30. As am I. I can't even relate to her childishness. The dating pool gets a lot smaller when you're a woman in your 30's but if you add being a ball-breaking brat on top of it, then she stands little chance of forming anything meaningful and long-lasting.

    You've done all you can do. The ball is in her court. Relax and try to focus on things that give you some joy, whatever they are and don't let this jeopardise your recovery because from what you've said - it's not you.
    Quote Originally Posted by TablesandChairs View Post
    You sound like a genuinely nice person but perhaps too nice for your own good - and it seems she knows this and is exploiting it. I'm sorry but you shouldn't need to cut a vein open in order to prove your love for - to be told to wait in limbo for 3 months is insulting. She says she's never been in love before - are you surprised? This kind of ball-breaking will have people run a mile. She ruins relationships before they even have a chance at becoming something.

    There are aspects to this that you're not considering - you've acknowledged your wrongs. Tick. You've corrected them. Tick. You're out of rehab (I'm not sure if it was drugs/alcohol) but I know one of the things they teach you is to take ownership. But they also teach self-forgiveness. Take those lessons and realise that you've done the former and not the latter and you're over-compensating and over-apologising. What you're not considering is that she has her own set of issues and unlike you, she hasn't acknowledged or addressed them. If she had, you would be together without this absurd waiting period.

    She's 30. As am I. I can't even relate to her childishness. The dating pool gets a lot smaller when you're a woman in your 30's but if you add being a ball-breaking brat on top of it, then she stands little chance of forming anything meaningful and long-lasting.

    You've done all you can do. The ball is in her court. Relax and try to focus on things that give you some joy, whatever they are and don't let this jeopardise your recovery because from what you've said - it's not you.
    Thank you. Sometimes I am too nice for my own good...she says im 'so sweet' and always tells me to 'stay excellent' and that no one has ever been like that with her and she loves it....thats why she told me I'm different and unique which is why everything till now has been so good. I'm a romantic, she loves that too....no one ever did things like I have done for her before. I wear my heart on my sleeve for sure. I never intended to hurt! I never would, never cheated in my life etc,..Though you are seeing this in me, she is seeing this unintentional mistake and then thinking....'perhaps he is just like all the others'. I get on great with women, capture their hearts, but then I don't know how to stop being to sweet or good natured because thats just me. I can't change who I am. That's why (although I'm doing it) I find it hard to not just call and say how I feel instead of waiting. Cos I am genuine, I don't want to hurt anyone. I feel bad that she felt that way and empathise. Though where can I draw the line at initially attracting them, making them feel great and then saying....No, I don't think thats right. Its cos im scared of losing someone I care about. So feel if i follow their rules for my unintentional mistake then all will be well This girl told me all the guys she dated before had ended up being arrogant w****** therefore her trust has drained. Then she meets me and falls in love because 'I'm different' but I've never in my life been able to find that fine balance. She will love her bday gifts...if she doesnt speak to me then, then theres something wrong.
    I can't change who I am....I get the girl easy, they fall for me, then I cant sustain things
    Its been a running pattern. Seems even without the drugs now.

    I was in rehab for drug addiction by the way.
    I appreciate all this help I am getting from people who don't even need to slend time on me, it means a lot.

    If only it was as easy as saying, 'look, this isn't doing either of us good, I'm over my ex a long time ago, I don't want to wait because I want to see you/speak to you now as I miss you!'

    This is what pisses me off about being with someone, for being honest you fear sounding desperate, and then she has her own perogatives and she is so stubborn, I'd have to dazzle her in some way to prove it. I just DONT KNOW anymore!
    X
    Last edited by tomcochrane; 23-11-14 at 05:55 AM.

  6. #51
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    Dear Tom,

    T&C has some good points and after reading some of your latest posts, I'm beginning to wonder about this ladies level of kindness. Maybe not kindness, but something.
    I was hoping she'd have contacted you by now. If she hasn't there's some form of manipulated power playing going on and that not nice either. Um, I'm sorry man. She should have called you by now and i'd hoped, dropped the nonsense of making you wait so long. I don't understand.
    I don't want you to feel badly about putting it all out there as that was the right thing to do. The adult thing to do. Now if only she could act like one too, you'd be getting somewhere.
    Hey, uh, ehem, I don't know what to say here. You were not desperate, you were someone who owned your actions and manned up. So that's good.
    I just don't get why she's continuing the torture unless, her character isn't as uh, mature as I thought. Sure, many ladies will put the brakes on when their hurting but after you reached out like you did and she continues the silence, well that's just poor form. So, I guess your learning allot about her true colors.

    I feel bad man, I gave you all this advice on how to open the connection again and she hasn't even replied.
    Are you sure she's as great as you think she is? I don't know.
    Just be thankful you did what you could and let the chips fall where they may
    Sorry Tom

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    Quote Originally Posted by woody View Post
    Dear Tom,

    T&C has some good points and after reading some of your latest posts, I'm beginning to wonder about this ladies level of kindness. Maybe not kindness, but something.
    I was hoping she'd have contacted you by now. If she hasn't there's some form of manipulated power playing going on and that not nice either. Um, I'm sorry man. She should have called you by now and i'd hoped, dropped the nonsense of making you wait so long. I don't understand.
    I don't want you to feel badly about putting it all out there as that was the right thing to do. The adult thing to do. Now if only she could act like one too, you'd be getting somewhere.
    Hey, uh, ehem, I don't know what to say here. You were not desperate, you were someone who owned your actions and manned up. So that's good.
    I just don't get why she's continuing the torture unless, her character isn't as uh, mature as I thought. Sure, many ladies will put the brakes on when their hurting but after you reached out like you did and she continues the silence, well that's just poor form. So, I guess your learning allot about her true colors.

    I feel bad man, I gave you all this advice on how to open the connection again and she hasn't even replied.
    Are you sure she's as great as you think she is? I don't know.
    Just be thankful you did what you could and let the chips fall where they may
    Sorry Tom
    You need not be sorry, you helped me a lot. I don't know anymore, suppose I will find out. Yes I did wrong. But surely situation should have been rectified a bit now. Stubborn is the word. Will see what happens when i send her bday present. If no contact then, well...i should move on. Yes, as someone said shes never been in love. Starting to see reasons why. Same time I am privelaged to be that guy.
    Bit sad/impatient/frustrated. Couldnt help it....

    And thats it...shes guarded her heart so long, even though the last thing she said was she missed me loved me, she can switch off. In a sense, no matter what, and be patient. I find it hard but thats cos ive been in love, unlike her....
    Last edited by tomcochrane; 23-11-14 at 08:40 AM.

  8. #53
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    Yes man, there could be reasons she's never been in love. Then she met you. Yet even after all that happened, and remember, it's not like you actually had relations with the ex and you've been more than clear about what did happen (and it is fairly innocent all in all) sooo, what then, is her problem? You've been forthright, honest, offered heart felt 'oops' on the whole 'talking to the ex' thing yet still, she lacks the courtesy to even talk to you.
    Perhaps there are bigger reasons she's been single so long.
    I know your hurting; that much is very clear. BUT, know what is reasonable and what is not and hold to it. If this lady is not for you then she's not which only means the Universe has someone else in mind for you.
    I wish you luck man. You've done all you can. If she can't see your a good guy, then that's on her and her loss.
    Last edited by woody; 23-11-14 at 09:03 AM.

  9. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by woody View Post
    Yes man, there could be reasons she's never been in love. Then she met you. Yet even after all that happened, and remember, it's not like you actually had relations with the ex and you've been more than clear about what did happen (and it is fairly innocent all in all) sooo, what then, is her problem? You've been forthright, honest, offered heart felt 'oops' on the whole 'talking to the ex' thing yet still, she lacks the courtesy to even talk to you.
    Perhaps there are bigger reasons she's been single so long.
    I know your hurting; that much is very clear. BUT, know what is reasonable and what is not and hold to it. If this lady is not for you then she's not which only means the Universe has someone else in mind for you.
    I wish you luck man. You've done all you can. If she can't see your a good guy, then that's on her and her loss.
    Ah, she thought as well as having feelings for ex i was making plans with the ex R.e. Apartment rental and me saying yes would be nice to visit, though like f*** I'm gonna go to mexico from uk and rent one of her apartments; though that bit is sort of forgotten she claims I need time to accept loss of ex, of which closure is complete. Shes engaged! Happy for her. Of course, read by the girl falling in love with me BIG DEAL! Wrong place, wrong time, but not deceitful. Wasnt something i was trying to hide, but lack of common sense right there. She'll wait til feb at least, shes firm on that, but if I think before that time its not right and it drags on til then perhaps maybe I'll think differently. Trying not to sound big headed but I'm a sweet, caring, loyal, romantic and affectionate guy and i push all her buttons....just one that had a lapse in thinking....she knows how genuine i am! Is why I struggle with why she wont believe its her I want. Then again, thats how she feels, insecurity. I cant make her feel any way, only she can do that, so I suppose its her problem she thinks that way....Even though I'm those things I won't be strung along for the sake of nothing. I've admitted my wrong doings.

    In any event, her bday present is adorable, its engraved silver vintage trinket box girly but I'd still love it haha...apart from the jewellery that comes with it hehe.... If she doesn't show at least gratefulness that I spent time, effort, wrote an accompanying letter, and obv money (the least important) and an understanding and trust in my feelings that I don't just send this type of gift to anyone or a 'second best' and still makes me wait till feb then a re thinking is needed on how this girl is treating me and how she will in future.
    Last edited by tomcochrane; 23-11-14 at 11:14 AM.

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    Anyone think I should text her before her birthday and say Can we talk, I need to speak with you? Then if she agrees try and say:

    'I'm over my ex and there's only one girl in my heart. You've said you'll give me a second chance, and I appreciate that, and own my mistake. If I'm sure I have something special with someone I would wait for them in circumstances where it was necessary, but I don't see how this is doing either of us any good. I won't feel any different about an ex then than I do now, because I haven't felt any emotional attachment to her for a long while, I just see that this wait is not serving any purpose other than just make us think about each other and miss each other seems rather futile. Though, If it's a punishment then I've certainly learnt a lesson by now for sure, and taken the action needed to fix things by cutting contact. Basically, if you have forgiven me for my mistake, and its only you and I, and you want me as much as I do you, then why do we need this wait? I'd like to be there to take you out for a special time to share in the moments of your birthday and christmas with the only person who is in my heart - you! I don't want to put you under pressure, but I'd rather not just sit and wait till feb, when I can be here sooner and prove my devotion is with you, but with actions, rather than words - because I miss you!'

    Something like that, I won't put pressure but at the same time I want it to be clear to her to know that is what I want. I'll prob word it a bit better. Should I do that and try call or just include it in the letter with her birthday present on Dec 10th and just hold tight till then? It may mean more with the special gifts, shell be a bit more buttered up by then . She definitely has control issues, and is so darn stubborn therefore may stick to her perogative if I just said it on the phone..Hmm.
    Serioisly, you guys must be so sick of me! I know I over analyse!

    That'll be my next move, if anyone thinks its right? To be honest I'm rather pissed off she hasn't text me back and acknowledged my feelings from my obvious meaningful texts where it was clear i was hurting 4 days ago, she used to get pissed off if I took more than 10-15 mins to text back saying I was playing a game and waiting. Now She's playing a game and being pretty disrespectful for not replying and a bit of a hypocrite! She'd hate it if I did that to her! She obviously wasnt annoyed with me texting, she would have told me so of that was the case. So maybe I should be prepared to expect that I may not get what I want, cos in her eyes im the 'bad man' not just someone who made a simple mistake and is trying to fix things.

    She's Polish and I don't like to stereotype but I had a few people tell me the other day 'Aye, no wonder she's like that!'

    Sorry for banging on and on!!
    Last edited by tomcochrane; 23-11-14 at 02:09 PM.

  11. #56
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    Ha ha shes polish. I was into polish girl too while living in Wales. It was crazy, now I wish I would never meet her. There was so much drama. For example from beginning she thought I don't like her and that I like our supervisor(hot girl). So she told supervisor that I like her and she started to thread me like a shit and make problems for me because she thought I like her and wanted to stop it when In fact I never liked her.

    I think you should try talk to your girl. But when you speak mention ex only once or don't mention at all because that could ruin her mood. Anyway if she is really insecure like you say then its the insecurity that kills relationship the most. How old is she btw, is she overweight?
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    Ha ha shes polish. I was into polish girl too while living in Wales. It was crazy, now I wish I would never meet her. There was so much drama. For example from beginning she thought I don't like her and that I like our supervisor(hot girl). So she told supervisor that I like her and she started to thread me like a shit and make problems for me because she thought I like her and wanted to stop it when In fact I never liked her.

    I think you should try talk to your girl. But when you speak mention ex only once or don't mention at all because that could ruin her mood. Anyway if she is really insecure like you say then its the insecurity that kills relationship the most. How old is she btw, is she overweight?
    She will be 30 on Dec 10th. Nope she is not overweight at all and she is absolutely stunning! Though she doesn't recognise this. She was flicking through some photos of the ex who is also pretty, a colombian girl; and said to me 'after her why have you downgraded and gone for a second hand model?'
    I couldn't believe she said it! This was just after we had an amazing intimate moment and we were laying in bed together. She has no reason to be insecure I find her so attractive, obviously that was the initial attraction right there, I just thought I've got to get this girl! Then we got on so well and she does have a unique, cool personality and I find her dry/blunt sense of humour great unlike anyone I'd ever met and that sealed the deal for me, she told me the same about me, that I am different and not like other men. We are complete opposites but that is what have made things so interesting and we have a great time chatting, just great everything, thats why we fell in love. A couple of dates down the line she started telling me about her issues. She just thinks that she is not good enough. She tells me her mother said that when she was younger - So I think some of it stems from that.

    I suppose why I am asking for so much advice is because I've had experience with many girls but never been with someone like this.
    I want to try talk...just ring or text and say I need to talk to you? Then again I was thinking wait till the 10th to do this, when there is all good reason for calling as its her birthday and after she's received my gifts. That way she'll be in a good mood, at least I hope. It would prob annoy me if I tried today and she didn't answer or told me she didn't want to talk.
    She's so scared of turning 30 so I'll have that to contend with too. I'm 30 next year, doesn't bother me one bit....

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by tomcochrane View Post
    Oh its dramatic alright! Part of the fun that is though, she will be 30 on Dec 10th. Nope she is not overweight at all and she is absolutely stunning! Though she doesn't recognise this and will sometimes say she is fat (I know a lot of girls do this though) she gets jealous of younger girls bodies. She says 'gosh, you must think I'm so fat when we are stripped down, and the funny thing is I'm not skinny, a little chubby but I don't care cos that's me, I'm not fat at all, but not toned - and she tells me I have a perfect body, and everything about me is so perfect! She thinks everyone will fancy me, even once said my counsellor - whom she has never met and is in her 60s. She was flicking through some photos of the ex who is also pretty, a colombian girl; and said to me 'after her why have you downgraded and gone for a second hand model?'
    I couldn't believe she said it! This was just after we had an amazing intimate moment and we were laying in bed together. She has no reason to be insecure I find her so attractive, obviously that was the initial attraction right there, I just thought I've got to get this girl! Then we got on so well and she does have a unique, cool personality and I find her dry/blunt sense of humour great unlike anyone I'd ever met and that sealed the deal for me, she told me the same about me, that I am different and not like other men. We are complete opposites but that is what have made things so interesting and we have a great time chatting, just great everything, thats why we fell in love. A couple of dates down the line she started telling me about her issues. She just thinks that she is not good enough. She tells me her mother said that when she was younger - So I think some of it stems from that.

    I suppose why I am asking for so much advice is because I've had experience with many girls but never been with someone like this.
    I want to try talk...just ring or text and say I need to talk to you? Then again I was thinking wait till the 10th to do this, when there is all good reason for calling as its her birthday and after she's received my gifts. That way she'll be in a good mood, at least I hope. It would prob annoy me if I tried today and she didn't answer or told me she didn't want to talk.
    She's so scared of turning 30 so I'll have that to contend with too. I'm 30 next year, doesn't bother me one bit.... I notice you are Latvian mate. I'm British, maybe you could shed some light on these easter european ladies! First time I've dated one!
    ..........

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    Well I haven't been with many girls to be honest main difference between British and for example Latvian people is that we Latvians are more reserved from beginning but later on really open up. maybe you noticed that my first post was a bit reserved. Really why I like Russian, polish girls more than British is because they kinda more natural, they don't try to be everyones friend and they say what they think. British girls are more open minded and used to take man role sometimes - for example if she like you you will know it, she will tell you or let you know other way, they not shy to ask for sex and for sure drinks more on weekends. In Latvia girls are more old-school behave a little better and are more passive. But this is just in general. Of course there is exceptions.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    Well I haven't been with many girls to be honest main difference between British and for example Latvian people is that we Latvians are more reserved from beginning but later on really open up. maybe you noticed that my first post was a bit reserved. Really why I like Russian, polish girls more than British is because they kinda more natural, they don't try to be everyones friend and they say what they think. British girls are more open minded and used to take man role sometimes - for example if she like you you will know it, she will tell you or let you know other way, they not shy to ask for sex and for sure drinks more on weekends. In Latvia girls are more old-school behave a little better and are more passive. But this is just in general. Of course there is exceptions.
    Ok...think some similarities there in what you say but to explain how she is:

    She's shy in public sometimes, but puts on a good confident act. I remember when I met her in a public place she was looking sheepish and then when we sat down away from people and talked she was fine. In the early days I was trying to find out if she had a boyfriend she said she didn't have time for one because of her job, though this is not the reason. She does have plenty of time, she doesn't have many friends, only 1 or 2 that she occassionally sees. She doesn't do much in her spare time, no real social life really. She never really goes out or does anything on the weekend. Meeting her only friend for a glass of wine is quite a big event to her. She never goes out to bars or clubs and never has more than 2 drinks, not a drinker at all. She likes to be independent. She told me it was all casual when we started dating and that she wanted some 'fun'. Not just sex but someone to go out with and do things with as well as she doesn't do that. It was all so exciting for her just being with someone and doing things. She does tell me deeply how she truly* feels in intimate moments. Then when her 'shield' is back on she says 'Oh I was being so soppy last night saying those things!'. We'd already been intimate relativey early into dating, she thought she could keep it casual but she couldn't. Nature couldn't help take over and it was unexpected to her thar she was falling in love. She has never had long relationships and was single for a year when I met her. Though she would Not* be forthright with her feelings in speech, she would show it in actions and also say things like 'its ok if you date someone else' as if to say we weren't becoming a couple. She would let me guess her feelings. Then things developed more and more and she couldn't hold it in amymore, ringing me all the time, texting saying shes missing me, it was all coming out. I knew she was getting in deeper than she thought.
    Eventually telling me she was always nervous before she meets me, and when doing things like driving, didn't ever want to embarrass herself in front of me etc...and intimate moments were not just sex, it was very meaningful, she would always tell me im amazing etc, couldnt believe that I'd want to be with her, still can't, told me she loved me for the first time just a few weeks ago, on the end of the bad day when she saw that message. though she had been for a little while. She said she shouldnt need to say it and that I should be able to tell from the look in her eyes recently. Projects a lot to the future, ifs buts and whats etc. All the actions of a girl who is extremely scared of getting hurt and insecure and finds it hard to say her true feelings and uses little white lies to stop her getting hurt when her shield is up....and I know her well enough to know her true side and her fake side (defence mechanism)..

    it went far further than she ever thought it would with her feelings, she says she doesnt need a man etc,., but she does want me, gets s bit jealous over small things, makes a drama like this incident, all in order to stop herself getting hurt, found it hard to say I love you, she whispered it to me, she's insecure and very scared of getting hurt, trusts no one but we built up trust and got to know each other so well. She now tells me she doesn't want fun, but someone she can settle down with, a long term relationship...with me. So from my small mistake shes put her shield up and making sure she can trust me, she told me of relationships that lasted a few weeks or months in her past but took her ages to get over.

    So basically, shes quite a delicate lady, who wants a lot of re assurance etc, who communicates deep feelings when in comfortsble situations, but otherwise is scared to admit to how she feels. Recently told me she could be her real self in front of me, and feels more comfortable with me than anyone else ever. Always telling me im perfect, sings my praises basically, but cant accept compliments.

    So what i can see her thinking now is that she wants to test my integrity, loyalty by using this situation of my mistake before she can open her heart even more to me than she has already. Shes never been this deep with someone in her life she told me, all because of her shield. But i broke through. At the same time shes using these three months because if i cheated and went with someone else now then it'll make it slightly quicker and easier to get over me, (though im not going to do that) than if she just instantly forgave me for my mistake and remaining with me and trusting that my ex contact was innocent. So basically she said im sitting waiting patiently for you till feb. I'll prove myself and make her feel better and re assured hopefully before then. She just needs to know its only her, and have the confidence in herself that I do have feelings for her. Shes very stubborn and even if missing me will refrain from ringing etc...tells me she often denies herself the things she wants in life. Though i know her little buttons now and what she loves, I'm confident, jist need her to feel confident too.
    Wow i waffled a lot again, hope that it makes sense and sums her up a bit, shes an interesting character, though not as complicated as she thinks she is I reckon (well, at least to me now that I know her pretty well I believe).
    Last edited by tomcochrane; 24-11-14 at 12:38 PM.

  15. #60
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,054
    Well thats a short response.

    Looks like you found a unpolished jewel there. No wonder you are okay to wait 3 months. Yeah good luck with patience. You will need it. Hit gym or something till then.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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