why is my boyfriend behaving so weird latelly?

[lilly2015]

Im in a relationship for 4 years.Although our age difference is big (Im 35 and he is 24),and his friends are against our relationship,even my mom,we want to be together.We already talked about marriage (he Asked me what kind of marriage i would like) and in having 4 Kids. He is in his Last year of law university degree. He will make his Last exam in spring of 2015. I told him that i can give him time if he needs for his studies but he said i shouldnt worry that i will change his life too early and even said he is ready to have children. The problem is that in the Last 2 days his behaviour changed. He said we should meet and that it was very very important and that we Are very close to be happy together and that After this meeting we will. But today he behaved very distant when we talked. Like he was avoiding me or distracted,althought he called me dear,honey. He said he needed to sleep and After it he Stayed 30 minutes more online What i should think of this??? Any advices are welcome

[Wakeup]

I think he had to be "This" tall to ride that ride.

[basilandthyme]

Hon, you've been with him for four years, but you can't talk about a concern you have with him? Why haven't you already asked if he's OK?

[lilly2015]

I think he had to be "This" tall to ride that ride.

Sorry but what that means? I Didnt Understand

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Hon, you've been with him for four years, but you can't talk about a concern you have with him? Why haven't you already asked if he's OK?

I asked him if everything is ok and he said it is. Thats why i dont understand this behaviour. Some people said maybe he is preparing a surprise like a propose but i dont know.

[woody]

Well don't get all bent wondering about this or that. Could be he's made a big decision and is researching stuff to help assist it, what ever 'it' is.
Other than this recent bout of distance, everything good in the relationship? You say yes so stop worrying so much. Could be he's really swamped with studies. Keep it simple as usually it is the simplest thing.

[michelle23]

Is this long distance?

[JohanD]

In the majority of cases, when a guy acts like you explain, it is really nothing. Actually "I am OK" normally means that he has something he has to take care of, and that he wants to figure it out by himself. In addition, he said that he wanted to talk about something important, and it sounded rather positive, so sounds like you can relax.

So that you know, when a guy is silent or distant is it nothing. All guys are like this. And it is as well the thing that stresses most girlfriends in a relationship. When guys have problems/ challenges to handle or are stressed about something, they want to solve the problem fast and they get distant because they are concentrated about that problem and not because they don't love you. If you really stress about it, I wrote about this recently in a post( How men think- 33 things to avoid saying to a man at Cupidious at the end of the article).

You've heard the saying: men cannot do 2 things at the time. This is where it comes from

[Wakeup]

Sorry but what that means? I Didnt Understand

It was my sarcastic way of telling you that he's on you for the ride but because of his age, he's getting scared to give you a committed life with him. It was a fun ride but now its coming to an end.

Just a guess (and I could be wrong) but I say that because that's what usually happens in many (most?) affairs where the women is that much older then the male. He's 24 years old and I'm sure he wants a lot more turns on different rides before he gets married and has children.

He could likely be feeling a tad apprehensive now that the pressure is on knowing that you want what you want and that your biological clock is urging you to hurry when he's not all that anxious..




Good luck. Hope he's just gone into "cave mode" for a tad of reflection.

[lilly2015]

Is this long distance?

No, we live 11 minutes away from each other.But we dont see each other for 4 months because of his studies.

[michelle23]

Its not a relationship if hes avoiding you for 4months. Take a hint and dump his passive aggressive ass as he doesn't have the balls to tell you he doesn't want to be with you anymore

[pcmaster]

Im sorry to hear that Mrs. Lilly. But it really seems its as Wakeup said - guy wants to try out another rides. Basically sudden behavior change usually comes after cheating.

This is the reason why I dont engage in serious relationships with younger girls - just because they not that serious about it. Good luck with everything ! Dont give up on your happiness ! There are other guys as well.

[TablesandChairs]

An 11 age year gap may not seem huge, but when you're dealing with a man in his earlier 20's, it is. He's still at University so really, he hasn't had a lot of time to develop into an adult and at that age - family, kids...he might not have fully understood the responsibility that requires when he said it. You're at very different life stages.

But my specific concern is you - to me, he's a 24 year student acting like a 24 year old student but you're the one who should be a lot wiser here. You live 11 minutes away and can't see him for 4 months? How is this acceptable to you? No student I have ever met was so busy that they couldn't see their partner (who lives 11 minutes away) for 4 months. Your clock is ticking and you're wasting it on a kid. Seems silly.

[Wakeup]

Does he live 11 mins. away but is attending a school that is long distance and that is why she hasn't seen him in four months?

Just wondering. It doesn't change my thoughts on the situation one way or the other.

[katyk]

Aww Lilly I feel the pain........you say he has only been 'weird' for two days and yet...you have alarm bells ringing already. Listen to them hon. Seems strange he was so desperate to meet up and then took the easy way out by remaining silent? You have ben together since he was 20 and you know men mature much later than women anyway so really he hasn't sown his proverbial oats and although I don't have a crystal ball.....I somehow think he may be feeling he has missed out on something? He may be trying to let you down gently OR as someone said, he may just be busy with his studies (its a well known fact men can't multi-task lol) But given the fact you haven't seen him for four months and his distance I really think you need to prepare yourself...

On a upbeat note, I don't think the age difference would matter in say ten years time. I do know couples who are really happy but they met when the man was in his 30's.

On

[lilly2015]

Well don't get all bent wondering about this or that. Could be he's made a big decision and is researching stuff to help assist it, what ever 'it' is.
Other than this recent bout of distance, everything good in the relationship? You say yes so stop worrying so much. Could be he's really swamped with studies. Keep it simple as usually it is the simplest thing.

Thank you! Yes, maybe you Are right. Maybe Im worrying too much!! It is his Last year of law studies and on next spring he will have his law order exam that is very difficult. I know he is very nervous about it. Maybe i should give him some time and space for himself.

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In the majority of cases, when a guy acts like you explain, it is really nothing. Actually "I am OK" normally means that he has something he has to take care of, and that he wants to figure it out by himself. In addition, he said that he wanted to talk about something important, and it sounded rather positive, so sounds like you can relax.

So that you know, when a guy is silent or distant is it nothing. All guys are like this. And it is as well the thing that stresses most girlfriends in a relationship. When guys have problems/ challenges to handle or are stressed about something, they want to solve the problem fast and they get distant because they are concentrated about that problem and not because they don't love you. If you really stress about it, I wrote about this recently in a post( How men think- 33 things to avoid saying to a man at Cupidious at the end of the article).

You've heard the saying: men cannot do 2 things at the time. This is where it comes from

Yes, Probably he is Just stressed out because of his law order exam next spring. I will give him time. He need it.

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It was my sarcastic way of telling you that he's on you for the ride but because of his age, he's getting scared to give you a committed life with him. It was a fun ride but now its coming to an end.

Just a guess (and I could be wrong) but I say that because that's what usually happens in many (most?) affairs where the women is that much older then the male. He's 24 years old and I'm sure he wants a lot more turns on different rides before he gets married and has children.

He could likely be feeling a tad apprehensive now that the pressure is on knowing that you want what you want and that your biological clock is urging you to hurry when he's not all that anxious..




Good luck. Hope he's just gone into "cave mode" for a tad of reflection.

Well,Im his first gf actually. He is still virgin and he never kissed no one either.he was rejected 4 times before we met. Is weird because in this Last days he cant stop to talk about we have 4 Kids and that he would love to have a baby with me. He even started to talk about we Kiss and so on :o

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Its not a relationship if hes avoiding you for 4months. Take a hint and dump his passive aggressive ass as he doesn't have the balls to tell you he doesn't want to be with you anymore

Im his first gf and it is his first time in everything. He always seems to scared and shy
in the Last days he is insisting a lot that we meet and that i will like it a lot. And first time he talk about we Kiss and so on.

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Im sorry to hear that Mrs. Lilly. But it really seems its as Wakeup said - guy wants to try out another rides. Basically sudden behavior change usually comes after cheating.

This is the reason why I dont engage in serious relationships with younger girls - just because they not that serious about it. Good luck with everything ! Dont give up on your happiness ! There are other guys as well.

How can he be cheating if he is still virgin and Im his first gf??? And he is a very shy guy. But thank you for the advice

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An 11 age year gap may not seem huge, but when you're dealing with a man in his earlier 20's, it is. He's still at University so really, he hasn't had a lot of time to develop into an adult and at that age - family, kids...he might not have fully understood the responsibility that requires when he said it. You're at very different life stages.

But my specific concern is you - to me, he's a 24 year student acting like a 24 year old student but you're the one who should be a lot wiser here. You live 11 minutes away and can't see him for 4 months? How is this acceptable to you? No student I have ever met was so busy that they couldn't see their partner (who lives 11 minutes away) for 4 months. Your clock is ticking and you're wasting it on a kid. Seems silly.

I told him that but i dont want to disturb his studies either because he will have his law order exam. I know he is very young. But in the Last days he talked about we having Kids :o

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Does he live 11 mins. away but is attending a school that is long distance and that is why she hasn't seen him in four months?

Just wondering. It doesn't change my thoughts on the situation one way or the other.

His university is 1 hour and half /2 hours away and he travel everyday By train to go to university.

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Aww Lilly I feel the pain........you say he has only been 'weird' for two days and yet...you have alarm bells ringing already. Listen to them hon. Seems strange he was so desperate to meet up and then took the easy way out by remaining silent? You have ben together since he was 20 and you know men mature much later than women anyway so really he hasn't sown his proverbial oats and although I don't have a crystal ball.....I somehow think he may be feeling he has missed out on something? He may be trying to let you down gently OR as someone said, he may just be busy with his studies (its a well known fact men can't multi-task lol) But given the fact you haven't seen him for four months and his distance I really think you need to prepare yourself...

On a upbeat note, I don't think the age difference would matter in say ten years time. I do know couples who are really happy but they met when the man was in his 30's.

On

I know we Are together since he was 21 years old. But in Last days he seems more sweet and even wants to Kiss, be together, talk about our future together and even have children and thst he cant wait to have them with me.when i told him thst with my age will be difficult to get pregnant, he said when 2 people love each other very much the chances of get pregnant are higher.... And that we can do it.a common friend said he is organizing a surprise for me and After i ask very much that friend said he Asked him for some advices how to propose :marriage :o