does he still loves me or just stringing me along?

[beatrice]

I dated this guy for almost 5months, the connction with him was so great, he treat me with so much respect, he almost has everything a women can ask for. smart, Sweet, thoughtful guy who put so much effort, I know we were so into each other back thn so i fall hard for him. I thought ours would go further, even think he might be the one. But we came to this point when i askd him where do i really stand, he told me he wasnt ready. Not ready for commitment. It hurts so bad. I couldnt settle for less, n he said he doesnt want to hurt me too so we both decided to stop but agree to be frnds.
Its been almost a year now when we stop.and we still see each other from time to time (as a friend no any romantic involve here). But i get to see him more often this past 2months. I admit i still have feelings for him, n its going stronger again, i couldnt help myself but to feel happy when he is around, n make me feel warm when he hugs me. He always give me this look, as if im the only girl in the world. He smiles the whole time when he is with me, he still treats me/ we do things as if we were still dating, When i ask him if he seeing someone else he said no. The only problem is he didnt say anything or try to open up, So i dont really know whats going on between me and him. To be honest im afraid to ask, i might be push him away.

I dont really know what to do. Should i just wait and see? Let things happns freely? Im afraid if i ask him i might push him away. I dont wanna pressure him either. But i do want him back. Pls give me some advise. Would appreciate advise from guy too. Thank you!

[beatrice]

Well, wanna add something here.. i said i do see him more often now. He initiates it. N he do put efforts. Thats why im confused what is he really into now.

[Wakeup]

I gave a more detailed response in your other thread however; The bottom line is that he STILL HAS NOT COMMITTED TO YOU. Are you having sex with him when he doles out his time to you? Do you honestly believe him when he says that he's not "seeing" other women. He may not be dating them just like he's not dating you. It doesn't mean anything when he simply says "no."

You waste your time with men like him.

[beatrice]

Thanks for the advise. I also read ur respond from the other thread. I do need to wake up, do i?
I honestly not sure if i believe him or not. Cause he could be honest with me since were not together. It would actually help me to move on if he said yes. When i ask him that question he flip it back to me saying, are we? (My wrong move this time, i couldnt answer him, may supposed to be the moment, but i refuses the awkwardness)-my bad

Sex? No. We never had sex since we "ended" our dating thing. But he hugs me and kisses my forehead a lot.

From my 1st post I admit i still have feelings for him, but i kept it to myself, cause i want him to open up with me 1st. Im not a clingy type of girl who would call or text him all the time, cause i dont wanna look desperate. I do wait. And let him do things. I just so confused with the attention he gives me, if he have time he would spend time with me and put efforts. If not going out tryng out some new restuarant, we cook at home, experienmntal food/ cook new dishes since im planng to have my own restaurant too, n he loves to eat and cook along with me. And he bring me along again to hangout with his friends. But there are times too that it go days without call or text from him, but i condsider him as busy man, handlng their family business. His father is gone, he is the only son, so almost all works is on him. (Not sure if this is reasonable though)

Believe me or not, i did try to date other guys, as i also try to keep my option open. But i dont really enjoy their company unlike with this guy. I do more often hang out with friends or do my stuff then seeing guys.

- - - Updated - - -

Anyhoo.. i do need to clear up my mind now. It just so hard to be in this situation.

[woody]

Yes that's a difficult place to put your heart. Surely this young man knows your feelings for him.
Crushing on someone like this, on someone that doesn't reciprocate the feelings clearly, can be a very confusing thing to deal with. You'll hurt, yearn, create self doubts and a whole slew of emo's you never thought possible. So is this fair on you? This man knows how you feel and almost seems to be toying with your heart; meaning, by simply hanging out with you and knowing you want more but he does not, your boosting his ego at the cost of your own.
I don't know if i'm saying that right. Wakeup would know more about this. Almost sounds like some slightly twisted form of co dependance. He puts out some cookie crumbs which your most happy to get, you make him feel desirable and he spends some time and then leaves; leaves you feeling hollow without him. Well, shyte, that sucks.

Stringing you along? I'd say that's a big ball of yarn and you need some scissors. Dear lady, it's about knowing all you have to offer, knowing all your capable of giving and receiving, knowing your own self worth and holding your bar high.
REmember, a gentleman does not string along a lady. He either man's up and jumps in full heartedly or he walks away and lets the lady get on with her life.
If he is not respecting you, you must respect your self more.
It sounds like your torturing your heart here. Tell him. Hey, maybe he is oblivious to the level of care you feel towards him; maybe he thinks you two are great friends. But he should know the truth. Any true friend wouldn't want you to suffer. Tell him how your feeling and see what he does with it. If he's not keen, move on. Don't get trapped and wrapped in crushing so hard over someone who isn't the right fit.

you never know, throw the dice and see what you get.

[beatrice]

Its really a difficult to be at. I dont really know what to do and whats up with him. I know he care but dont know to what extent. He doesnt really leave me feeling hollow, at some point he makes me feel thats hes thinkng of me when he is not arround, he would surprise me with lil things. But still ur right he should man up. Nver.less this is nothing and doesn't mean anything. Thanks woody.

[woody]

Well everything means something. And please don't imply that something your enduring is 'nothing'.
Silly goose. Now now dear lady, come on. Everything will be alright.

For you I suggest listening to Janis Joplin's version of 'summertime'. Always helps me. Help you too.

Just talk to the guy. This is your life. Yours.