4 year relationship on the rocks

[Sags]

My boyfriend and i have been together for 4 plus years. He was my neighbour and for some reasons i shifted to a different locality which was hardly 30minutes.
He was the sweetest most caring boyfriend until recently he has become someone who i dont recognize. He gets angry on me for apparently smallest of reasons and stops talking for hours and hours. And when i try to solve it i always end up the one begging and pleading him to forgive me. He is enjoying life to the fullest and when i plan to go out he just starts a fight and ultimately i cancel all plans. Sometimes he is the guy i fell in love with but mostly he is this new angry frustrated guy who just wants to fight with me on small reasons. I even stopped hanging out with friends cause he didnt like it and now i am this lonely person because he has decided to break-up with me. And my life is all about him. I just dont know what to do. I love him a lot and i know he does to, but how should i make him the guy i fell in love with. I have made my share of mistakes as well. But i did everything to correct them. Really need help

[johny77]

Sags, don't get me wrong when I'll say this.
When you said this "I even stopped hanging out with friends cause he didnt like it", I honestly asked myself why you still want to hangout with him.
Sags, love for one person doesn't mean you need to forget about everyone else, including yourself. You should come first. The day you act like that, you'll see him "crawling" at your front steps asking for an apology.

[Sags]

Thank you so much for the advice. Its hard to forget him cause i know him since childhood

[Wakeup]

Realize this, and if you can't then you really do need to get therapy to help you realize it: This man was abusive to you and you are addicted now to being mis-treated and disrespected.

Any women that are not with issue, who are not addicted to abuse would have fled this man the minute he started whelding all this control over you. He's a vile and disgusting assclown and now that you are free of him... do the work you need to do on yourself so that you truly believe that you deserve better then what this twat dished out to you.

Here is a link to an abused woman's help site. Just because he didn't hit you it doesn't mean you weren't abused.

[url=http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-abused-and-battered-women.htm]Help for Abused and Battered Women: Protecting Yourself and Escaping from Domestic Violence[/url]

Hone your very lacking personal boundaries so that you have the confidence and strength to tell people to stop when they are treating you with this kind of abuse and be able to quickly leave them if they do not stop: Here's a link on the importance of personal boundaries.

[url=http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-importance-of-personal-boundaries/0001112]The Importance of Personal Boundaries | Psych Central[/url]

Forget him by working on yourself. Doing that will keep you busy as you go through the steps you need to go through to overcome your codependency... here is a link on that:

[url=http://serenityonlinetherapy.com/codependency.htm]Codependency: Loss of Self In Others[/url]

Learn to love yourself enough to recognize and quickly chuck men who do not value you, who try to control you, who mentally and emotionally abuse you.

P.S. You DO NOT want this man crawling back to you and asking for an apology. He has a whole different set of issues that he needs to get professional help with before he'll ever change. He's a product of his upbringing (as are you I'd imagine) that won't change unless he actually realizes he has a problem.

[smackie9]

Sags you can for get about him! I know he is all you have known BUT the human mind has the ability to let go and move on. You just need to give it time and you will adjust to it. You have to keep busy, spend time with your friends and family, go out, enjoy life. You will feel your self worth and independence return. It can and it will happen. You just have to go no contact, delete all numbers, emails and block him. You can do it!