Will we ever get engaged?

[Wakeup]

Well he's never been this jerky before. Lots of times that he seemed disinterested, once that he tried to go out with and constantly flirt with that girl behind my back, always making it clear that work is [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1]#1[/URL] over me or his family. But maybe he's just mad and needs time to cool off right now. Maybe he's just afraid to get emotionally close or really love and needs more time. It did take him a year to say "I love you" back and once he finally did, he immediately ran out to try to meet up with that other chick at a bar at midnight

Trolling, trolls be trolling.

[woody]

I think he'll love me if I just figure out how to be independent enough for him. So will moving out work? If he didn't want to date anymore, when I suggested moving out and still dating he wouldn't have said "sounds good." And he answers all my phone calls, isn't like demanding that I leave his apt in any time frame (my name isn't on the lease)... If he were done with me, he could've done those things

O.P a.k.a Roses.
Please, for goodness sake, read your first line and tell me you see the problem. Please tell me you see the problem "I think he'll love me if I just figure out how to be independent enough for him"
What the heck woman?!!! If buddy doesn't love you now, he won't. I'm sorry but this man seems to have made his choice; is simply trying to be as chivalrous as possible as he waits for you to move out yet at the same time, he's sensing your lingering and it's pissing him off, which is why he told you to F off regarding the plane tickets. Take a hint.

Grab you britches, tap into your inner bitch and use her wisely. She will help you move out with your head held higher than it is right now, that's for sure. I don't often recommend bringing out the bitch but in this case, I feel she's needed. You do remember her right? She's in there; bring her out....
Lady, get a grip. I'm so sorry to say that but your in serious trouble here. Do you really want to be that desperate lingering girl that ends up driving the man so crazy he eventually snaps and becomes full time jerk? Snatch up what's left of the integrity, pack your bags, leave a note thanking him for any good times, you wish him well but your on different paths and then, open the door and walk through it, down the hall, out the building, put one foot in front of the other while feeling the sting of tears swelling in your beautiful eyes and know that your doing the right thing.
He'll respect you allot more if you prove to him you know your own self worth; but even more importantly, YOU will respect your self allot more. What ever happens after that, happens.
Boy's not for you. No worries, fuggit. Move on.
The longer you spend with a mr.wrong, the less time you'll have with a mr.right.... smarten up, he's out there.

[Roses919191]

NO. I will make him love me. Stop telling me I'm a loser and he won't. He cares about me enough to keep speaking to me even though he's mad. He could've just kicked me out, blocked my number, told me he refuses to speak, etc.

[woody]

Please tell me where I said you were a loser. Come on, please refrain from the falsies.

[dontaskme]

NO. I will make him love me. Stop telling me I'm a loser and he won't. He cares about me enough to keep speaking to me even though he's mad. He could've just kicked me out, blocked my number, told me he refuses to speak, etc.

If you don't pack your bags and your pride now, soon enough he'll be kicking your ass out of the door too.

[Wakeup]

NO. I will make him love me.

Well, at least now you're admitting that he does not currently love you.

[Roses919191]

he dropped his previous GF after 3 good years just because he was that opposed to getting engaged "and we fought about it," and she was also upset bc he flirted with another chick behind her back.

So he's the one with the problems, I'm not a loser.
So once he fixes his stupid problems, he'll be happy with me. If he thought I were such a loser he wuld've kicked me out and stopped speaking to me!

[dontaskme]

It's just a matter of time till he kicks you out the door. Pack your pride while you have one.

- - - Updated - - -

And if you recognize that he's got issues, why are you insisting on getting engaged with him?

[woody]

I'm not sure if Love can be forced...

More over, why would one want to be with another if it isn't concomitantly, naturally reached?

o.p, you came here seeking insight into your situation. You explained things, confirmed the seeming lack of deep connect (told us he said he no longer loved you) yet you really want him to, again or perhaps for the first time.
What is it about this guy that's got you all hot and bothered?
Is it perhaps you have a tough time not getting what you want? Tough time with rejection or something like that because if it is, your not alone; but how you deal with it, is all up to you.

anyway, reboot.
oh yeah and uh, walking away from something doesn't mean your a loser woman; smarten up. Doesn't bode well putting yourself down like that. and all people here have done is encourage you to maintain a sense of pride and dignity.
buthey, not what you wanted to hear right? yeah, rolling stones.

[Roses919191]

He made dinner last night and I said I was hungry & then he told me I could help myself to it once it was made. I fell asleep on couch by accident & he woke me up to ask if I was really planning to sleep there (vs in bed with him). He just doesn't want to hug bye in morning but said its bc he was running very late for work (which he was). Obviously after a big fight he needs a little space & time

But he wouldn't even do that much if he wanted to kick me out and never see me again

[dontaskme]

He made dinner last night and I said I was hungry & then he told me I could help myself to it once it was made. I fell asleep on couch by accident & he woke me up to ask if I was really planning to sleep there (vs in bed with him). He just doesn't want to hug bye in morning but said its bc he was running very late for work (which he was). Obviously after a big fight he needs a little space & time

But he wouldn't even do that much if he wanted to kick me out and never see me again

OMG, now you are analyzing every move he makes. What a great way to stay in a relationship! Like being on a pirate ship, you don't know when you will get thrown out into the sea, because you will be of no use for the pirate any longer, lol.

To answer your initial question, no, you will never get engage, not to this man anyway. He said his peace, he does not want to get engage anytime soon. So, if you want to wait till infinity and beyond, and or remain single forever till he kicks you out of his life, oh well, it's your life, so be it.

[Wakeup]

he dropped his previous GF after 3 good years just because he was that opposed to getting engaged "and we fought about it," and she was also upset bc he flirted with another chick behind her back.

So he's the one with the problems, I'm not a loser.
So once he fixes his stupid problems, he'll be happy with me. If he thought I were such a loser he wuld've kicked me out and stopped speaking to me!

Stop being such a troll.

[Roses919191]

The idea of being married and "stuck" in a stable, drama-free life with an average guy who thinks I'm super great and pays lots of attention to me... Bores me to death. I would much rather be with a high-profile guy like my current BF, in my same career, who is a little distant and I have to work to win him over, but can eventually get married to him in the end. More exciting

[pcmaster]

Good luck with your drama then. At some point you will get tired of it and want drama free boring relationship.

[dontaskme]

The idea of being married and "stuck" in a stable, drama-free life with an average guy who thinks I'm super great and pays lots of attention to me... Bores me to death. I would much rather be with a high-profile guy like my current BF, in my same career, who is a little distant and I have to work to win him over, but can eventually get married to him in the end. More exciting

Sounds like a sour grape statement...