My ex and I, should I try to get back with her?

[iamjustsomeguy]

Tried to make it as simple as possible.

We got together at 18.
After a year of being happy we took a few week break.
Got back together, neither of us having slept with anyone else during break.
Days after we were back together I find her at a party having sex with someone.
She tells me it was rape.
I encourage her to get counseling and talk to police however she refuses.
Eventually she says it wasn't rape.
I then tell her I am done with her.
She begs and pleads and says I can sleep with someone else.
I tell her I want to have a threesome (19 year old mind at work).
She promises that she would and would make it right for me.

Years go by with no threesome, she makes no attempts and says not comfortable. I am supportive.
She continues to tell me we will and as I get older, the actual act is not important to me anymore. Just the 'promise' of it.
More years go by and she begins to make feeble attempts but this girl is too pretty, too ugly, we know her too well, we don't know her enough.
I tell her point blank, don't pretend, if you aren't into it, just say so.
She continues to say she will as she is actually interested in trying to be with a girl.

After more years....
I get fed up of being told it is going to happen, even giving her the opportunity to back out.
I start to lose respect for her.
I start to flirt with other girls.
I start to have sex with other girls.
She catches me but starts being a better girlfriend than ever.
I stop cheating on her because she is so awesome to me.
She then turns into a complete shit head to me.
I start cheating again.
She gets nice again.
I Keep cheating on her because its the only way she is a good partner to me.

We then get back to a normal place somehow with no cheating and no issues.
Then she brings up lets have the threesome.

After 2 years of feeble attempts and nonsense reasons why not...
She just like cracks and goes crazy. She starts sneaking out at night. Ditching me when we go out together etc. Telling me everything is my fault and she isn't even sorry she cheated on me in the first place years ago. That really pissed me off, I am over it but if she has no remorse that does hurt. Also during this time, I hate to say it but for a whole year, she smelled really bad down there, I think it was on purpose so we wouldn't have as much sex. Anyways, I don't know what the problem is. I tell her to just forget the threesome and lets just be normal as we are now approaching 30 years old or if she really wants it just commit to it and get er done but no more games.

I said we should move apart from each other for a few months and stay with our families and then try again as we both are just stressed and stuff and she agrees.

Now its been a few months and I call or text her some days and she is so happy to talk and is really nice and talks about plans to go on a vacation as our way to meet back up. BUT other times I call or text ie thanksgiving I said "Happy thanksgiving, are you going to see your mom side or dads?" and she responds back "none of your ****ing business, i hate you". LOL what the freak is that? Then a week later she texts me nice stuff again. No interaction in between. That is super creepy and weird. Just yesterday she tells me about a cute outfit she got for our pet bunny that she has, and today she says 'never talk to me again' and ignores all my other texts.

I am just really confused. We have been together over 9 years now. Help what should I do?

[smackie9]

She probably has Borderline Personality Disorder :which is a tendency to have unstable relationships, intense mood changes, rapidly shifting self-image, high levels of anxiety, including chronic worrying and intense panic, and noticeably impulsive behaviour.

She either gets help, and you both go to counseling, or you simply end it.

[Wakeup]

Cool story bro...

I get fed up of being told it is going to happen, even giving her the opportunity to back out.

I'd hardly call what you said/did giving her the opportunity to backout. Giving her that opportunity would have been you telling her you had outgrown the desire for a threesome and she can relax about feeling that that is what she needed to do to earn your love back.

You're just as sick as she is and you'd do well to get help for your need for drama. Any man that wasn't with issue would have walked away from her the minute they found her gyrating on some other schmucks dick and calling it rape.