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Thread: still a virgin, she wants fwb

  1. #1
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    still a virgin, she wants fwb

    Sorry really long post coming up here. Im 20 years old now and still a virgin. My friends younger sister who knows that im a virgin and is 2 years younger than me, has become pretty good friends with me over the years. As time went on, i stopped talking to the friend as much(although we are still friends) and i started talking to his sister a lot more. We`ve been friends for like at least 4 years now, and i never thought of her as anything more than a friend. She tells me about her guy problems, i tell her about my life with girls, and stuff all the time, i never really thought about having sex with her until recently.

    I just recently got rejected by a girl i was really into, i havent had a girlfriend for a very long time, and im beginning to get really tired of being a virgin. This girl has been dating a ton of guys recently, almost going through a new guy or 2 like every week and has had sex quite a few times, i still dont really judge her or consider her a whore or anything. There was a time that she asked me if i was a virigin and i told her the truth, and she asked me if i wanted to lose my virginity to someone special or just anyone, and i was a little bit scared to tell her that im pretty much willing to lose it to anyone at this point so i ended up responding by saying "i think it would have to depend on the situation, but preferably someone special"

    Recently, she has told me that she is interested in becoming fwb`s with someone. She said she was supposed to be with 2 other guys, but they fooled around a bit, and then never texted her back. She is on to another guy now, she has a date with soon, they are just going to get coffee, her wisdom teeth were removed recently so i dont think shes going to have sex with him. But she still asks me for advice about guys all the time, and she told me that she told him from the start that shes not looking for a relationship at the moment, and after talking to him she said she thinks there just going to be hang out and slowly work their way up to fwb`s. When she first told me that she was interested in casual make outs and fwb`s, i asked her if that was the reason she was wondering if i would want to lose my virginity to someone special or just anyone. and she responded "idk aha" and then i just let it go and said "ohhh okay lol", cuz i wasn`t really sure at the time, if i wanted to be fwb`s with her.

    So, im thinking if things dont work out with this new guy, or even if things are going decently, should i ask her to be fwb`s with me? I`ve never tried hitting on her in anyway b4, her main concerns she said is that she just wants to be with someone nice, someone who wont leave after 1 time, and someone she doesnt think is creepy.

    Ive never really tried to be flirty with her or anything in the past, i actually was totally cool with just being friends with her. But now that she mentions fwb`s, I am really horny all the time and if shes really down for no strings attached sex, i don`t really think its too bad, i`d rather lose my virginity to her since im comfortable with her, and gain some experience in the bedroom.

    up until now i always tried to be one of those "nice guys" who didnt only think about sex and wanted a serious relationship, but after my last rejection, i pretty much gave up on girls liking me simply for who i am. I pretty much gave up or am at least taking a break from relationships for awhile.
    i was never really good at getting girls, but a lot thought that i was really nice, not a creep,
    but were only interested in being friends.Im not the best at flirting or being a super dominant alpha male
    and im worried if i mess up this chance to get laid, its going to be a many years before i get the same chance. I mostly
    just want to become familar with having sex, and know what its like so i can be more confident in the future.


    So im basically just wondering if i should do it or not? at this point i already have like %80 made up my mind to just go ahead and do it anyways, the reason i avoided it for so long up until now, and not when she was hinting at it earlier, was because i wasnt sure if i wanted to do it for awhile, i had conflicting feelings because i never really thought something like this would ever happen, and ive never had a girl tell me things like this so openly. Does it seem like she will probably be down? I am a little afraid of rejection here since im such good friends with her and her brother, dont want things to be weird. I dont really have intimate feelings for her though, so i dont see the harm in both of us having sex with each other if its what we both want, and nothing else even though ive heard stories that it doesnt work.

    And although this shouldnt be a huge issue, I never said anything about my dick size, but I think she is expecting me to have a huge cock. I`m indian but my skin is really dark, so her brother always makes jokes about how big my dick probably is since im "black" and i never really denied it i guess. I`m worried she is actually under the impression that i have a huge cock and in reality im actually like average size or a little bit smaller.

  2. #2
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    You have big plans but courage are not so big. Think less do more. Talk with her and communicate about things that you thinking about. Also at your age losing virginity is easy. Might as well go to nightclub(with friends) and end next morning wake up with someone. Also you worry too much about yourself and what others might think of you. Thats what actually holds you back.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  3. #3
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    This girl has been with a few guys. There are risks involved (STD's, unwanted pregnancy, not knowing who the dad is etc)..

    If you were to do this, have you considered asking her to be tested first? What contraception will you use? Will you both be allowed to sleep with other people? How will you protect yourself, her and others from infections, diseases and viruses if yes?

    Also have you considered the emotional implications? What if you fall for her and she just wants sex or vice versa?.how will you handle that?

    Its all fun and games till someone gets hurt. All i can say is think it through before you act and be smart and safe.

    Personally I don't agree with casual sex for a list of reasons but i think if you have always wanted it to be special, then you could look back with regret if you do this for all the wrong reasons. 20 is still young and if you had more confidence and were not afraid to be assertive and ask a girl out then you would soon meet someone.
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  4. #4
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    IDK does it feel like the right thing to do, or you have a lot of doubts still, if it feels not right, don't do it.

    I would say if you do it, only do it for the " I am tired of being a virgin" experience and don't go in for the FWB deal, because she will be your first and your bound to get very attached and if she plows through man after man it won't be good feels for you when she is done with you too.
    It's not what you have, it's what you do with what you have that matters.

  5. #5
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    all is right!

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