opposite sex roommate?

[yearwithout]

Hi, I have been dating a woman about two months and on the third or so date she revealed that she is living with a man. She said she met the man originally in a dating context, but quickly decided she would only consider him a friend. He was down on his luck, financial issues, mental health issues, so she said he could come live with her to get him back on his feet. He helps with her two teenage sons, such as driving them to school, helps around the house, etc. Seems to even attend some family holiday functions. I think she also enjoys the company of another adult in the house. He is not happy she is dating me and doesn't want to "put it in his face", so as a result we can't spend any time at her house. She doesn't like driving the distance to where I live, so our time is mostly spent out in restaurants. She says I shouldn't make a big deal about the situation and if we get serious, eventually the situation will resolve and he would need to find somewhere else to live, but given his finances and mental issues is easier said than done. So who is right? Something I shouldn't worry about?

Thanks for your thoughts!

[smackie9]

Well I'll say this much....you can obviously see where her priorities are. Run away as fast as you can.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm not saying there is something going on between them. It's the drama that's coming if you keep dating her. It's a bunch of bull sh it you shouldn't get involved with. Again run away as fast as you can!

[yearwithout]

Thank you, a couple of personal friends said the exact same thing..run away and fast. A consensus is building.

[michelle23]

Yes i think run too. My first thought was "shes married and he knows nothing about you".. even if shes not, this situation is too weird. Get out now

[TablesandChairs]

He's in her home. She's doing him a favour. As such, she should be able to bring you into the home and do whatever the heck she pleases. Rub it in his face? No - but tailoring her life around him to the point that you two get no quality alone time? Bull. Either he's a roommate or he's not. If he's the former - then who she dates is not his concern. I'd be smelling a rat.

[Wakeup]

Hi, I have been dating a woman about two months and on the third or so date she revealed that she is living with a man. She said she met the man originally in a dating context, but quickly decided she would only consider him a friend. He was down on his luck, financial issues, mental health issues, so she said he could come live with her to get him back on his feet. He helps with her two teenage sons, such as driving them to school, helps around the house, etc. Seems to even attend some family holiday functions. I think she also enjoys the company of another adult in the house. He is not happy she is dating me and doesn't want to "put it in his face", so as a result we can't spend any time at her house. She doesn't like driving the distance to where I live, so our time is mostly spent out in restaurants. She says I shouldn't make a big deal about the situation and if we get serious, eventually the situation will resolve and he would need to find somewhere else to live, but given his finances and mental issues is easier said than done. So who is right? Something I shouldn't worry about?

Thanks for your thoughts!

Yes it's something you should worry about. She's involved with another man and is lying straight to your face about her relationship status.

Even if she isn't lying about the relationship status, she's got issues if she'd take in a man that is virtually a stranger and let him caregive to her children alone.

Anyone who won't bring you home has something to hide. If she's so concerned about not "putting it in his face" then she is more invested in him then she is in you.

Run Forest, Run....

Also: I have to ask why you didn't just stop seeing her when she revealed all this BS to you instead of continuing on for three months with her and just now wondering if something is wrong with the situation?

BTW: Who pays for "all this time out in restaurants?"

[yearwithout]

Yes it's something you should worry about. She's involved with another man and is lying straight to your face about her relationship status.

Even if she isn't lying about the relationship status, she's got issues if she'd take in a man that is virtually a stranger and let him caregive to her children alone.

Anyone who won't bring you home has something to hide. If she's so concerned about not "putting it in his face" then she is more invested in him then she is in you.

Run Forest, Run....

Also: I have to ask why you didn't just stop seeing her when she revealed all this BS to you instead of continuing on for three months with her and just now wondering if something is wrong with the situation?

BTW: Who pays for "all this time out in restaurants?"

My reply: Well I thought it was something we could manage and workaround, but it has been the source of a lot of friction between us. I pay for everything when we go out which is my habit and preference. But she also said she prefers that too, because she is very "traditional".

[Wakeup]

My reply: Well I thought it was something we could manage and workaround, but it has been the source of a lot of friction between us. I pay for everything when we go out which is my habit and preference. But she also said she prefers that too, because she is very "traditional".

Jezus Christ on a hand cart.... she's using you left right and centre.

[yearwithout]

Thanks for your perspective. It's very helpful to me. We established a pretty close connection for a while, so it's always hard to give up on that, but the writing on the wall here is pretty clear.

[pcmaster]

Wonder if you really had yearwithout it.

[Wakeup]

Wonder if you really had yearwithout it.

^^^ Ha... good question. Were you having sex with this woman, Yearwithoutit?

In any event, I'm glad you're starting to see what's going on here. Stop it by lying to her and telling her you have to stop seeing her because your lovely wife doesn't think she (she being this lying twat you have been "dating: is good enough for you. Then block and delete the gold digging beotch

Let us know how she takes the news. lol

[TablesandChairs]

I find it funny that she thinks she's 'traditional'. It seems the only tradition she likes employing is that of not paying for anything. It's not very traditional to have some dude who has feelings for her living in her home and another who can't even step foot on her lawn because it might upset the other. Traditionally, you'd call that being a hoe. To be blunt.

You need to wise up a bit here; as I mentioned previously - either he's a room-mate or he's not. None of this 'protecting' his feelings bull; they're not dating, he's a guest in her home and as such, should have very little say in who she invites over and when.

[milk&honey]

Something smells wrong with what she's telling you. The house is hers and she's doing that man a favor, so why should he get in the way of you coming over? If there's nothing going on he shouldn't even care, and she shouldn't care what he thinks too for that matter. Run!