Drifting apart?

[SkaroDalek415]

Hi. I'm a sophomore in high school and since October, I've known this girl who has become one of my best friends. While we never really considered ourselves in a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship, she knew I liked her and I knew she liked me. For the past 2 months, we've always texted or emailed each other almost everyday. At lunch, we would sit next to each other and laugh and talk about a lot of things. We been on two "dates" (she's prefers to call them hang outs) and we'd always hug each other before and after school. Long story short, we had such a strong bond with each other, and I enjoyed every moment with her. But as of right now, I'm beginning to worry that the connection we had is beginning to weaken, at least from what I think. We're still friends but I feel like we barely talk to each other anymore. She doesn't really sit next to me at lunch anymore and when we see each other before and after school, it's usually a simple "hello" or "goodbye" and then she walks off. It is finals week, so I guess she's not so vocal because she's focused on studying, but I'm honestly beginning to worry that the bond we had is beginning to break. I don't really want to approach her with this issue, because I don't want her to think I'm paranoid or anything. Am I honestly being too worried over nothing? This is the very first time I have felt such strong feelings for a girl, but I do apologize if I'm overreacting. I genuinely love her so I'm guessing that's why I feel so worried.

[smackie9]

You are totally friend zoned. When a girl has to correct you and say they were "hangouts" that means "we are just friends". She is starting to notice you getting all lovey eyed, and it's making her back off because she doesn't feel the same way. Sorry but you need to make your intentions very clear at the start....never ever think that being available to them will convince them to fall for you. It's not the right way to get a GF. You ask them out on a "date", and you never invest your feelings until you are officially together. You are gonna learn the hard way I guess.

If you want closure, you are just going to have a talk with her and get your answer that way.

[SkaroDalek415]

You are totally friend zoned. When a girl has to correct you and say they were "hangouts" that means "we are just friends". She is starting to notice you getting all lovey eyed, and it's making her back off because she doesn't feel the same way. Sorry but you need to make your intentions very clear at the start....never ever think that being available to them will convince them to fall for you. It's not the right way to get a GF. You ask them out on a "date", and you never invest your feelings until you are officially together. You are gonna learn the hard way I guess.

If you want closure, you are just going to have a talk with her and get your answer that way.

I appreciate the reply but I wasn't trying to get her to be my girlfriend. On our first date, hangout, whatever, she already knew that I had feelings for her and it was obvious to me that she liked me. However, she didn't feel comfortable with a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. She stated that she'd prefer to be in a "friends who like each other" sort of relationship, and I respected that. Even so, we had a really close bond. I honestly don't care if she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, but I do wish to remain close friends for a long time. What I'm worried about is that the close bond we had is beginning to deteriorate, regardless if she is my girlfriend or best friend. Mind you, we are definitely still friends, but currently, I feel as if we aren't so close. Sorry I know this is a LOVE forum and we aren't necessarily in a love relationship...

[Wakeup]

I think the worse thing you can do when someone appears to be running away from you is to chase after them harder.

Just follow her lead. If he initiates anything with you then be open to it. If she ignores you then you ignore her. Let her do the next text or phone call etc. Give her an opportunity to wonder why you're not running after her anymore. It sounds like games but its just psychology really. It's human nature to run-away when being chased.

She may be backing off because she suspects you are in love with her as a "boyfriend" would be whereas she may just be wanting friendship.

[smackie9]

Well it's possible she has an interest in a guy and needs to move on. It's not unusual for a girl to ditch her best (male) friend when she starts dating someone. She's going to be dating someone eventually, and your friendship will not appropriate if she is with someone else.

If it's just a friendship you wouldn't be too worried, so you are not fooling anyone on your feelings. You are desperate and in love with this girl, and you are willing to take any bread crumbs she offers just to be with her.....this is better known as a doormat. It's the very reason she doesn't find you attractive enough to date.

Her ditching you is a blessing in disguise....this could help you to move on and find yourself a real GF.