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Thread: She wants a break. Or a breakup?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    Male
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    She wants a break. Or a breakup?

    My girl and I just celebrated our 3 month. We live an hour and a half away from each other, so it is a long distance thing. Leading up to our anniversary date last week, everything was fine. Aside from her wanting to start a fight on that actual date because I was late (we didn't plan the date ahead of time. She literally texted me saying "okay, come meet me at this restaurant now," and got upset when it took me time to get there. But that all curtailed when I showed up with flowers, and told her how beautiful she looked that night. And she gave me that smile that night as well; ya know, that smile that when you see it makes everything all better and worth it? Anyways, leading up to that night, we hadn't seen each other in two weeks because we were both sick (used to seeing each other 2x weekly). I only mention that because she then used the "absence really does make the heart grow fonder" reference. She also recently changed her fb pic to one of us, and posted about how lucky she felt just a week earlier (only noteworthy because of the recency and her previous tendency not to publicly boast/brag about me/us.)
    The next day we didn't talk much because we both had made separate plans and were busy most of the day.
    Following day, She initiates texting, still using pet names/emoticons, but doesn't really carry conversation. I call her, we makes plans to go out the following night.
    That following day, she doesn't initiate conversation, one word responds to my text, but still agrees to meet for date night. She seemed much better in person, but still off, and initiates for the kiss goodnight. She asks me to text when I get home so she knows i was safe (long drive plus snow) and I do. No response. Text her two hours later that I was going to bed, immediately responds with, "goodnight, babe."
    Following day, I text her good morning when I wake up (as I do every morning), no response until around 7pm. How was your day? I respond. She responds. I respond, asking a question. No response. 4 hours later I finally call her, she doesn't respond, texts me asking what I wanted. So I tell her my concerns.
    She responds saying that she has been super stressed with work and school lately; and that at the same time she has been trying to position herself better in life for years, but finally feels healthy enough and motivated enough to do something about it now. But she said in order to do so, she needs to be selfish, focus on herself and do it by herself with no excuses. That being the case, she said she's having internal conflict on whether or not this is a good time for her to be in a serious relationship. I responded with a long-winded text reinforcing my stance, commitment & feelings, praising her decision & determination to improve herself, and stating that her happiness is my priority and that if that is w/o me that I would not stand in her way. Her response then was "Let's not rush calling it quits... how about we give each other some breathing room for the rest of January... we'll carry out our plans for February like we planned, like your bday the concert and valentines day, then we'll see where we both stand come March... If we don't end up together, my number one priority is that I don't want to hurt you..." and some other things. I agreed, we said goodnight, and I have not talked to her since.
    We also had a brief bump immediately before the 2 weeks of not seeing each other where she felt our relationship was wavering and blamed it on herself being stressed out at home and with work. She said if I was willing to put up with her mood swings that she didn't plan on going anywhere. I obviously wasn't either.
    So I have not talked to her in a few days, and I have every intention to give her the space she wants. She has always been one to want her alone time, anyways so I understand. My question is: Is this her way of breaking it off with me "gently" or does she genuinely need her space for us to come back around? I've never witnessed a scenario that started with "let's take a break" end well. For the record, fb still says we're in a relationship together so she hasn't changed that. We're both mid 20s with lackluster dating resumes. Sorry for the novel, just wanted to get the most accurate answer.
    Last edited by JCVlle; 16-01-15 at 06:58 PM.

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