Wife of 15 years cheated

[Brokenhearted83]

I just recently found out that my wife of 15 years had an affair. we have 2 children a 13 year old and a one year old. I tried talking to her to give her another chance but she doesn't want to end contact with the other man I still find she deletes text messages and comes home late at night this is my high school love my first and only and I'm in dire need of help what should I do what should I say to keep this
Marriage afloat. I can't picture any life without her and my kids. All my friends are saying to leave but it's not that simple when we have so much history but I don't want to continue to get hurt either. All advice is welcome please hp and thank you in advance to everyone that replies

[Wakeup]

Who babysits your children while she's out ****ing another man? Blunt... well yes but you need a good square kick in the ass to show you that you ENABLE her to be with another man if you're the one who is looking after your children while she galavants around. So... who looks after your children while she is in bed with someone else?

You cannot do ANYTHING to keep your marriage together if she doesn't want to be in it with you. Thing is you give her zero reason to want to be in it with her if you let her have him while living with you and benefiting from your income, your help with the bills, you're feeding her, having a roof over her head for when he tells her to go home, by babysitting and allowing her that freedom.

Go see your lawyer before she takes you to the cleaners both emotionally and financially.

[pcmaster]

Well of course its not simple to leave and it sucks that kids are involved. But should see ending marriage as an option too. have a consultation with lawyer and see you chances to keep kids also consider professional help like counselor or therapist cause you need all support you can get now. You cant continue like this also because you will go crazy. Make ultimatum and stick with it. Show some balls. When you make decision stick with it.

[breathe123]

That's a big gap between kids ~ does having the last baby have anything to do with her infidelity now, did she want the last child or was it by accident? Maybe she began to feel stuck & started rebelling, have her go to therapy with you, imo if she to your face told you she chooses the other man, she probably doesn't love you anymore.

[smackie9]

Maybe that last baby isn't yours.......you better get a paternity test done.

[milk&honey]

If you really want to try and keep this marriage afloat, marriage counselling would be the best option. I know it's a difficult time for you right now...I wish you all the best.

[woody]

Okay. Dear O.P

It is a sad day indeed if we find out the love's of our lives are having an affair. Many would end it; many would not. It sounds to me like you want to make this work yes? Forgiveness would be difficult to achieve and the trust issues will be difficult to say the least and imply much more.
But you love your wife yet for some reason she sought out another man. You would ask yourself possible questions like, "what is she getting from him that she doesn't get from me"?.. Many self doubts would ensue I'm sure.
However, again, you wish to make this work yet she refuses to cut ties to the man in question. Why? Does she want to separate from you? Is this a strictly sexual appetite thing with her?

You have some tough questions and answers to ponder. This is your life. YOu have children with this woman and by all accounts it sounds like you still love her dearly.
As someone else suggested, marriage therapy may help but at the end of the day, if she is unwilling to find a solution, if she is unwilling to work on things with you for the sake of your marriage and your children, you must do what is right for your self and your kids.

I must say, from all the stories I have heard about infidelity, it often happens when either the man or woman of the marriage feels fore granted in some way. The spice they so needed fades.
I cannot stress to you the importance of keeping the romance alive. Both men and women NEED to feel desirable.
I'm not saying what she did was right for it was/is wrong. And I don't know your situation but if your wife had been feeling unattractive or unromanced and this happened over years, she would as many do, seek it elsewhere and this is very sad indeed.
Talk to your wife. get into a therapist but remember, you have a divine right to protect yourself and your children. This is your life. Do what is right for you.
good luck