I'm too adaptive?

[zune]

Question. There's this guy I like, he likes me as well. But he says that I'm too adaptive which makes him hesitant. Can someone please explain what the hell that is supposed to mean?

[basilandthyme]

The best way to find out is to ask him what he means. Perhaps the fact that you're not asking him what he means may well be one of the issues he sees?? To further tease out if your question is relevant to the problem, I'm wondering what stopped you from asking him directly. Serious question: why didn't you ask him already?

Anyway here's my take. A person who is too adaptive will

*change plans to make someone else happy
*happily do what their partner wants and not worry about their own plans
*put their own needs second
*say "whatever makes you happy"
*say "I'm happy if you're happy"

Does this describe you? If yes, then he sees you as a doormat and having no strong opinions of your own. For what it's worth, my hubby dumped the girl before me for this very reason - he said it got really boring. He wanted a girl who knows what she wants and who isn't afraid to ask for it. He wants a girl who push a compromise of "my thing this week and your thing next week".

[SummerNight]

I agree with the previous poster. If you are too adaptive it means that you agree with him too much and it's boring. It seems he likes when a girl puts up a little fight. I get really bored when a girl just says how awesome I am and agrees with everything. I want to tease the girl and I want the girl to tease me back. I want the girl to have her own opinion and that she is not afraid to show it. If she agrees with everything then it shows that she doesn't value herself that much so why should I?

[Wakeup]

Agree with B and T.

You should have asked HIM what he meant so learn that lesson and when you don't understand what someone is meaning, then ask questions. That goes for all situations, not just romantic ones. How will you perform your job if your boss tells you something and you don't know what he means... will you come to a forum full of strangers and ask us what he/she meant? No, you probably wouldn't do that so why did you do it with this guy?

I agree too that you are likely NO challenge to him and perhaps even, he's the type that is only happy when the chick he's seeing is a pain in his ass and filled with drama... If that's the case then he's an immature twat with whom you are far better off without.

[Makkaway]

I don't agree with any of the above.

The truth is: this guy feels like you could get involved in a relationship with pretty much anybody.

Adaptive means: needy.

People who are needy will put their energy in what meets their needs. Basically he doesn't want you because you have the potential of being anybody's doormat.

He expects more than that from a relationship other than sex oriented. I assume that you're not even hot.

[pcmaster]

Maybe he meant that you dont really have backbone and its not clear what you stand for. Like have your own opinion. BTW Makka explains his way oh being adaptive. Hes been adaptive with one girl even not knowing it.

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Maybe he meant that you dont really have backbone and its not clear what you stand for. Like have your own opinion. BTW Makka explains his way oh being adaptive. Hes been adaptive with one girl without even not knowing it.

[Makkaway]

Maybe he meant that you dont really have backbone and its not clear what you stand for. Like have your own opinion. BTW Makka explains his way oh being adaptive. Hes been adaptive with one girl even not knowing it.

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Maybe he meant that you dont really have backbone and its not clear what you stand for. Like have your own opinion. BTW Makka explains his way oh being adaptive. Hes been adaptive with one girl without even not knowing it.

Yeah exactly.

(omg what a stalker).

By the way I have never been adaptive. That's why I dumped her, idiot.

[pcmaster]

Maybe he means you vagina is too stretchy.

[Wakeup]

^^^ lmao: I take back that thanks though if you were talking to the Op and not Makkaway.

[pcmaster]

^^^ lmao: I take back that thanks though if you were talking to the Op and not Makkaway.

Was talking to OP about being too adaptive.