Caution really long story; but please I appreciate you taking the time to read this and help a fellow human being.


I recently broke up with my girlfriend and I still have the urge to talk to her. Should I contact her or respond if/when she does.

note;

1- We were together for almost 4 1/2 years. Did not live together but did everything under the sun together, vacations. etc...
We had a really healthy relationship until about the middle of the 3rd year where I started being extremely busy and she started saying
that I'm always gloomy around her and I'm always going out blah blah blah. A bunch of stuff that should not have escalated to reasons
for her to do what she ended up doing.

2- So later I finds out she was cheating (sex with some guy that she said was nice to her had a bigger peewee, but was broke taking her
money, I saw the moneygram transactions) and forgave her and stayed with her--- I KNEW NOT TO STAY WITH HER.. stupid, but um,
i'm not Mr. Saint myself.

3- I stayed with her but told her she needs to re-gain my trust. Way before when we got together she kinda knew I wasn't much of a Saint.
but she never had any proof that I was actually having sex with anyone else.

4- I later finds out 5 months after the 1st time, she was still involved with the same guy and this time she finally tells me the truth-- which
I knew-- that the dude didn't rape her the 1st time, she (had agreed to it) she has just made a dumb mistake. So I'm like okay we are
seriously done!

5- So we decided to stay friends with a 5% chance of ever getting back together which we somewhat kind of agreed on.

6- 3 months later I find out she is still involved with that guy. The worst part she lied to me about still being involved with him and
soooo many other things since that whole ordeal started with that guy, it's like she became someone that even if I saw her wearing a red
shirt and she claimed her shirt is red I would doubt whether or not she's telling the truth. So I said Screw this I am out. and Cut contact
with her after about 3 weeks of arguing.

7---- This is the 1st IMPORTANT PART; The part that kills me is this dude was supposedly threatening her. Which is partly true. I saw texts and heard convos where the guy would call and say he is going to her mom's address. This dude is a class A stalker. He even found out my address and texted me & threatened me as well. NOTE; My parents new my girl for 3 years and they also found out EVERYTHING because the dude was threatening to go to my parents' house. Anyways, apparently, the 3rd time that she got involved with the dude again ---while we were friends--- it was only because he threatened to hurt her family. The dude even found out her sister's address. So he would make her go see him and then supposedly force her to do stuff.

8---- After I found out that she was cheating with that same dude, I made a promise to not get involved. Such as reporting to the cops, which she did but apparently the cops didn't value the threats. I also would not get a crew with guns to hunt this dude down, nor do voodoo because I saw it as "Hey you chose to hang out with this barf-bag in the first place and opened your legs happily the 1st few times, now that you see his true colors and he went psycho on you, I'm not about to expand my resources to take care of something that you could have avoided." Mind you this dude lives in the slums filled with guns and drugs. So I'm like "I'm not getting involved when you went down that path, we both graduated from college and were about to think of marriage and you went and chose someone with no education and no job to cheat on me with." Nope... I am done with this b.s.

So after about 2 or 3 weeks of ignoring 90% of her calls & texts and arguing when I do respond I completely stopped. She kept calling and texting begging me to listen to her that she knows she f'ed up blazeh-blah but can we be friends I completely ignored. It has been 3 weeks now since she stopped calling and about 5 weeks since I stopped responding. Her birthday was last week and I did not wish her happy birthday.

The 2nd IMPORTANT PART; I have a new girlfriend who loves me to death and has proved it over and over again. Ever since she messed up the second time, which is about 6 months ago, Obviously I knew me and her wouldn't really work out so I kinda got another girl ready. Now right before I said screw her don't ever talk to me again --2 months ago-- this new girl started showing me what pure clean love is. In all honesty I think I love this new girl too --don't tell me it's a rebound love effect. I knew this girl way before--- about 3 years ago, we always had the hots for each other but never hit it off seriously, because well I had a serious girlfriend-- or so I thought.

I had moved to another State --5 hours drive away-- right before I found out that my ex-girlfriend was cheating for a second time. My new girl has come to visit 3 times in the 5 months and is coming again for Valentine's day.


Here is my question;

For some odd reason I CANNOT GET OVER my ex. Here and there memories of what we used to do and what we had planned for our future pop up in my head. It's funny I'm more upset for HOW it ended and not because it ended. I get all this urge to call her and talk to her about **God knows** And my logical side is like no. WHAT DO I DO? It's eating me up inside, I don't want to be with her, it is impossible to ever trust her after all of this! She has been on my mind since we stopped talking. I hang out with friends ALL the time, work over time, play sports and go out 3-4 times a week and I still can't escape thinking about her!! Should I contact her or respond if/when she does??!