Maybe a guys perspective would help? Fresh break up.

[Me325]

Hi all
I'll try and make this short and sweet, my boyfriend of nearly a year and I have split. Things were great to start with around 3 months ago I started to moan because he got comfortable and asked continually why he didn't so the things he used too.

I brought up children and marriage quite a bit and started to get a little funny when he was asking about going on lads holidays. He told me it was all too much and needed space. The next day he text me to say he was collecting his things. I asked him if he had time to think, he said yes and hasn't changed his mind. From then on ignored me.

When he arrived to collect his things I asked him if I could have 5 mins of his time. I said I was sorry for being demanding and causing drama in the relationship mainly because he could say I love you but said he felt it. and that this has been a big wake up call, this is very true. He listened but still insisted he was taking his stuff, I tried to talk while he was taking his things to the car, I asked if he had any feelings left for me he said yes or course there is feelings but I need my own time (we lived together) I asked him how much time he needed and he said he couldn't tell me, and if I felt it was too long to move on and that I should contact him after some time has passed.

After he left I noticed he defriended me on FB and removed all our photos, I was angry at this because is just told him how I feel. I text him to ask if what he said earlier was just him mugging me off and that I noticed he removed me from face book. He did reply and said I'm not mugging you off, if I was i would have blocked you and your number, please leave it.

I feel it's my fault for being demanding in other areas this was just one of them I feel I put pressure on the relationship. I don't know if time will change his mind ultimately he said he has to think whether I'm just saying the things I say to get him back or if I've realised my ways. That and if he thinks it's worth it.

I'm highly confused and could really use some perspective please.

[Wakeup]

Why are you confused? He's clearly spelt it out to you so re-read your own post and it will clarify things for you.

Now for my opinion: I think your relationship is toast so don't be hanging around waiting for him to come running back to you. He may come back but it will be for some familiar sex from someone he knows is still hung up on him and who is probably silly enough to give him uncommitted nukie... (that would be you, M325).

Learn a lesson from this and stop moving in with guys if your ultimate goal is marriage. You enable them to have to NOT marry you when you do that because they get what the need without the marriage when you're shacking up.

You're better off without him. If he's not ready to actually give you what you want with him then really, what is the point of keeping him in your life?

Beware of him coming back just to get a leg over while remaining uncommitted to you. If you have sex with him then you'll be also giving him no reason to even commit at all to you.

[Me325]

I'm confused because he hasn't cut all contact he said he hasn't blocked me nor my number.... And to leave it a while.

[woody]

Dear Lady,
Well without knowing the extent of these so called 'pressures' you think you placed, I'd have to say and you may not like it but lady, sometimes we become more in love with the idea of love. Sometimes when this happens, we're not with the right person and it takes allot of strength to see this and do right by ourselves.

I think you should recognize the possibility that he may not be the right fit for you. From what you did say, you did nothing wrong. You simply brought a few things up that many would do. Even if he felt it was all too soon, too much, if he was the right fit for you, he wouldn't move his stuff out so quick like that or use such lame excuses.

Don't be played. Pick up your pieces, re arrange your furniture and go out with your friends, have a night out...

and I'll agree with WakeUp with the whole, no need to rush the marriage ticket especially when it's so soon after beginning. But i'll also add, when it is the right fit, it is met with open arms from both sides. Again, I believe this is a simple case of being with the wrong person. Don't beat yourself up over it too much.
Learn from this and next time, take your time; real, true and deep connections are earned. Know thy self worth lady and keep your bar and your head held high

[Me325]

It was a lot of pressures about a lot if things.
I feel he needed to escape and be himself which is why he took his things.

I text him about remove me from face book after asking if he was mugging me off and to be honest because I need to know.

He replied with if I was it would have been blocked FB and number. Just leave it please.

He chose to reply, he didn't have to but he did????

- - - Updated - - -

Yes I brought up a few things but these few things I brought up constantly.

[woody]

Don't become desperate. If your worried you went over the top with constant concerns and pushing things too far, then you freaked him out and he needs space but IF you really, truly want him back? well then, don't be desperate. Show and prove through actions that your alright. Don't linger, don't mass text the poor guy. Show him you are getting on with your life, your happy and just fine thank you very much. When he senses your pulling back, it may, (may) allow him to actually believe your a confident, strong and together woman that he'd be a fool to let go of all together.

Still, I can't help but feel you need to work on yourself and find out why these concerns flood your mind so much as they do in the first place. Confidence is key. Show him some confidence and go no contact for a spell of time. See what happens when you put some power back on your own plate instead of giving it all away.

[Me325]

Don't become desperate. If your worried you went over the top with constant concerns and pushing things too far, then you freaked him out and he needs space but IF you really, truly want him back? well then, don't be desperate. Show and prove through actions that your alright. Don't linger, don't mass text the poor guy. Show him you are getting on with your life, your happy and just fine thank you very much. When he senses your pulling back, it may, (may) allow him to actually believe your a confident, strong and together woman that he'd be a fool to let go of all together.

Still, I can't help but feel you need to work on yourself and find out why these concerns flood your mind so much as they do in the first place. Confidence is key. Show him some confidence and go no contact for a spell of time. See what happens when you put some power back on your own plate instead of giving it all away.

Yes I do need to do that and I am working on it, I could see what was happening I lost my confidence and started to worry about everything. And pushed this on him. I do hope that he will come round and see I know I put this pressure on and exactly what it caused. I'm concerned that he has said from past experience issues don't go away they come back again. But it's hit home so hard that I know I wouldn't put myself through this again.

It's been so hard these few days, trying so hard to not contact him.
I haven't since the text i mentioned earlier, I've been talking to a few people who have pointed out a few of my inner issues and they have given me advice also, I very grateful for anyone's time. He has said he needs he space I'll respect that and give it to him. I just hope that he doesn't mean it when he said he I didn't want us those few days ago. And that he is being since with his words while saying of course there's feelings there and he just needs his own time right now that it's honest.

[woody]

I would imagine a little time, space is just what the two of you need.

Remember, people say hurtful things when their hurting, things they don't really mean. Keep up the no contact and let the healing room have the space it needs.
Go do some stretching. Some Hatha Yoga or something. Pamper yourself and balance.
Everything will be alright