Older man

[Lcsmain]

Hi. Several months ago I met a man while away on business for 8 weeks. We were working together. He is 33, I'm 25. We were both in long term relationships but there was an instant attraction and we ended up sleeping together regularly for six weeks of the trip but keeping it from our other colleagues. On returning to the UK we met on several occasions and then both broke up with our partners. Since then we've seen each other another couple of times. I'm crazy about him and very keen for the relationship to develop but he seems to think the age is a problem. He's at a place where he wants to settle down and have children. I want the same things as him but he doesn't seem to think I do. He says he's not sure we're in a place to make each other happy, despite saying he's crazy about me and that we have an undeniable connection. I want him so much but I don't want to force anything. I honestly feel like I've met my soulmate having been in several long term relationships. It's still a secret from people we know. What's best to do? X

[drleo]

the best to do if you real want what he wants bring up a simple discussion about the things you like mention every thing (like having kids settle down etc...) then you will get you feed back if it all matches then take you self lucky that you have just hit a jack pot if he doesn't fell the same way as you feel at least you will be relived.

[USAbro]

Ditto ^ yep you should tell him how you feel. If he likes you a lot and you him, then he needs to know that asap.

[smackie9]

He's having regrets letting things with you get this far....it was more fun and exciting doing this behind his GFs back....all that sneaking around, feeling all naughty. Now that it has become a committed relationship, the interest is frittering away......it is starting to become boring, that's why he is back peddling, and doesn't see a future with you....his explication is utter bull s hit.....he is slowly sending you off.

[vashti]

I don't see this "age gap" as inappropriate in the least, so I agree with smackie - for whatever reason, he is blowing you off... probably because relationships built on deception don't usually work out.

[Wakeup]

You're a cheater. Of course he's going to lose respect for you (double standard). I'm surprised you haven't lost the same for him knowing that he's capable of going for a jump with a stranger while on business. How would you ever trust him when he's out of your sight?

[michelle23]

He used you as a way out of an unhappy relationship. Its what cowards do. They need something to leave for even if it is only meaningless, temporary sex. He doesn-t see you as the wife type coz your a cheater (so is he but the shallow twat likely blames you, not himself)

Anyway this was never gonna be more than a fling. You were/are delusional to think an affair like this would go anywhere.

And even if it did, how could you trust him after what happened between you? How could he ever trust you? Relationships like this are built on weak foundations and usually don't last..