ex wants me back?

[nimPy]

i broke up with my girlfriend yesterday. Lately she has been bottling things up and everytime i asked her what was wrong and she would say "nothing" or "i'm fine", and obviously that means something. i'm always trying to make her happy and do things her way. I quit my weekend job a while ago to spend more time with her and even gave up one of my close friend for her because she hates him. Lately she hasnt been showing any affection or even wanna talk to me. Didn't pick up phone or called me. So i decided to end it with her yesterday.

Today, I pretend i was "gone" like No Contact. I wasn't online or picked up her calls today. So she asked my best friend where am i and am i mad and stuff. Like an hour ago she told my best friend to tell me that she is very sorry. So i'm thinking... should i wait it off some more or talk to her tomorrow? I want her to think really hard to herself that what she's been doing lately is wrong. I love her to death and i would have never thought of breaking up with her. It's like i had never said "no" to her and always gave in.

Please help me and give me advice.

[Mish]

Hi nimPy

I think you may need to give her an opportunity to improve before breaking up with her. I think you need to seat down with her and get everything out in the the open and onto the table. If she does not want to open up and does not explain why she is acting so cold and reverts to her ussual methods then you have to make it very CLEAR to her that this relationship will end.

My ex used to act in this way and it really drove me insane. She did it more selfishly though. She wouldn't tell me what the problem was and say something like you have to KNOW yourself what it is i am unhappy about at any given point in time (I did not know i was qualified for a mind reading position). In any case i think you have to give her a chance to improve and to understand the severity of the situation if she doesn't. Breaking up in the heat of the moment really doesn't help much and only adds to the weight of the problem.

Hope above helps!!!

[Ellynn]

Did you tell her you were breaking up with her? Or did you decide to just avoid her and hope she would get the hint?

You must tell her if you haven't....and it is also important to let her know why you are doing this. Tell her how you feel.... with her standoffish behavior. Then let her know that is the reason that you are doing it....

[TAVS]

You gave up a friend for her? Wow man. I'd never give up a good friend for a girl....Well unless it was an ex-gf or something that made my current gf jealous

[nimPy]

She is still the greatest person to me even though lately she's been acting cold as mentioned above. When you love someone you kinda do things out of the ordinary for the one you love. I say so much great things about her to everyone and they always want to tape my mouth shut.

I did break up with her unfortunately, and perhaps she wants to talk things out. She is very stubborn and think she is always right.... maybe up until now she realizes she is wrong. I'll talk to her today

[Lloyd95]

You gave up a friend for her? Wow man. I'd never give up a good friend for a girl....Well unless it was an ex-gf or something that made my current gf jealous

Ditto this. Never give up a close friend for a girl.
1) It's just plain wrong.
2) It sets a precedence for later that you gave up something important for her once, and she will now expect you to give up things for her in the future.

[pepsi55]

My Girlfriend is acting in the very same way it so winds me up i feel like I'm the problem I'm like you i love her to bits and do would do anything for her but lately Ive put so much effort in the next day Ive been think why do i bother i love her yes but the way she is acting cold and moody i don't deserve.

Ive asked her whats wrong so many times same answer I'm fine stop been paranoid then she goes quiet for the rest of the night and doesn't even talk.

The thing what as pissed me off this is the second time this as happened i gave up someone who i really liked and got on well with to give us a second chance because i know we love each other deep down.

Then she starts acting funny again i ain't phoned her or text her today and she ain't me oh well just see what happens.

But some advice if she wants you back find the real reason she is acting the way she is to wards you obviously its your choice to take her back but at the moment for the second time I'm confused and thinking why did i bother

[nimPy]

my ex said she will never fall in love again as i broke her heart for leaving her when she was all stressed out... i feel like an *******.. shes been acting cold towards me because of her personal stress.... is that an excuse?

I hurted her a lot on this one... i am very sorry for it too

[TAVS]

She's trying to make you feel guilty. You know damn well she will move on with her life. Leaving someone you sorta care about is very hard... in fact, I once dumped a girl and then went back with her for just that reason. I felt really bad. Then 3 yrs later she left me...soo.....Don't get me wrong, things changed for the better in that time, just an interesting story.

[nimPy]

as confusing as this might sound... i want her back. I left her when she needed support the most..... she's going through a lot of depression and i left her simply because she acted cold towards me. She's still a great person overall. I tried talking to her but she is very sick at the moment and won't be talking for atleast a week more or so. I made promises not to hurt her again before and broke it now... she is really hurt because of this. erghhh i don't know what to do! please help

[equivo]

If you really want to be with her again, go for it. But don't expect it to be the same, and prepare for it to screw up some time in the near future. I find relationships never work out after any kind of break up.

[nimPy]

i'll make sure me and her get everything straighten out.... before we jump back into a relationship i'll make sure we talk it out like what happened and why it happened... i'll tell her i was being a jerk to her as i do feel like i was.

[may9988]

Seems like you know what you are doing, I would say go for it if that is what will make you happy.

Just to let you know I am in the same situation as girlfriends talked about here, we became silent and cold because there are many BIG underlying issues and felt trapped and helpless. This is because we didn't feel the guys will want to do anything to change. So we avoided talking about them and became silent and cold.

I hope you will be able to gain enough trust from her to get her to open up. You have my best wishes.

[nimPy]

thank you May... i think time and patience is what i really need here... i was being very stupid to think that she was losing interest... sigh i'm a mess! i'll keep you guys updated

[nimPy]

ok i spoke to her for a little bit yesterday, but only to tell me to "go away." I have courtdate on the 15th. Think she will talk to me on the 14th and tell me how she feels? There is a slim chance i'll get probation. Her friend said once she feels better she will find ways to contact me one way or another. I wish she would comfort me right now as I am very scared of what's going to happen. I wish she would say "hey... you know what... i'll take another shot at this..... i don't want to leave you... and i'll stay by your side no matter what." Yea I must be dreaming