loving two people

[confused1227]

Okay. So, I had my first child 2 years ago with my highschool sweetheart, we've been together 4 on and off. (Months at a time we aren't together because sometimes we fight and its gets bad, no physical abuse or anything like that just fighting.) I love him with all of my heart, I really do, but things got bad in at the beginning April 2014 and we broke up again. I met this man and starting developing feelings for him, I figured it wouldn't be anything, just sex. For both of us. Well, the first time he and I had sex, on June 1st, 2014.

I got pregnant. (Yeah I know condoms, but sometimes the spur of the moment takes over and it happens, and I don't regret it.) The guy and I were just friends, so i figured he wouldn't want more, and he said he didnt. So, my first baby's father and I are trying to work things out but, over the last nine months, before the birth of my second daughter, the feelings I had for her father developed into serious love feelings. I gave birth, and now, he wants more with me. I'm stuck between loving them both. Ive been with my 1st daughters father so long, I don't know if I'm just comfortable anymore.

I love him, I do, but now there's love for two people in my heart. Its not fair to either of them I know.l, I just don't know what to do anymore. I have not slept with my second daughters father since summer, so this isn't a case of cheating. I feel really guilty about having feelings for guy two, when I'm trying to work on this with my highschool sweet heart. I just can't help it. I love them both for different reasons. They are very different from eachother. I'm so confused.

[dontaskme]

What do you want in your life? Who are you more compatible with?

Don't start anything with guy [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2]#2[/URL] until you figure out what you really want. If you think your confuse now, then your world will really be spinning in full motion if you start having a sexual relationship with both men.

[snoopy1983]

well, obviously there are problems between you and your high school sweetheart, or you wouldn't have broken up with him on and off. This is probably a sign that the relationship is not as it should be, but you are attached to him since you've been with him for some years already. So yes, you're probably just comfortable.

I personally don't feel comfortable that guy [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2]#2[/URL] would say he's not interested in wanting more after it turns out you are pregnant. That doesn't inspire much confidence in this guy. You want someone reliable, dependable that you love and cherish. I don't know enough about the story to say either one is better.

Who do you really love? Who is the one you can talk to about your problems and fears? Who is the one that makes you laugh? Who is the one that makes your heart pound faster when he is close? Who is the one that will hold you when you cry? Who is the one you feel sexually attracted to? Who is the one that will love and support you and sees a future with you? That is the one you should choose

[smackie9]

Guy [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1]#1[/URL] you should never have been with (off and on means it's not going to work), and guy [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2]#2[/URL] was just a fling( you were desperate to have someone don't kid yourself). You need to stay away from men for awhile and focus on what in more important....your children, because they NEED YOU to focus on them....not worrying over which guy to be with. They don't need someone that's a hot mess over two guys.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh and get on the pill or patch since you can't control yourself or the guy you are about to have sex with.

[Wakeup]

What Smackie said:

To add: You should seriously consider getting counselling because you confuse love with lust and you don't have enough self-worth to know that when you argue with someone and they don't come back to you for months on end, it means that they don't actually respect you much nor do they care all that much about you. You're currently with him because you don't have the means (the financial or the life skills) to take care of yourself and your children on your own.

The other guy didn't think enough about you or his child to want to be with you and he very quickly washed his hands of both of you so why you're even thinking twice about him makes me think that you're missing the sex which I stated earlier, you mistake for love.

I hope you are with it enough to be getting child support payments from dick-hole number 2. Just because he didn't want to be in the child's life doesn't mean he gets to shuck his financial responsibilities for her. Tell us he is supporting her financially.

I'd venture that the "more" babydaddy No. 2 wants with you is just more uncommitted and unsafe sex with you... it's easy to say he wants more with you when he thinks you're settled in with babydaddy No. 1.

[michelle23]

An on/off relationship should not last 4years.. its a sign your not good together if you keep breaking up and then you both couldn't even keep it together after the child which shows a lack of maturity/responsibility. Why do you continue this dysfunction with a man you cannot tolerate for months at a time? It is not fair to have so much instability around your child. Break up for good and be done with it and both of you focus on co-parenting.

As for the other guy, your just settling again coz you do not like being alone.. you need to get over guy 1 completely before you are ready to start anything with anyone else.. no more back and forth