Confused

[bluelabel]

There's this guy who liked me during our JC days, but after spending some time with him, I realised we would be better off as friends. Hence, i tried to distance myself from him. Didn't want to lead him on. After A levels, we started talking more again and i told him about my eyecandies etc. I even reenforced the idea that we can never work out, by telling him i used to like him a bit before, but now we're just girlfriends. He agreed with me and i thought that was all to it. Everything was resolved, and there won't be anymore awkward moments with each other. But after that, we still met up and he continued to do nice things for me. I was quite surprised at those nice gestures, and would quickly pull away from the situation if it was a blatant bf&gf gesture. Recently he texted me to ask if we would ever be anything more, and i told him no. After that, i could feel that he treated me differently. He felt more distant and cold. He was quite bad to me in my opinion, and i hated that. Like friends can still do nice things for each other? That was when i felt a bit abandoned. I'm not sure if i miss being treated nicely, or if i really like him anymore. cos nowadays i just crave for his attention. I know deep inside that this is bad and it does not mean that i like him, but i can't help but think of it as a what if thing. What if i do like him? After all, i have to admit that he really knows me very well. To the extent that i, myself would be quite shocked. What if i never meet anyone who knows me so well? I'm not even sure if i'll ever like someone, cos i have never liked someone that i can see myself with in the future. What should i do? should i just give it a go and go out with him, with the risk of losing this friendship? and even so, how do i even do it, after i told him no?

[smackie9]

OK first off you never ever tell a guy friend when you are rejecting to sugarcoat it with "I used to like him a bit before....." This gives them hope that there still a change to rekindle that. You have to be blunt. If it makes them go away whatever...you are being selfish keeping him around anyways because he has feeling for you.

And NO YOU CAN'T SAY FRIENDS! Once they have feelings for you it is no longer a friendship, it's a guy that is in love with a girl and the girl doesn't feel the same way period.

The only reason you "might" feel something for him is because he has cut you off....no more attention....attention that you should be getting from a real BF.

Tip: the only reason guys are your friends is that they are too insecure to ask you out, so they be your friend, treat you like as if you were their GF in hopes you will fall in love with them. Their intentions are not friendship, they have a romantic interest.

Leave the poor guy alone. He needs to heal his heart and get over you.

Next time when a guy starts fluttering around you letting himself be your emotional tampon, remember he isn't into it for friendship......so stop using him, tell him good bye.

[michelle23]

You are being selfish expecting him to bury his feelings and act like hes okay just being friends when he obviously isn't.. the right thing to do would be to cut all contact so he can get over you and move on and find someone who does want more with him.

You just like the attention coz it feeds your ego and its quite cruel and immature. Grow up.

Men don't want to be your friend. Why would they? If hes friendly with you, it means hes interested so either date him or cut him off. Stop creating drama and BS. He only stuck around in the hope that you would develop feelings. Don't pretend you don't know that. Stop being an attention whore