His Girl Best Friend

[stephtp]

Hi all.

This is a topic that has been bothering me for the past six months and I'm about ready to break. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. We're happy and have no problems in our relationship, except for his best friend. I used to get along with her quite well, but we had a falling out after some drama at her birthday party. I was at fault and I owned up to it. Since then, she has been rude and disrespectful to me. We do not openly fight, but there is a great deal of tension whenever we are in the same room together and she's always making underhanded comments and some blatantly cruel ones. An example of this is that one night, my boyfriend, his friends - including the best girl friend - and I were having a night in with drinks and games. We were playing 'Never Have I Ever' - not the wisest decision, I know - and she asked, "Never have I ever showed my breasts for free drinks." When no one drank, she laughed and said, "Oh, wow! I definitely thought Steph would have drank for that?" Everyone, including my boyfriend, laughed it off, but I took deep offence to it, especially because he did not say a word in my defence. I have since talked to the girl about her behaviour, but she always claims that it's in my boyfriend's defence because of the events that occurred on her birthday.

I do not want to be the type of girl that tells my boyfriend who he can and cannot be friends with, but frankly, I cannot even stand the thought of them being in the same room together. It's gotten so bad, that I've started getting paranoid about them hanging out alone together. Not once did I feel this way before we had our falling out, but now, it's a source of great anxiety. I cannot ignore the fact that she's overly reliant on him, she's manipulative towards him and the rest of her friends, and she pretty much brings drama with her wherever she went. The bottom line for me was her calling him a week ago at 3am - while I was in bed with him - crying and claiming that she had something put in her drink during a night out, begging him to come and pick her up. It was a lie, as she had simply had too much to drink and had gotten stuck an hour away from her house with no money to get home; a decision she made, knowing that was what would happen.

I want him to be done with her so bad, but I'm scared that saying anything will push him away from me. I truly believe that she is a toxic person and that he does not need her in his life. Can I say anything without seeming like a controlling girlfriend, or should I suffer in silence until he comes to this decision on his own? Any insight would be appreciated, as I have absolutely no idea what to do any more.

[smackie9]

Just tell him what you just posted here. If you put it into perspective for him, like if the roles were turned around and you had a male friend pulling off the same crap as she did what would he think?

[michelle23]

Did you say they hang out alone together? And you were okay with that? Seriously? That makes me wonder has something already happened? She sounds like an attention whore/flirt and has obviously crossed boundaries.. she wouldn't think twice about sleeping with him behind your back.. the question is how much do you trust him? If you really believe he has not crossed any lines so far then tell him either she goes or you do and mean it. Or else just leave now if you suspect hes already done something..

Reminds me if a colleague who is "too close" to one of our male colleagues. Shes a skank and has been with everyone.. when his gf was visiting relatives and out of town for a week, he was caught in bed with the "friend" by her room mates.. the sickening thing is that this girl pretends to be his gfs best friend too and is so fake and nice to her. Shes a cunt! But hes worse to allow it to happen

Anyway my point is follow your gut. If you think shes a problem then shes a problem and you would not be out of line to tell him how you feel and expect he puts you first. You are his partner and should come first and he will only have a problem ditching her if there is more going on than you think