Best way to tell a potential partner you have an upper limit on ex partners?

[vashti]

My upper limit would be 12, partly based on the fact that men have 7x the testosterone level.

That's kind of a dumb argument, since testosterone is not the driving factor in women's sex drive.

[url]http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/estrogen-plays-key-role-revving-women-sex-drives-study-article-1.1330163[/url]

[Polemic]

[QUOTE=vashti;1008626]That's kind of a dumb argument, since testosterone is not the driving factor in women's sex drive.

No, its to do with the levels of testosterone that they are exposed to as a fetus, after that all women's levels go back to normal.

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Thanks for the reply, I know about a lot of the warning signs for these types of girls now, which will probably be enough, studies have consistently showed that women lie about this subject a lot. The point is that a girl who has slept with a ton of guys will always lie so I think asking is pretty much a dead end.

i think building trust with one of her friends and asking in a super tactical and subtle way, I could ask a bunch of seemly unrelated question which I could used to build up some idea of probability.

[dickriculous]

I understand that paranoia can ruin a relationship, which is why I want to deal with the issue off the bat before things go further.

You're still missing the point. When you say "deal with the issue right off the bat" you imply that "the issue" is not anything inside of you that causes you to be this way, it is the number of partners your woman has. This means you are putting all of the responsibility for your emotional distress on the number of partners your woman has and accepting none of it yourself. And that means you're still running away from your demons. A woman with under 12 partners isn't going to solve your problems. The only difference is you'll have a woman with fewer than 12 partners while you still have all of the same issues that you have now. And the issues you have that are responsible for you being the way that you are still has the potential to ruin future relationships.

If you really think that a woman with under 12 partners will make such a sturdy crutch that she will make you the lone exception to the rule of which I speak then best of luck to you. You're going to need it.

[breathe123]

Thnaks for your reply.

I agree that they can just lie and there would be nothing that I can do about it, which is why I have stayed away from relationships for the last 5 or so years. Its not what I want but the though of being with a "promiscuous" girl is too unpleasant for me me to be worth taking the risk. Do you think that If i gained the trust of one of their friends, they might at least give me a clue as to her true nature?

Women ALWAYS talk to each other so expect that gf to tell her friend you were asking questions & what the exact questions were & they can probably guess if they have half a brain what you are trying to find out, & if you really like the girl & she is under the limit you want you might lose out because of that tactic you chose.

I only think girls who haven't had or do not like LT relationships would have over 20 plus partners by a certain age & lots of people do not just jump right into bed with another after heartbreak, they space it out. So maybe 10 by 25 is possible if they had sex at 17 or around. You can't ever really know, some could be 28 & 40 partners or 28 & 4 partners. Not everyone only wants sex, but lots do, so depends on want of love over sex I guess.

[basilandthyme]

I think building trust with one of her friends and asking in a super tactical and subtle way, I could ask a bunch of seemly unrelated question which I could used to build up some idea of probability.

Breathe123 is right: Expect her friend to tell your intended all about the conversation. If you were going to gauge one of my friends by the number of guys she'd slept with, I'd be telling my friend exactly what I thought of you. And it wouldn't be pretty.

[Polemic]

Honestly I don't think you would really know for the question that I would ask. That is unless you had read a load of related studies, which most normal people would have not. Also in most groups of friends, there is a good chance that one of her friends will be attracted to you and would probably be more inclined to drop the truth as many women are super competitive in this regard.

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I agree with the LT relationships thing and to be fair most girls seem to admit this kind of thing freely as opposed to the number of partner issue. Im thinking this should be my second most reliable arbiter. Thanks

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I've waited 5 years to get over it and I don't have any intention of waiting any longer. There is no way I could feel comfortable and relaxed with this type of girl. I never had these issues before one of my ex's told me she had 5 pervious partners and it turned out to be over 50 in the end, she was only 17 at the time. My line now is that anything is possible so be prepared.