My online relationship.

[pcmaster]

Well this is very common thing. Many guys come to a forum and ask - "How do I get this one girl. Shes the one." But the thing is if you have no expierence you cant make one girl your goal because you gona fail. Instead its better to become good with girls in general.
Check this video at 29:14


youtu.be/JPCU03Dp8Zw?t=29m14s

I think this is pretty much your case except that you want a guy not a girl.

[woody]

Okay. Some may say I'm enabling you or something like that but I am a fan of romance and mister, you've got it going on.

Good news everyone!. He is still in contact with you yes? Well that's a very good sign. Now is the time to take things in stride; you have not lost him; he is still in communication with you and fairly often so don't get all wrapped up in pushing him for answers... They will come. You must allow things to progress naturally and have some confidence that this is just going to happen, no matter what obstacles may come, nothing will deter this... Nothing. You must have faith in both you and him.

PC master has much good and heartfelt insights as well from many angles.

I'll add some too. A few questions first though. Does he know your GrandMother passed away (my condolences btw) on the day you broke up with him? And does he understand that while you dig him to bits, like him so very much that you are indeed compromising your own values (at least somewhat) to get involved with a man who has a bf already? (albeit a bf he wishes would just be a friend) he still hasn't done the due and become single again. Does he get how that can and may be putting you in an awkward and somewhat vulnerable state? Yet you continue to adore him because he's worth it?. That says allot on the level of care you feel towards him. Does he understand this?

Next. You say he has some personal 'stuff' going on right now. Like what? Pending what it is, if he's stuff to deal with, then he must have the time and space to do so and you must not take it personally if that means a little less for you, at least a little less for you for now. He'll respect that you show the confidence to allow him to do what ever it is he needs to do.

Finally, I do not understand the inner workings of same sex couples compared to opposite gender folks. But there's the whole 'needy' issue. I don't know about you fellas but for me?, whenever i've been in a past relationship where someone is uber needy and almost desperate, well, big fuggin turn off. Not saying your the needy one. Okay? I'm not saying that. I'm simply suggesting that you dose yourself with a hefty amount of confidence.... Show him, your doing just fine thank you very much.... Do you like him allot? Sure you do. Will you pine for him 24/7 waiting by the phone or keyboard? Hell no....
Would he be a lucky man to have someone like you in his life. Abso(fuggin)lutely.

Tap into the good feelings. When you and he are laughing, sharing a good time, tap into that feeling and take it with you wherever you go.
and then there's this. Your not the only one in this duo that's feeling this unique bond forming. He is too and don't you forget that; and usually when people feel this uniquely special connection, they do not walk away from it. You must trust in the Universe and by Universe I mean you. You and Him.
Allow nature to take its course and trust that what will be will be.

Hope that helps a little.

[Wakeup]

My advice to you is to get off the computer (including cutting yourself off of your habit of playing WoW for days on end, skyping your life away and sitting watching movies "in sync" and instead watch them with someone who is sitting at your side, with his arm around you and sharing your bowl of popcorn... Go out and find a real man that doesn't have another man hiding in the background that he is cheating on. A man that wouldn't NEVER do that kind of thing to someone but instead would break up with them if they are not happy in the relationship... not hang onto someone they claim to be miserable with but stay anyway and have fantasy sex over a computer with behind their partners back.

Why would you even want someone like that back? If they've done it with you then chances are very high that they will also do it to you when he gets bored with the routine sex with you.

You live in Serbia. Find a man there that wants what you want and is single and able to actually give it to you because he doesn't haven another man that he is committed to who lives with him thousands of miles away from you.

[Dni]

First, I really want to thank you all for taking your time to answer me.

Now, a few things I want to explain, I'm not gay to begin with. The love that I have for him was on a spiritual level, I did not know how he looks, I only knew how he thinks, what he likes, and I decided to overcome the fact that it is a he. But then, I need to say this cause I feel it is really important, he is not a he. He is a girl that wants to transition into a guy. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have blinked before I would have ended things and searched for someone else, but I fell in love with the person I was talking to every day. Don't get me wrong, I've seen how he looks, and he saw me, and I'm calling him a "him" because that is what he wanted me to do, but right now, when I wake up, I just can't but not think about him, I think about him every day, he is under my skin. I also had past relationships, I never ever felt strongly like this for someone before.

I changed so many things, and now thanks to PCmaster, I understand how much I changed myself for him, but as well that I had no value for myself, and in that way no values for him either. I lost track of my life because, I have nothing in life except him, and I understand the pressure now, so to off load that pressure I've left the game that we were playing so that he can have fun in it. I was obsessed with him, but I fear that that obsession came from the fact that he scared me with becoming cold, wanting distance and other things. I was afraid that my thread of happiness in life will go away from me, and that the time will split us apart, that he would lose his feelings for me, I did not believe in him and the Universe. But I pulled myself up from the ashes, I started to run and work out again, I regained contact with all my former friends because I left them behind to be with him. I understand now where I was wrong, needless to say that I have already fixed a lot of things, could say that I even spiritually healed.

But I'm afraid that the only thing I'm doing now is keeping pressure on him at the moment which I will stop. I want to talk to him once more, and for the final time, this time no tears. The last time I will cry in front of him will be when he either takes me back or pushes me away. I have no idea how much more time it will take him, he admitted as well that he has feelings for me but that he doesn't want to act on them, he wants to suppress them deep down. He told me he is taking his time, and it is not up to me to make him change his mind, I already did everything I could from my side, it is now up to him to forgive me and take me back if he truly loves me.

You might doubt that I have changed already, but I was already giving him more and more space, I've quit the game so that he would have that, I wouldn't talk to him while he works unless he calls me up. But the fact that I think about someone so much like this is really scaring me, because non of my past relationships made me feel so alive, so important and loved and wanted.

I will just tell him for the last time, this time with confidence and with no fear that I do understand what I've lost, I do understand where I was wrong but that it is not just me that is in a loss as well, and that he needs to realize that himself.

He was not treating me good either, and if he loves me like he said he did, because he told me he loved me 3-4 hours before the break up then, he needs to step aside of his pride as well, admit what happened and either try again, where we both matured with the realization of where we were wrong. Because I'm waiting for an answer that probably won't come in, the way he is, in a month's time and I don't want to waste my whole month just chasing after him and giving him attention when he wants it, I need it too.

I will remember everything with a smile, every time I look at the sky, I remember him saying once: "look through the window into the sky, see that, we are under the same sky". I will just for the last time remind him of all the fun things that we had before and then slowly continue forwards, but of course, if he decides that I am what he wants in life, then I wanna try things again because I love him.

- - - Updated - - -

And yeah, he knew my grandmother died, and he did not want us to keep contact for a period of time anyways because he was the one needing space which hurt me the most and was the trigger of me asking for a break up, he knew everything that has happened on that day and how I felt, I basically lost it because I had 3 hours of sleep and I was an emotional wreckage.

[pcmaster]

Well man you plan to visit Canada but I think by the time you get there she will already became a man.
Thats interesting however calling girl he. From beginning I thought that he is she just our English might be bad so you said he instead of she.

Good that you are moving on because you need it. It will be a new maturity level for you.
You see this girl gave you energy to dream, to become a better man, find your goals in life make a smart decisions for yourself. You want to have these things also without him in your life. I mean its easy to be a good person when theres someone you really love in your life. But without that person it all boils down to you. You have to love yourself even more than anyone else and what you do when no one sees is really who you are. I mean its important to have a strong drive for life also when you are alone because that shows who you are. Thats the problem with many guys. Being with a girl gives them that strong drive to succeed but when girls leaves dumps them they are broken, in tears and cant function anymore.
Its sucks but girls wants guys who don't need them to succeed and be happy life, they don't want pussies who depend on them on these things.
At some degree no one can be completely alone. Some things are not possible to do being alone thats why you want your supports system like family and friends - healthy social environment around you that helps and supports you. When you didn't met your friends to spend more time with him you did a usual beginners mistake because its not good idea to give up friends or family for someone you love. Next time you will be smarter I think.

[Dni]

I want to ask you something. Do you think he is worth it? He knew my grandmother died, he knew how jealous I was about his boyfriend. I started questioning my sexuality because of him. I started accepting him and changing because I wanted to make him happy. I want to know, am I worth it? Am I worth something at all? Or the question would better be, should I feel special?

One thing that is haunting me, is that I did so many things for him because of my love for him. I told him one day that I felt that he might be "the one" on which he replied that he doesn't believe in soul mates and that I am special, but not as much as I think. I am 1 in a Million. He told me that there are 7 Billion people on this planet and that me being 1 in a Million still doesn't change the fact that I am one of the 7000 special people.

Also he is constantly poking me on Facebook, is he playing with me?

Could I have really hurt him that deep when I broke up?

I have one last thing that I want to show him, which I will do sooner or later, and I will share it here as well. It is his birthday present that I thought of as a "perfect gift". Drawings of me and him when he transitions from female to male and how we would look like together as a couple. At least I want him to have that so that he can have a memory of me.

Bottom line is, why I'm here. I'm questioning if I pulled myself up to the sky too high? Please answer and sorry for reopening this thread. I indeed am trying to move on slowly, it is just one of those things I want to know before I can finally let go.

[pcmaster]

Of course you did fly too close to the sun. Your wings melted and you fell. Think that you just loved him too much. One of the proof for that is that you even gave up your friends for a moment for him. Don't think hes worth it because all the times when hes been cold or unsupportive showed his feelings at that moment for you.
Think poking on FB is just so you wont forget about him. Bet he wants attention to boost his ego. I think with breakup you mostly hurt yourself.
However I think its kinda gay to love girl that wants to be a guy. When he will become guy it will be really gay so you better move on until that.
You should feel special because your story is unusual and you seem to be a nice person. Shouldn't be a problem for you to find other girl.

Dont worry about thread it stays open 1 month since last post so you can post in here till it gets closed and if its gets closed you can open a new thread with link to this thread if you have any updates.

[breathe123]

^ that isn't true pcmaster ~ threads close after one month not three. Check off topics, takes one month no posts it locks automatically. People have been complaining about this since I joined.

[pcmaster]

Thanks breathe. Dont use this forum much lately so could mistaken. Im now using mostly forum where threads never closing lol.

[bcgirl]

I think that this he-she is just playing you. You are not "in love" with him. You are in love with being in love. You don't even know this person, you have never actually met this person. You've spent too much time online in a fantasy world of sexting, skyping and all those temporary serotonin boosters. This is soooo far fetched from what a real relationship is. You have given too much, thought, energy, self change for someone that doesn't exist. Your imagination has made this mystery person into this godly creature you just are so in love with and have to have. It's all an illusion.

Reality and truth is that this he-she doesn't want you. He is toying with your emotions because he can and he probably has way too much time on his hands. you should watch that documentary "catfish."

[maryapple]

Sometimes, it's better not to follow any advice. When it turns to feelings, real feelings, you should just respond to your soul. You have an experience, good and bad memories with him - what's now? It just adds up to your mental attitude to a person, to how you estimate him. And, without doubts, that's precious. Still, you're the same girl inside, you fall in love, your heart tells you first and then your mind. Be careful, be very aware of his life, but if you have feelings - try to rely on your heart! Try one more time with him! VERY PROBABLY, the try will bring you nothing, but you won't regret that you haven't taken the chance. Some other singles, even with more life experience, but still boys in their heart, can be found here [url]https://kovla.com/datings/us/phoenix[/url] Just dare!

[Dni]

Well, thank you everyone for the help and advices that you gave me. I waited and I wanted to give it another try, but it is not gonna happen because E is not willing to be in a relationship atm. E claims that he can get everything from his friends, that the only person that was thinking of him in a relationship is me and no one else, with a replay of "what would be the difference if I broke up with him". I realized that E is immature to be in a relationship and that I've given far too much for someone who is on another end of the planet. However things are not super great as I still have feelings for E and they will go away only with time. I got in contact with other people, I started running, working out, I started a course in Swedish language. I filled up my day that was completely empty, that was only filled up with him.

I still wanted us to stay friends because I am indeed planning on moving to Canada in minimum half a year time and I would like to have someone there. However, it is still a bit difficult for me, despite me moving on in life, forgetting about everything I still have him in my contacts. Yesterday E contacted me for the first time after the break up (after a month time) to tell me that he realized that his emotional needs can be fulfilled by friends. He is with his friends now, but no friend is a substitute for a lover, he won't be the person who wakes up next to you and goes to sleep every day, who you can depend on, sure, but not any day, any time.

I really love the expression of "You are in love with being in love" which is really true, because, I missed those feelings for a long time, but I do have feelings for E, strong feelings of love. I am a loyal person, who will give everything he has to the people he loves, and that is how I was feeling for E a lot.

I left him with a statement, that he still doesn't understand true love, that he is immature to be in a relationship, but once he feels like he wants to try again, he knows where to find me. I've pushed for the two of us to be friends, but he doesn't want us to be "close friends" he just wants us to be friends (in my head acquaintances).

I wanted to give you guys an update, for everyone who wanted to know how this thing turned out, and well, broken hearts heal, minds mature and that is what is happening to me in life. I want to thank everyone who supported me here, because 3rd party perspective is important, and the fact that despite all that my feelings stayed true, I realized I really loved E, and this is just a wonderful experience.

[Wakeup]

Wait until you fall in love with someone who is beside you and not just a two dimensional image on a screen. You'll laugh at what you currently call being in love with.

You don't know anything about love, yet. However now that you're doing things in real-time to make you interested in life and an interesting person in general, you'll find a real love that will reciprocate your feelings.

Zero contact is THE way to get to the stage of indifference to your need for this fantasy man remaining with you in any capacity.

[pcmaster]

In the end you are winner. Now you saw how empty was your life and seems like you are focusing more on reality now. Have a things to do in real life, things that are good for you. You are improving as a person. Im sure you will succeed further in life because now you waste less time on bullshit.
Your only mistake was that you was putting too much emphasis on one person and eventually you became needy which stinks to girls. As you see now - it takes longer time to really know the person and truly you get to know person after breakup.

Thanks for update mate its good to know that you are doing well.

[mariawalker]

Hello everyone, I'm fairly new here, and I can't find my way around. I don't know if you guys give love advice about things like this, but I fell in love with a person over the internet. I can't stop thinking about him and I made a mistake and broke up, I don't know what to do and how to fix things and that is why I'm here in search for help, plus I have no one to turn to for help. Before I would write my detailed story, I wanted to check if I am at the right place, if I'm not, then please let me know.

Thank you in advance.

Find out the reasons of broke up. Check family background, always try to find reality & be practical. Relationship can't survive on emotions.