Husband prefers pornography to intercourse

[Wakeup]

Like I said... just leave him now before you THINK you're trapped and can't leave... maybe you do already since you put up with being made to feel inferior and undesirable instead of leaving the lump and finding a better match for you?????

I suggest you broach the subject of couples counselling and if he won't go then leave him and start a new life exercising some of your charm on someone who cares.

[hoxtonchris]

have you considered it may not be the girl in the porn he is fantasising about?it may be the bloke!!

[Jffs24]

Zombi queen, I wrote a very long response as well that was never posted. I believe there is no one moderating the posts. It says that the post needs to be approved but they're probably just sitting in an inbox that no one has viewed.

Posts don't need to be approved on here unless you once were a banned account name and back again and the website recognized the same ip, but even that seems off to me -- If you take too long to write a long reply the forum will log you out, so if you write long replies copy it and then paste it later when it logs you out and your reply gets lost. Same goes to the OP.

[skyliner33]

There are a lot of variables at play here, and there is no clear cut answer for you. If you do not have children, then I would seriously consider Wakeup's advice and leave before it is too late. I don't know how long you knew him prior to marriage, if there was ever a good sex life, if he has always watched porn, if he has tried to hide it, if he cares about your feelings towards it...These are all important factors in your decision. I will say this, pornography is like an addictive drug to the person watching. If he is not interested in quitting, then I would leave him at any costs. Only he can make that decision. Your sex life will not improve unless he quits, but he isn't going to quit simply because you want him to. I know that sounds messed up, but because of the drug-like nature of porn, it is similar to why alcoholics won't stop drinking unless they are ready and committed to changing themselves. Honestly, the fact that he has probably viewed porn for quite some time, and is actually looking for discreet hookups, I don't think he stands much of a chance to change; however, none of this is your fault, he is the one who will lose from his lack of courage to stop this destructive habit. I would not stand for it at all if I were you, and I would make it abundantly clear to him that though it is ultimately his choice, there is only one way it will work for you, and that is for him to quit completely. Hope this helps.

[hoxtonchris]

it realy is a case of love and respect getting in the way of true satisfaction,many people need a certain type,ie,women prefer bad guys,men prefer sluts,a man can do whatever he wants ,no matter how depraived,to a slut,he cant with her indoors.feel flattered by that.but if he needs to make love rather than do sex,,,,,,,thats where you come in

[woody]

ZombieQueen,

Have you had any recent health issues that may be somehow misconstrued by him?; If so, he could be thinking your just too fragile right now? idk. I can only speculate.

Maybe if you put yourself into a room with your toys while he was home and aware of what you were doing, lock the door and have at it, without him. Turn the tables. Sometimes one cannot see how they effect their other half without a dose of the same medicine so to speak.

anyway, I hope you get your sex life back one way of the other....

[ThatZombieQueen]

Thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions.
To answer some of yours:
Yes, he has always enjoyed porn. But as he gets older it seems to be the only thing he is interested in sexually. He watches lesbian porn, so I don't think it is because he wants to see a guy lol. Yes, we have 3 kids. We have been married for 2 years, but dated for a few years before that, as well as a couple years in high school.

[ThatZombieQueen]

Thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions.
To answer some of yours:
Yes, he has always enjoyed porn. But as he gets older it seems to be the only thing he is interested in sexually. He watches lesbian porn, so I don't think it is because he wants to see a guy lol. Yes, we have 3 kids. We have been married for 2 years, but dated for a few years before that, as well as a couple years in high school. And nothing medically which would make him think I am fragile. I let him get as wild as he wants with me.

[ThatZombieQueen]

Thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions.
To answer some of yours:
Yes, he has always enjoyed porn. But as he gets older it seems to be the only thing he is interested in sexually. He watches lesbian porn, so I don't think it is because he wants to see a guy lol. Yes, we have 3 kids. We have been married for 2 years, but dated for a few years before that, as well as a couple years in high school.
Another thing I wanted an opinion on: A few days ago we were talking and goofing off and I asked him what my rank would be in bed and he said an 8.5--Now I don't think I deserve a 10 just for being his wife, but when he has had less than 6 partners and he said they all suked in bed why woud I get this rating?
The last time I talked to him about everything I asked if it would be ok for me to just get off somewhere else and just have an open marriage and he said "If I cant, you cant." And I told him he could if that's what he wanted and he got so mad and we ended up fighting. I hate this.

[ThatZombieQueen]

Thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions.
To answer some of yours:
Yes, he has always enjoyed porn. But as he gets older it seems to be the only thing he is interested in sexually. He watches lesbian porn, so I don't think it is because he wants to see a guy lol. Yes, we have 3 kids. We have been married for 2 years, but dated for a few years before that, as well as a couple years in high school.
Another thing I wanted an opinion on: A few days ago we were talking and goofing off and I asked him what my rank would be in bed and he said an 8.5--Now I don't think I deserve a 10 just for being his wife, but when he has had less than 6 partners and he said they all suked in bed why woud I get this rating?
The last time I talked to him about everything I asked if it would be ok for me to just get off somewhere else and just have an open marriage and he said "If I cant, you cant." And I told him he could if that's what he wanted and he got so mad and we ended up fighting. I hate this.

[ThatZombieQueen]

Thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions.
To answer some of yours:
Yes, he has always enjoyed porn. But as he gets older it seems to be the only thing he is interested in sexually. He watches lesbian porn, so I don't think it is because he wants to see a guy lol. Yes, we have 3 kids. We have been married for 2 years, but dated for a few years before that, as well as a couple years in high school. No, nothing medically that would make him think I am fragile, in fact I let him go crazy with me lol.
Another thing I wanted an opinion on: A few days ago we were talking and goofing off and I asked him what my rank would be in bed and he said an 8.5--Now I don't think I deserve a 10 just for being his wife, but when he has had less than 6 partners and he said they all suked in bed why woud I get this rating?
The last time I talked to him about everything I asked if it would be ok for me to just get off somewhere else and just have an open marriage and he said "If I cant, you cant." And I told him he could if that's what he wanted and he got so mad and we ended up fighting. I hate this.

[ThatZombieQueen]

I keep trying to post a reply but this site really sucks Its sad because everyone is being so helpful.

- - - Updated - - -

Thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions.
To answer some of yours:
Yes, he has always enjoyed porn. But as he gets older it seems to be the only thing he is interested in sexually. He watches lesbian porn, so I don't think it is because he wants to see a guy lol. Yes, we have 3 kids. We have been married for 2 years, but dated for a few years before that, as well as a couple years in high school. No, nothing medically that would make him think I am fragile, in fact I let him go crazy with me lol.
Another thing I wanted an opinion on: A few days ago we were talking and goofing off and I asked him what my rank would be in bed and he said an 8.5--Now I don't think I deserve a 10 just for being his wife, but when he has had less than 6 partners and he said they all suked in bed why woud I get this rating?
The last time I talked to him about everything I asked if it would be ok for me to just get off somewhere else and just have an open marriage and he said "If I cant, you cant." And I told him he could if that's what he wanted and he got so mad and we ended up fighting. I hate this.

[ThatZombieQueen]

Thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions.
To answer some of yours:
Yes, he has always enjoyed porn. But as he gets older it seems to be the only thing he is interested in sexually. He watches lesbian porn, so I don't think it is because he wants to see a guy lol. Yes, we have 3 kids. We have been married for 2 years, but dated for a few years before that, as well as a couple years in high school. No, nothing medically that would make him think I am fragile, in fact I let him go crazy with me lol.
Another thing I wanted an opinion on: A few days ago we were talking and goofing off and I asked him what my rank would be in bed and he said an 8.5--Now I don't think I deserve a 10 just for being his wife, but when he has had less than 6 partners and he said they all suked in bed why woud I get this rating?
The last time I talked to him about everything I asked if it would be ok for me to just get off somewhere else and just have an open marriage and he said "If I cant, you cant." And I told him he could if that's what he wanted and he got so mad and we ended up fighting. I hate this.

[ThatZombieQueen]

Thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions.
To answer some of yours:
Yes, he has always enjoyed porn. But as he gets older it seems to be the only thing he is interested in sexually. He watches lesbian porn, so I don't think it is because he wants to see a guy lol. Yes, we have 3 kids. We have been married for 2 years, but dated for a few years before that, as well as a couple years in high school. No, nothing medically that would make him think I am fragile, in fact I let him go crazy with me lol.
Another thing I wanted an opinion on: A few days ago we were talking and goofing off and I asked him what my rank would be in bed and he said an 8.5--Now I don't think I deserve a 10 just for being his wife, but when he has had less than 6 partners and he said they all suked in bed why woud I get this rating?
The last time I talked to him about everything I asked if it would be ok for me to just get off somewhere else and just have an open marriage and he said "If I cant, you cant." And I told him he could if that's what he wanted and he got so mad and we ended up fighting. I hate this.

[ThatZombieQueen]

Thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions.
To answer some of yours:
Yes, he has always enjoyed porn. But as he gets older it seems to be the only thing he is interested in sexually. He watches lesbian porn, so I don't think it is because he wants to see a guy lol. Yes, we have 3 kids. We have been married for 2 years, but dated for a few years before that, as well as a couple years in high school. No, nothing medically that would make him think I am fragile, in fact I let him go crazy with me lol.
Another thing I wanted an opinion on: A few days ago we were talking and goofing off and I asked him what my rank would be in bed and he said an 8.5--Now I don't think I deserve a 10 just for being his wife, but when he has had less than 6 partners and he said they all suked in bed why woud I get this rating?
The last time I talked to him about everything I asked if it would be ok for me to just get off somewhere else and just have an open marriage and he said "If I cant, you cant." And I told him he could if that's what he wanted and he got so mad and we ended up fighting. I hate this.