I am engaged but I fell in love with someone. Please help me what to do.

[gael27]

Hi there, I been thinking this almost for a month. Love problem. I stumble this love forum, hope you guys can help me.

So here's my story. I been in a relationship for 7 yrs but on and off, cool offs, break ups,we argue even in a small things,we have different outlook in life, we broke up and then we get back together again. A repeating scenario in the whole 7 yrs. Although we also have some happy memories but they seem to fade away because of arguments. Sometimes I am not happy with him, or maybe we became too comfortable to each other to the point that spark dont exist anymore. So i broke up with him and I am a happy single for more than 2 yrs.

And just last year July, he came back to me and asked for another chance. He was very different now. He is now a Christian,and that was I am asking to God after we broke up, to give me a man with a Godly heart. So I gave him a chance believing this might work now, thinking that love the 2nd time around is sweeter. We get along for few months, I know I am happy but then after 2 months he fly to Dubai to work there. Before he go, he gave me an engagement ring. I said yes. He said he need to go for our future, for wedding expenses and buying a home. He planned to come back after the working contract and then we will get married. I am so excited that time.

We do skype call everyday since he fly to Dubai. I knew that I love him but as days, months passed by, we do skype like once a week or trice a month, only chats because I am busy at work on the time he is available. and he's at work when I am available. We started to argue again over the phone and seems like old days came back. I tried to understand him, be patient but I am not happy anymore. I was seeking for more. There is something missing inside me that i cant explain. Maybe his companionship, because we just started again but then he left so fast. I understand that its for our future but sometimes I am not happy.

I was bored, have nothing to do, so I played this online game Wartune. I been addicted to it. spent more time on games, my work is also online, so I still have time to play when run out of tasks. I meet this guy on the game. We were just friends on the games, he started to help me on game quest, chats and then he added me on facebook and we exchanged numbers.

The problem started there. After couple of months playing the game and exchanging number and facebook, he said he likes me, he loves me. he is courting me online and said he is willing to come to my place to meet me. I ignored him at first, taking it was a joke because it's just online. Its hard to believe that he loves me, we havent meet yet.

He gets more intense in telling his feelings for me everyday. As months go by, I can tell that he is really serious and really wants to meet me. He knew that I already have a boyfriend but he still wont stop. He also knew also that my boyfrnd is far from me and maybr thats why he has guts to come and meet me. We are in the same country, so meeting is very easy.

I am writing you this because I feel so confused, I am weird lately like I cant sleep because I think about him, daydreaming. I wanted to meet him too, I am so happy when he chats me, he has humor and he can always makes me laugh, which is opposite to my boyfriend. I feel inspired. It's like I play the game because he is there. He's been courting me for a month and I wanted to know him more. I think I like him already but im not so sure. I dont understand myself lately. I wanted him to visit me but I am so guilty with my boyfriend. I even reject his call before because of the game and because he is there helping me in my quest. I know it sound so stupid but he makes me crazy already. I tried not to play few days to stay away from him, but he keeps texting me

What I am going to do? What will I tell to my boyfriend. I dont want to hurt him because its not right and he dont deserve it. I really felt the guilt because he is sacrificing working in other country just for me but I think I'm falling in love with this guy online.

Please help me what to do..

[bcgirl]

Firstly, this online guy isn't a real relationship. You don't even know him! Your imagination is playing tricks on you and playing this fantasy in your head that is probably so far fetched to how this mystery guy really is.

If you are not happy with your fiancé, do not get married to him. The worst thing you can do us marry someone you don't even want to marry

[gael27]

Thank you for taking your time to reply.. Yes I understand sometimes my imagination is playing me, though I can see his face on fb and he can see my face on fb too. he is calling me over the phone and he will now book a ticket to meet me. Those are the things I knew that what he feels towards me are real. I'm not sure though what will happen after we meet.

I just dont know how to end my relationship with my fiance. And if it is really the right thing to do.

I feel guilty because i said yes to meet him while I still in a relationship. What do you think pls? Should I continue entertaining this online guy? Is it ok to meet him? My heart says I can trust him but sometimes my brain says its not the right thing to do.

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I am concerned also of what other people will say, my family and his family and also our friends

[bcgirl]

You should tell the online guy that you can't meet him. You are engaged and need to figure your current relationship out first before getting involved with him.

You are going to make things 100 times harder for yourself by putting yourself in situations of dealing with 2 men, cheating, trying to cover up lies etc.

[smackie9]

You should be focusing on what has happened to you emotionally/ and where it finds you now.

Your fiance: Truth: You have settled because you fear you can't find better. He fits you wants list, great guy, etc but ever since you met online guy, you realize there is something horribly missing emotionally from your relationship. The guilt of walking away will be tragic, but not as tragic as being in a marriage you feel trapped in for years. You need to be honest with yourself, your fiance' is not that man you should marry.

As for online guy, online relationships are 20% reality and 80% fantasy. You are so emotionally starved anything at this point looks better that you have ever experienced. It might be amazing at first but when the dust clears, it's not going to be what you has fantasized in the first place leaving you empty, lost and feeling regret. And the first thing yo are going to end up doing is try to go back with your ex, back to the same problem as before, and you are not doing anyone any favor by doing this. You will be right back where you started.....unhappy.

You need to step back from both of these guys and remove yourself emotionally from them and look at the hard cold facts. You are unhappy with your fiance, and this other guy is getting involved with a woman that is engaged. This is so wrong on so many levels.

Take time out to get your head on straight.