my husband says he needs a break??

[anaksunamun]

we got married last year . we been arguing about this and that bcoz my husbands so slefish n rude towards me. he acts like i put pressure on him to marry me but he said he loved me before marriage..he keeps shouting and yelling at me, complaining about the food the kitchen this that.. always finds a reason.. now he says he needs a break needs some space about our marriage. he wants me to go back home. he says if we think we love each other after thinking wth fresh mind, well be together again. or well seperate. is this normal forhim to say that ? or is he tryn to get rid of me politely ? btw im from a different country hes from UK. were livin in UK

[basilandthyme]

Your husband sounds very unhappy in the marriage - and I'm sure you are unhappy too. DID you pressure him to marry you? Or did he come up with the idea of marriage without any prompting from you?

Did you live with each other before you were married? If so, did living together work out OK for you? You say that you're from different countries - how long did the two of you spend together, face to face before getting married? What was this time together like?

[anaksunamun]

Your husband sounds very unhappy in the marriage - and I'm sure you are unhappy too. DID you pressure him to marry you? Or did he come up with the idea of marriage without any prompting from you?

Did you live with each other before you were married? If so, did living together work out OK for you? You say that you're from different countries - how long did the two of you spend together, face to face before getting married? What was this time together like?

i didnt force him we dated for almost 6 months before marriage. it was good..we spent good time together. nver faught. mostly we dated online but we visited each other 3 times and spent 1 month totally together face to face. once we started to live togetherin the house i saw his wierd behavor he s gettin in to kitchen duties of me.. he comes checks if the oven clean enough or not.. if the towel is squeezed or not.. if the blinders on or off. if the plates are dried or not.. if not he shouts n yells. he s controlling. also he rarely makes love. maybe once in 10 days.. he doesnt want to approach. his performance s always low and he cant satify me. ididnt sleep him before marriage. im confused.

[woody]

Ok, what's going on with these vanishing posts???(where are the mods)

Anyway, Anuksunamun, I couldn't read your response to Breath's words but I will say, you married an englishman.
and sometimes, (not always) but sometimes marrying an englishman is a whole new animal. So good luck.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be crass. Well, maybe a little.
I will say though, I'm sorry your enduring this. You put your faith into him, moved there, changed and picked up your life to be with him. Perhaps you two hadn't lived together before marrying and your both feeling the effects. Still, to give you the ol' boot is a drag indeed. He may have his reasons, hell, we all do right but your the one there, your the one who has to get out of there feeling like a possible failure. But know this lady; your no failure. Got that? Did that go in anywhere? You are not a failure.
Hey, maybe the two of you just aren't it. I mean, aside from marrying the guy, how do you feel about him?

Next time you post, copy it first in case it doesn't go through and try again so it doesn't disappear like last one.

[TablesandChairs]

You only dated for 6 months before marriage and most of that time was online. So you basically married someone you barely know. This is how he is - a controlling abuser who doesn't know how to deal. He's probably not happy because he didn't know you either. Maybe this is a cultural norm where you're from but in my mind, I'm thinking...what did you expect?

I would end it and leave.

[basilandthyme]

OK, so you've married a guy who you barely knew and he turned out to be a controlling arsehole. He's now offering you a way out. I think you should embrace this opportunity for escape and go home to your family. Send divorce papers back to him.

[woody]

Yeah lady, you don't want to be stuck with one like that anyway. Consider some silver lining and follow it on outta there.
Life is way too precious...

[JRodriguez]

It sounds to me like you married somone who is socially inept and afraid of his own manhood. Most men want to have sex every day, but if they work to exhaustion then maybe every couple of days. Every 10 days is NOT normal, unless he's in his 60's. If I were you I'd take it as a blessing that he wants to end it and move on. Who needs to live with someone constantly critisizing? Personally, I wish I could trade in my wife for one who wanted to have sex more often. I understand it it women because of hormones, especially after 45, but a Man? No... Get out now before it gets worse.