Help! Need advice asap!

[anonymous447182]

(Before I go on I'm actually 17 not 18 - but didn't know how to change the year on the site - not that it matters or is relevant but it's good to be honest!) Anyhow...
Okay,
so I started the first year of college at the start of the college year and I met her then. I'm in two of her classes. Before, she was one of the only new people I spoke to lol, probably because she was so approachable and kind and even though at my old school, I'm not gonna lie, I was relatively popular, sharing many circles of friends and that over my time there, I felt nervous and found it hard to socialise at the start of college. But this was easy to get around and after meeting new people all the time I got used to it, quickly not becoming a problem. This point's just highlighting that she was easy to get along with etc. and made extra effort. She started even speaking to me outside of lesson and when I was hanging around with my friends approached us, having a laugh and referring to me as her lover - which was obviously just a joke but some of my immature friends took this as a perfect opportunity to embarrass me lol, although, honestly thought she liked me but was acting a bit desperately or something and even saying she didn't even look that nice, I knew she was joking though and I've seen her body so I know she looks nice. Anyway, I got to know her for a bit and we spent time together in classes and partnering up for some work set in class and then on a school trip we went on, sitting next to her on the coach both ways and simply chilling. I've always seen her around other guys though or whatever so I thought she must not be into me and she just wants to be friends/isn't that into me.
She's nice, funny, nice looking (facially), has a great body but most importantly a great personality! She's really cute. After getting to know her well(ish) for a bit, I fell ill and so missed a lot of college (a month) and so I stopped speaking to her for a bit. She asked about me though, to my friends, when I was gone and she thought I must've been kicked out or something, which I can't blame her because at the time I wasn't doing great academically and was close to being kicked out anyway - the illness didn't help. I liked that she at least thought about me. At first, when I came back, I only really spoke to her for simple chit chat in class and that, then there was a seating change and she sat elsewhere and so I pretty much stopped speaking to her. After a while though, the seating had changed and I sat next to her again, lessons were actually fun again (like secondary school lol) and we bonded through conversing and drawing. She's great at art. We shared many jokes and I looked forward to going to class with her. The college work however became a struggle, with us both falling into the same situation and falling really far behind, leaving us with coursework that was set months ago, due just in two weeks. As we were both in the same situation she invited me to go with her to get started on the work, I couldn't actually go though at that time, however we arranged that we go the next day. We exchanged numbers initially to meet on that day but I started chatting and we got on well. After getting closer over a short period, we added each other on like almost every social networking site and spoke literally all the time, somewhat beginning to flirt but predominantly having a laugh and joking about, getting to know each other more and that. We do have common interests and I do like her, more so now than I did then.
This one time, after getting closer, she invited me round to her house to get drunk and hang out. On the day though I met her with a friend and she met us with her friend. By the time I met her I was very high, having smoked around 3 joints and even drinking a cider before meeting her (I don't even usually drink though tbh). On this night instead of going straight to hers, we crashed a party. She knew the people and they were actually really nice. After an awkward intro to everyone and a weird 20 mins, I smoked another joint and began to drink more and more - the alcohol was free and pretty much unlimited!! I then went to the toilet and this is when the night really started.
I met loads of her friends in the long bathroom queue and it was so easy to socialise, finding myself adding like 15 of them on social networking sites or whatever lol. I saw earlier that the girl was dancing with a guy and I didn't like it tbh and I felt myself getting kinda jealous but I again thought she just must not like me. So I started flirting with another girl. A really hot girl, she was the prom queen at her school. She was extremely drunk - as was I, she had a boyfriend though and because of this factor as well as the fact that I had began to really like the first girl, I immediately friendzoned the girl lol. The next part of this story seems to be a bit of a blur but I remember the first girl, the one this stories about, coming over. We sat on the couch speaking, she even made a reference to my flirting with the other girl - she sounded a tiny bit jealous by her tone of voice and way she said it but we shrugged it off and spoke and spoke and spoke. Her company was amazing. We started touching, her hands were so soft and we were flirting and it was great. Eventually after a while, she turned her head fully and kissed the side of my mouth/cheek. I bought her head round, we were laughing and then we kissed. It was amazing. She was so soft, the best lips and we both really liked it. For the remainder of the night we stayed with each other moving from spot to spot, finding private space where we could, going outside, continuously kissing and having a great time, we danced, drank and had the best time ever. I remember asking if I was being too clingy or kissing too much but she said no way! and we kept kissing. It was my first experience like this. I knew we were drunk but I found myself thinking that I'd missed all the signs when I was thinking she didn't like me. If she didn't like me, she would have never have invited me, she'd never have done this with me, it seemed like it all added up and she must've liked me.
We began to make a move and went back to hers. Her house was like 30-40 minutes away from the party, we walked back together (as well as both my friend and hers - they chatted in front and led the way whilst we followed), yet the journey time felt like 5 minutes. Her company was so good. We held hands, it was cold, and so I gave her my gloves because she didn't want my jacket and we shared a glove and held hands within it. It was just great.
We got back to hers. Our friends fell asleep straight away and we spent the night together. Her body was so hot, she's an athlete and has amazing assets (bum, breasts stomach, legs). We kissed for so long, hugging, spooning and sharing an intimate and sexual moment together, we never had sex but we got extra close. I remember telling her earlier in the night that I'm only ready if she is, because she asked what we were going to do when we got back to hers. She said she weren't ready and so I kept this in mind. We looked at the time and we'd had like 3 hours together it was great. We decided it was time to go to sleep (it was like 5-530) and she had to get up real soon for her training.
The next morning, it reached 730 and she had to get up to eat as she always has to eat a certain number of hours before training. I hadn't slept. I literally only had 15-30mins. I couldn't stop thinking about her. She came back to bed until it was time to go to training. We hugged and spooned more, it was great (again). At 930 she woke up and lied with me for 5mins more. Our friends had woken up and we were all just laying there. She took me under the cover mid conversation with my friend and kissed me one last time. We weren't that drunk now and we'd hugged all night. Does she like me? We all got ready and left.
Since this I haven't stopped thinking about her. We've spoken in class the following day and acted like it didn't happen. But I didn't wanna go about it that way but didn't know what to say. I messaged her asking how she was feeling, if it was embarassing for either of us, if she cared about it getting sexual to which she replied simply to keep it between us. We then talked for a bit longer then I went to sleep. Since sending the last message that night although, she hasn't opened or messaged back (it's been like 18hours). She's usually so reliable with things like this and the fact that I'm bothered shows how much I really like her. Like, I feel she may be trying to avoid me. This is the level of paranoia I've reached, there's probably an obvious excuse, but I do feel she thinks of it as just a drunk thing but I think of it as much more. I need to know how she feels but don't want to be all over her. I honestly think I'm obsessed. I can't get her out of my head. She's amazing. I don't know what to do.
Help!

[smackie9]

Yes she is avoiding you.....it was just a weak moment for her, now she is regretting it. You are making it into something it is not.

[anonymous447182]

Weak? Nah. I just played it all wrong. I was way too keen at the time but I do still like her. She spoke loads after this but then I was too upfront and clingy I realised since. I should've just left it then and spoke to her casually, would've played out better. At least I know for future reference lol. Vital experience gained ha, plus I was still pretty messed when I started messaging her straight anyway. Look I wrote all that ha. ^^
It weren't weak though, before I remember she was being way too keen, practically begged me to come with her to this ha. She was constantly messaging me before and so maybe I've left out this stuff idk. I also doubt she was regretting it straight after, she messaged saying she wished we could've stayed in bed, when I said I was embarrassed she said there was definitely nothing to be embarrassed about for either of us and that the night was better than expected, plus she kissed me under the cover the morning after so I think there was still something there. It's a shame we've got exams coming up as well as she has to go away for a bit, otherwise I think it would have gone better. Now we haven't spoke for couple days, gonna let it go over and then pretty much start again, chill in class and all that, see where it goes.
But most of all I WILL NOT BEE SO CLINGY!! ha!