Need advice on this...

[4fresh]

I have a crush on a girl from my high-school class from almost 6 months. When i started talking to her she was in a relationship with a guy (a huge jerk) that she loved so mutch... He dumped her, and she suffered a lot because of that. Then we become close friends as I talk to her about that and helped her in that hard situation (amplified by fights in family and other bad stuff). I guess in that time i started to love her a lot. Then i tryed to push the relationship in the next level at kind of a month after her previous break-up and got the classic "friend-zone' answer with the mention that "im a nice guy, but she dont want to hear about love anymore". After that i tryed to let go, follow my friends advices and just move on and not waste anymore time on this girl, but a strange thing happend, she continued to talk with me and give me signs that she like me and dont want me to leave her, and after a while she accept to date me, and i guess i figured out that she like me to... But the problem is that she struggle between her feelings for her ex (that she dont see him as a jerk and still have some feelings for him although she refused when he asked her to be back together, guess a little bit because of me too) and her feelings for me, that she dont want to accept for some reason... Now I just patiently try to be the friens she need and she is getting closer to me every day, but something in my head tell me that is not a good time to ask her again... I shoud wait until she give me a sign or something (she is a very shy girl) but i dont know what to expect or what to do next... Im afraid that if i push the relationship to hard i could mess it up, and on the other hand... damn... i love her so mutch, and i want to hugg her and tell her "i love you" every time i see her and is very hard for me just to stay as her friend -.- Just, bring some light in this situation and teach me what to do next... Sorry for my very bad english, and thanks a lot in advance

[smackie9]

Being close friends is not making you BF material, so you need to give her space. She needs to sort things out on her own, and lean on her GFs.

To be desirable is to make yourself less available. Nothing wrong with saying hi and have a quick chat, but DO NOT be there for her, text all the time, hang out together, etc. You are not her BF so stop acting like one.

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Dude keep in mind she is feeling lonely/lost from the breakup. It's only natural for a girl to gravitate to a guy to get male attention(YOU) that she no longer has(HER EX). This is why it is not wise to get involved with a girl after a breakup. She's just going to end up using you and you getting crushed. Keep your feelings in check. Being infatuated in someone will make you do stupid things and will kill any chance you have with a girl. It would be wise to distance yourself and get over her.

[4fresh]

So, I will give her space until she is ok, but just one thing, when I know she's ok? I mean, she will be ok at one time and i guess i can start talk her again then, just dont want to mess it up -.- *feeling like I do it all wrong*

And I dont think she is just using me, we are super ok and beside "the all time chat" on Facebook i just give her the space she need and we are pretty distant, exept the times we hang out. Im not her "pet" if that's what your thinking XD I guess if i stop talking her that mutch on facebook, things will go on good, and this will help her to get over her ex definitively. And by the way, i know for sure that things were better between us if she havent that boyfrend to, but is the first time I got that far talking with a girl and have some problems with this "be the boss" part.

*sorry for bad english*

[smackie9]

The dynamics of what is going on happens naturally (friend zoned), and her using you isn't intentional, but it does happen. You both are on different pages, she will see you as someone to enjoy/ attention and make her feel better, you see it as romantic/ getting emotionally close. This is when sh- it hits the fan. You express your intentions for a romantic relationship, she pushes away because she doesn't feel the same way and feels you were only nice to her because you want her for other reasons. That's why you need to back off. It's how a girl's brain works. When you are untouchable, they see it as strong/ masculine/ confident. This makes a guy very desirable. If you are dependable/reliable/ comforting/ always available to her, this makes you look weak/passive/needy....a doormat.

I know you want things to happen NOW, but when you push, it goes wrong. You need to play the game, back off and wait. Never make her your main focus and you will be alright.

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And stop hanging out with her all the time you see her.....look like you have other stuff to do, never make her your priority....talk with other girls, etc. Trust me this will make you look good not bad.

[4fresh]

Ty man, this really helped me Is time to make it like I am supposed to do and get the girl Thanks a lot!