Friendship over?

[poison ivy]

I had this guy friend and we were really close. We treated each other as siblings and honestly, he was the only person i stuck myself with despite his simple minded personality that was the reason why we always argued.

I tend to be open minded but he was like a textbook person. He follows only what he believes is right and he doesn't listen to others' opinion. So we fought a lot but we always get back to terms. He wasn't the type of person i'd hang out with but i saw him different since he was a brother to me so i looked over his flaws and all.

He has a girlfriend and I was cool. He openly talks about her and stuff.

Now the thing is, many people mistook us as a couple cause we were really close. I tell him that of course. I tease him about how we look like one but then he suddenly started telling me to start acting like a sister or other people might think otherwise. It stirred another argument between us because i was actually just treating him as a brother and hell he knows who i like. The way he tells me that i should act more sisterly just annoys me since he makes it sound like i'm obsessed with him. I dont see much of a problem with people misundersanding since i actually explained to them that he has a girlfriend and we're just friends but he kept on pushing the topic up my nose. He keeps telling me that his girlfriend might hear of it. I told him i can explain and there's nothing to worry about since we dont even like each other like that. It was annoying me so much that i ignored his messages that were about it.

I said sorry because i actually bitched out on him for being inconsiderate.

He texted me if we should do something about it and i said we could just never talk in school ever again and he replied with: seriously? That's too bad. That's all he said and i was seriously hurt and offended that he wouldn't fight for our friendship so i didn't reply after that.

I don't what to do. He tells me we should do something about it and when i ask him what, he tells me he doesn't know but he continues to pester me about it. My point is, i don't understand him anymore. It's shaking my head so much.

[basilandthyme]

He's right - the two of you need to make some changes. If people are mistaking the two of you are a couple, then they are clearly picking up on *something*. And if it's obvious enough for people to comment on, then it's quite disrespectful to his girlfriend.

I know you can explain to people, but the two of you should be behaving in a manner which doesn't require explaining.

[poison ivy]

The thing is, people at school are just nosey. They see you together and they just start assuming that you two are on. I guess you're right but I really don't know whatelse to do especially since we just talk and stuff. We don't do anything to make the girlfriend jealous or anything :/ so i don't know what to do to solve this issue. He did tell me that months ago, before they were a couple, the girl was intimidated by me. She was scared I'd take him away so maybe that's where he got his paraoid self from. This dude is sorta soft and you know, he's the kind guy type. I can't blame him i guess.

[smackie9]

This friendship may be a friendship to you but it's starting have emotions involved that are becoming inappropriate and he is taking notice, and so is everyone else. When you disagree you are getting way too emotional about it, which looks like invested feelings....you care more than you should. Basically he was asking a simple question to make things proper as a friendship, and your answer was immature, passive aggressive, full of emotion. You may say your feelings towards him are strictly platonic but I beg to differ because you stipulated it several times in your post like you had to convince us...one who is defensive is doing it out of a guilty conscience. You have become too emotionally attached to him and he hasn't with you, and this has become conflicting with you.

The changes you need to make is stop bit-ching him out, arguing, being passive/aggressive towards him and cut back on hanging out with him. It's time to kool it for awhile. Hopefully this will change the dynamics of your friendship to something a little more appropriate.

[basilandthyme]

School kids talk. So do adults. It's part of life.

I'm with Smackie. Your defensiveness and unwillingness to spend less time with him - combined with your 'all or nothing' attitude indicates to me that there is indeed something for the girlfriend to be concerned about.

If he was just a regular mate, you'd respect his relationship needs and understand his need to not be seen in a questionable manner.

[lissa]

You were hurt and offended that he didn't take the bait you threw out to try to get him to beg for you back... His actions were mature and showed he cares about his gf while yours were extremely childish. Back off and let things be for a while. If you are truly friends, things will work themselves out.

[na232]

I think you're overthinking the situation. You both might be overthinking. The thing is, he might bring it up because he likes the fact that you guys look like a couple (besides the fact that he has a girlfriend)

It shows that you guys are super close, which is a good thing! If you guys weren't that close, people wouldn't mistake you guys. You both don't have to explain anything to anyone. It's none of their business. As long as it's clear between the people you're dating and with one another, everything should be fine.

[jenniferaniston]

Be nice and find new friends and don't believe or follow any one blindly. Distract yourself. Spend time doing things you want to do, and you'll be shocked at how easy it is to forget about the situation. Try and get a book or a diary and write about how you feel. It's a great way to let out all of your anger and sadness. Remember that with every ending, there is a new beginning. That means, there's time to get your life going in the direction you want. Pamper yourself and hang out with new interesting people.

[poison ivy]

Thank you for all the help guys

Yeah, I guess I did sound defensive and all. I guess I was just pissed. I did sound immature right there. >.>

But thanks, it cleared my mind and I realized I was really being an inconsiderate brat.

I'll start distancing a bit so he'll also get used to it

Thanks for all the help!