I love her, but she's uncomfortable with her sexuality??

[NotReally]

Hey. I'm 21 and my girlfriend is 19. We've been seeing each other for maybe a month and a half and we're totally in love... like shamelessly so. She's gorgeous, fun-loving, creative, just everything I could possibly ask for. She feels the same way about me, and we're always honest and straight up about how we feel.

I'm not her first boyfriend, but I'm the first person she's had sex with. I've had sex with a couple other people. We took it really slow and I was patient, giving her as much space and time she needed to feel comfortable. When it did happen, it was wonderful. I was shocked at how comfortable she was with her body, and how precisely she could pleasure me. It was the little things: her eye contact, the way she ran her fingernails along my back and my legs, the list goes on. I don't think I've ever felt such sexual chemistry with a girl before.

Through past experience, I understand that there's generally a "honeymoon" period in a relationship where you have a lot of sex and everything seems magical and whatever. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is under such a busy schedule that I feel like this period isn't getting a chance to bloom. She's a dancer, and she's in school 6 days a week, generally very exhausted. We had a couple weekends where we could laze around in bed and have sex numerous times, enjoying each others' bodies and feeling like everything was perfect. Recently there just hasn't been enough time.

Last night she wanted to come over to my place unexpectedly, and it had been a week since we'd really been intimate at all. Needless so say I was glad to see her and extremely horny... she's seriously one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met. We made out for maybe 5 minutes, and she literally fell asleep. I'm ashamed to admit that I fell into an anxious state of resentment, and I had to gather my feelings before deciding maybe the right thing to do was just talk to her about it.

So we did. It turns out she's had issues with her sexuality, doesn't really masturbate much, and sometimes feels ashamed in that regard. It's mind-blowing information, because when we did have sex before, she was ridiculously good at it.

I'm tied up in this uncomfortable conflict where I don't want to be selfish and pressure her into sex, but I love her and want to be intimate and just let my body feel the way it does. I can't help but feel overwhelmed by my own insecurities, as much as she reassures me that I'm a great boyfriend and she finds me so attractive.

When we woke up this morning, I was still so horny. It doesn't make her uncomfortable, I think she finds it endearing, but I fear that she will feel pressure to please me, otherwise I'll be an emotional mess. And I really don't want to be like that! I want it to feel natural, easy-going and fun. But my body feels desperate and rejected.

What can I do? We've talked about it as honestly as I've written it here. She understands. I think that feeling entitled to sex is wrong and extremely unhealthy in a relationship. I know this requires patience, especially because of her own sexual insecurities. But this relationship is still new, and I'm nervously worried that it's already becoming stale. Please help!

[Resessions]

Maybe this is politically incorrect but if she's exhausted and you're not wanting to make her feel pressured into it... Then maybe you should DIY if you get my drift. That might at least take the edge off until she's ready

[basilandthyme]

Your description of what she's like in bed hardly describes a woman who's not comfortable with her sexuality. I'm not buying her explanation

[Nosocomos]

But this relationship is still new, and I'm nervously worried that it's already becoming stale. Please help!

Before I give my advice, please remember that I'm offering an outside view and you shouldn't be defensive as you're searching for advice.

A woman's body is hers, plain and simple. I know you say that feeling entitled to sex is wrong, but do you actually feel that way? Think about it...a woman wants romance, love, affection, to be courted and a lot of men, especially younger (and I don't mean that as offensive, as we've all been young and thought with our penis). Give her space, and I mean sexually. You don't need to talk about it, you don't need to bring it up daily, just enjoy your girlfriend. Spend time with her, and pay attention to her. Just have FUN with her with things you guys both enjoy, whether that's video games, movies, cooking, reading, lazy day at the house, etc...The real good sex happens once you love someone so much the sex is about them, and not only about orgasms but enjoying them and appreciating the fact that they LET you be that close to them, not just because you feel you deserve it.

Again, it's not meant to be offensive, just to help you think.

[basilandthyme]

Following Nosocomos's comments....I think his comments would apply more to women who've been in long term relationships and have been ignored by their partners for everything bar sex. The heady start of a relationship is frequently just as lustful for a woman as it is for a man.