What should be the Behaviour/acting after cheating

[Mark1982]

Found out my gf cheated on me. But it's feeling as if I was the one that cheated. It was with her boss, which is also her ex, and although hard refuses to even try and look for another job.


Even with possible doubt who the father of our son is. She acts as if nothing has happened, and when I asked her why. She says its cos "if she acted like there was something wrong or that she did something wrong, then she would feel guilty"

Should she not be feeling guilty, or someone of that nature ? Is it that she doesn't really care or just a lack of respect. Is she someone to be with, or will her view change, And it was just a stupid one of mistake?

We're seeing a councillor, still early days, thought there'd be some change.

[eve.ashley]

Found out my gf cheated on me. But it's feeling as if I was the one that cheated. It was with her boss, which is also her ex, and although hard refuses to even try and look for another job.


Even with possible doubt who the father of our son is. She acts as if nothing has happened, and when I asked her why. She says its cos "if she acted like there was something wrong or that she did something wrong, then she would feel guilty"

Should she not be feeling guilty, or someone of that nature ? Is it that she doesn't really care or just a lack of respect. Is she someone to be with, or will her view change, And it was just a stupid one of mistake?

We're seeing a councillor, still early days, thought there'd be some change.

break up with her. you can't make sense out of a lunatic...

[Mark1982]

the hard part for me is, he could be my son. I already have a son, with my ex-wife of 12yrs, and I get very little time that I'm allowed to see him. I guess i also don't want to go through that sort of pain again.

[eve.ashley]

the hard part for me is, he could be my son. I already have a son, with my ex-wife of 12yrs, and I get very little time that I'm allowed to see him. I guess i also don't want to go through that sort of pain again.

take the son. she cheated on you, you can prove to the court she is irresponsible...

women abuse men terribly using kids...

we need to teach courts that the best place for a kid is not with the mother, but with the sane parent...i'm sorry you have to suffer man, you deserve better...

[Wakeup]

Mark: I ask YOU: Did YOU feel guilty when you helped her to cheat on her boyfriend? Did you care that she didn't feel guilty as long as you were getting your leg over when she was cheating? Seems you didn't care then that she felt no guilt so why would you expect her to feel guilt when she's cheat(ing) on you?

You have fvcked a sows ear and now you expect a silk purse? Puleeeeze!

Leave her and get a paternity test done. The odds are that either you or the guy she cheated on you with could be the father. Don't tie yourself down to a sow unless the bacon has your DNA.

Get some personal boundaries and think with your big head in the future. If she'd do it with you, she'd very likely do it on you. Right now you're no better if you didn't feel guilt while you were cuckholding her partner at the time.

[Wakeup]

To add:

[url]https://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/94668-worried.html[/url]

To top it all off your g/f is quite issued and I pity ANY child being brought up by her. She will not change for you so I suggest that you do the work on yourself to get the strength to get away from her for good before she cheats on you with either him again or someone completely new. She was in an abusive relationship whom she was too codependent to leave and instead cheated on him with the old coot and then she left the old coot for you, only to cheat on you with him.

You don't think her messed up shit isn't engrained? pffft.

[basilandthyme]

take the son. she cheated on you, you can prove to the court she is irresponsible...

women abuse men terribly using kids...

Eve, Australian family courts will not grant custody to a father simply because the wife cheated. At best, he'll get 50% custody. For a parent to lose custody, a parent needs to be putting the child's life in danger.

And to just 'take the son' could well put him at risk of kidnapping charges.

A little forethought on the legal aspects of your advice would be helpful.

[dontaskme]

take the son. she cheated on you, you can prove to the court she is irresponsible...

women abuse men terribly using kids...

we need to teach courts that the best place for a kid is not with the mother, but with the sane parent...i'm sorry you have to suffer man, you deserve better...

Just because the wife or GF cheated on the husband or BF doesn't make her an irresponsible mother to her child. And as for the women using their kids against men, don't you think men do the same? To teach the court that the best place to be is with the sane parent? Really? What qualifies you to teach the court anything? Do you even know anything about the law?

You put too much personal feeling on your advise.

[TheEvilJester]

She already cheated on her ex with you in the first place. She apparently didn't feel bad about that. What made you think it would be any different WHEN she cheated on you? Yes, I said WHEN because she sounds like somebody who obviously has a history of cheating, and people like that almost never change.

You should definitely get a DNA test to find out if you are the father of her child. If you are, you have some legal rights (as well as responsibilities). If you are not the father, then you really don't. At least I don't think so. I'm no legal professional, so I wouldn't know.

Should she feel guilty? Absolutely, she should. What she did was wrong. It doesn't get much wronger. Saying that she doesn't want to think about it because it will make her feel guilty is a cop out, and probably complete bull$h*t. It is probably just her BS excuse to make it sound like a reason why it seems like she doesn't give a $h*t. Most likely, the truth is that it seems like she doesn't give a $h*t because..... SHE DOESN'T.

Honestly, I could be wrong. I don't know her. You do. But, even from the little you have shared, she doesn't sound like somebody I'd want in my life at all, much less somebody with whom I'd want to be romantically involved. Good luck to you. You deserve better.

[woody]

Folks,
Where in his post did Mark say he and her cheated on her ex because I'm just not seeing it yet a few of you are saying otherwise.

[Wakeup]

Folks,
Where in his post did Mark say he and her cheated on her ex because I'm just not seeing it yet a few of you are saying otherwise.

Check out his posting history, Woody. Now, if I'm mistaken in that (pretty sure I read that in his other thread though) then I'll apologize in advance.

Bottom line is that she enabled a married man to get a leg over her and then she cheated on this Op to be with him yet again... That's reason to wonder about her value as a monogamous partner and something the Op should keep in mind when making decisions that will affect his emotional well being over all.