Is it Over?

[xotichispano]

So there's this one girl, she's really nice and I actually like her. Unfortunately, one day a bunch of people began spreading rumors about how I had a "thing'' for her, and she ended up finding out and questioning me about it. I thought it was early to start confessing, I've only really begun to know her for about a month or two. I negated it the first time, but she INSISTED. So I gave in. She ended up rejecting me, saying that she's not ready to start dating and that she hasn't really thought of me in that way. It really startled the both of us since we had no idea of this rumor prior to that. She said that she didn't want this to ruin our friendship. Is it still possible, or is it a lost cause at this point in time? If still possible, what should I do? :/

[basilandthyme]

"not ready to date yet" is code for "I'm not interested in dating you"

Sorry she's not interested, but at least you can move on now

[eve.ashley]

So there's this one girl, she's really nice and I actually like her. Unfortunately, one day a bunch of people began spreading rumors about how I had a "thing'' for her, and she ended up finding out and questioning me about it. I thought it was early to start confessing, I've only really begun to know her for about a month or two. I negated it the first time, but she INSISTED. So I gave in. She ended up rejecting me, saying that she's not ready to start dating and that she hasn't really thought of me in that way. It really startled the both of us since we had no idea of this rumor prior to that. She said that she didn't want this to ruin our friendship. Is it still possible, or is it a lost cause at this point in time? If still possible, what should I do? :/

of course it's possible. in fact, if she is anything like a decent, nice person, you have a good chance...

if she really wanted nothing to do with you she would not ask you to be friends...

she could be just not ready to start a romantic relationship now...

if we are going through loads of personal turmoil that's not a good time to try and make a relationship work...

relationships demand of us to be able to put ourselves out there, make ourselves vulnerable, and survive if things don't work out...

if you look closely at her, and how she is around you, you will be able to see if she is into you romantically and at a bad time in her life, or she really just sees you as a friend.

in the case of latter, she should let you go, and leave you alone...to get over your feelings towards her...

so, again, i think there is more to it than she is letting on...

don't be discouraged...respect her and her wishes and give her time...

[Wakeup]

Do yourself a huge favor and don't bother even being her friend. When you have more then simple friendship feelings for a member of the opposite sex (even if those feelings are simple lust or a desire to conquer) then its in your best interests to just distance yourself so that you can neutralize your "more then" feelings. You'll not be able to do that if you become her male girlfriend or you allow her to use you for her emotional tampon.

Do the thing that is in YOUR own emotional best interests and don't be at her beck and call. If you keep yourself out of the quagmire of being a friend only then you will be open in mind and heart to actually pursue someone that also has more then "just friends" feelings for you.... this girl has laid it out on the line to you... take what she says and don't settle for less, don't grovel for her and for goodness sakes... don't become her girlfriend with dangly bits.

You deserve more then that.