How to get old-school guy's attention?

[ItsKick]

I can't believe I'm asking this! I usually read people pretty well, but the man I'm interested in has got me totally stumped, and all my friends too. He's a fantastic person, but he's in his 50's and his last two relationships ended in heartbreak so I understand he actually didn't date for months after the last one. The thing is, he's a good old southern farm boy with only brothers, so he is this mega-gentleman to everybody -- maybe a little too gentlemanly. We only see each other at church, which isn't exactly Flirtation Central. He always gives me a big hug, but he does that for a lot of people. He always talks to me, sometimes seeks me out, but again that's common. He did mention when he first met me that he was looking for a serious relationship, but I was so taken aback I just stammered something lame. He also told me once on a business call that I am "beautiful, clever and funny - just perfect!" Before seeming totally mortified and changing the subject suddenly.

Here's the thing. I'm 10+ years younger than the guy, and most men find me really attractive. I'm pretty successful, but I would be truly wealthy if I had a dime for everybody who told me he was intimidated by me at first. I like this guy so much I can't stop thinking about him, but I'm not sure whether he's not getting the message, or if he's not interested. I'm worried that he likes me but assumes I wouldn't be interested in him. He is single as the day is long, but he's manically busy bc he is expanding his business at the moment. He never goes out lately, so I haven't even been able to bump into him at parties.

I'm afraid of coming on too strong, bc I don't want him to freak out... what on earth do I have to do to get this man to open up to me - or at least blow me off so obviously that I get the hint? I can't exactly give him a lap dance in church.

[basilandthyme]

ItsKick, some of us girls simply are forward and can be intimidating. I am too - and there's no sense in trying to change who we are or act as something different because the truth will come out eventually. We just need the type of men who are OK with who we are.

Frankly, I'd ask him out. If you scare him, then he's not the man for you. And you'll find out quickly about his level of interest.

[Wakeup]

How about inviting him over for Sunday Dinner, or lunch at a restaurant after Church, perhaps? Start out by letting him know you're interested. If he turns you down and doesn't make an alternative time/date/venue then forget about him. A turn down should be the "blow off" you're looking for to be able to close off your crush/interest.