Sex in my relationship

[azza84]

Hi, need some advice!

After my girlfriend said at the start that she was a very sexual person, it very quickly changed and is now at a point where he has point blank said that sex doesn't bother her and she would happily go without. Obviously you can imagine how this makes me feel. To make it worse I have been the one in previous relationships to go off the book when it comes to sex, but with this one it's different, I literally could make love to her every day. I tell her how much I love her, how sexy I find her etc but it just doesn't work.

When we do do it I am always the one to initiate, and even then I can tell she's not into it as he barely even gets wet. And she just lays there and blatently tells me to cum quickly.

What I find hard is that she use to have all sorts of sex toys with her ex, and she still has some of them. I get the impression it was him that wanted them not her. I've asked to use them in our sex life etc but she's just not interested. She even said to me at the weekend that she doesn't mind if I satisfy myself in the shower or something if it helps me take the pressure off. I've tried to tell her how much it affects me but she just doesn't get it! Why is this and what can I do??!

[azza84]

I even said to her that if she's not in the mood for full sex we could just please each other with foreplay, she just said that it's juvenile and if she doesn't feel like sex then she isn't going to feel like foreplay!

I just don't know what I am supposed to do

[Wakeup]

Why is this and what can I do??!

She's frigid and/or isn't into you. There is nothing you can do but if she's willing, you could go to sex therapy together but you're not even married so what you should do (but probably won't) is break up with her and find someone who, like you, likes to have sex and lots of it.

You said she liked sex in the beginning but that quickly changed. Well she never liked sex and simply was doing it because she knew you would expect it. It's called "baiting and switching."

It will only get worse as your relationship gets longer so don't settle... you'll end up miserable or both miserable and cheating on her.

[basilandthyme]

What Wakeup said.

I don't know if your girlfriend lied at the beginning about loving sex - or if she's simply not into you. But either way, you have a big problem which isn't going to go away.

How long have you been together? Did she ever enjoy sex with you and if so, how long did that period last? Is she confused about why she feels as she does....or does she think this is normal?

Lastly, your girlfriend is right when she says that if she doesn't feel like sex then she's not going to feel like foreplay. Nothing worse than someone fiddling around down there when you're not into it.

[SueNami]

She may also be wanting more in bed and not sure how to communicate it, so she just shuts you out. ... just saying...