Hello everyone,
I was married to my high school sweetheart, who I had been with for 13 years. She was the only women I was ever intimate with. I got to a point where I drove myself crazy thinking that I was missing something and I just really wanted to experience being intimate with someone else. I just lost that passion and became preoccupied with what I was missing and our relationship just went downhill... solely because of my issues and desires to be with another woman. I then met another woman and started falling in love with her and started fantasizing about her. I then left my wife for her. I was faithful for our entire marriage up until that point and never thought I would ever be capable of falling for anyone else or hurting my ex. Needless to say I have tremendous guilt that I live with every day... and I realize I deserve every bit of it. We never really had closure and we always got along great... We only got a divorce because of my selfish ways. But now I've been with my current girlfriend for 3 years. I love her and I'm attracted to her. I like being around her. Everything could be great... but now I'm starting to miss my ex-wife, who I still love, and it's holding my current relationship back. I legitimately love both women. My current girlfriend knows I'm struggling with this as well. I try to be as honest as possible. My ex wife never moved on and she wants me back. Sometimes I feel like I know I want to go back, but other times I feel like I do not. I feel like I couldn't live without either woman. This dilemma has taken over my life. I feel like I'm in a hopeless situation where I can't chose which one to hurt, which one to lose, which one to be with. It's worth noting that I have two kids with my ex-wife, and I have them 50% of the time. I miss having them 100% of the time. I have to see my ex a few times a week exchanging the kids. I'm desperate for some guidance, advice, tips, new perspective, etc. Thank you to any and everyone who may respond.