Relationship or Not??

[WindyCitySoul]

I started a new job about 3 months ago and with that came new friendships/relationships. I work for a company that has numerous local offices and various nationwide offices. So associating with other employees at different locations is the norm. There is when I met "Mike". He works at a different location but we touch base for business purposes and we started flirting with each other over the phone. I have to admit it was flattering. Little by little we got to know each other even though it was only thru a call. Then we decided to exchange phone numbers and started to talk occasionally never on a regular. Same came to texting.. We soon exchanged pics and we both liked what we saw. So a few weekends ago we decided to finally meet for dinner and drinks. The minute I saw him I was attracted to him. Dinner was great and it was that time of the night to say goodbye. He leaned in and kissed me and he confirmed he found me attractive as well.

As I stated before,we never talked or texted on a regular. And after that night I wanted that to change but I didn't want to seem clingy or separate. So I played it cool. A few nights ago we decided to FaceTime and we opened Pandora's box. That FaceTime conversation led to just exposing ourselves to each other naked. With this being said the intensity between us got deeper. We decided to hang out last night and we discovered we were very comfortable with each other. Soon one thing led to another and we had sex. After sex we talked and it was time for him to walk me to my car. The goodbye was awkward... He leaned in and kissed me on the lips and hugged me goodbye but it felt different.

Haven't heard from him since last night but I don't want to be that clingy and crazy girl that feels used. I have the approach that both of us are two consenting adults and we decided to have sex. But I don't know what to do now. I would like to continue to see him but if not I don't want it to be awkward at work even thou we don't work in the same office.

What do I do now?? Text/call him?? When?? How long do I wait? Do I just tell him we should stay friends?? Please help

WindyCitySoul

[basilandthyme]

Contact him and tell him how much you enjoyed the evening. Then tell him you look forward to having dinner with him again

[loganbawcom]

Just talk with him again and expressed your feeling.

[WindyCitySoul]

So I reached out and asked if everything was ok between us and he said yes. Unfortunately I still don't know where this leaves us. I sent another text as king what he thought about that night. Haven't heard from him yet. How long do I wait?

[basilandthyme]

Asking if everything was Ok was kind of a bad move. It makes it look like you're insecure and worried. To be honest, I'm not sure how to move forward from that comment.

Sending out a positive vibe of "that was great, hope we can do it again sometime" is far more attractive - and flirty.

[WindyCitySoul]

I think him not answering back demonstrates his immaturity. I'm over it and have learned a very valuable lesson, never ever date anyone you work with. I'm ok with everything but don't like the awkwardness this has caused. To me it is what it is and I'm over it. But I will say that I have no desire to hang out again let alone have any other kind of relationship other than professional. I have to admit I'm disappointed!

[vilhelmcarlberg]

Just ask him for the second time.

[Wakeup]

I'm over it and have learned a very valuable lesson, never ever date anyone you work with.

THAT's the lesson you learned? Lolzzz.

You mean you didn't learn to wait to get to know someone face to face before you expose your naked body to them only to screw them the next time he graced you with his company?

If you're going to have the "we're two consenting adults" mentality then you're going to have to accept that not every screw is going to lead to another. You have a sense of entitlement about you. You think because you did him that now he owes you something. Whether that something you expect is another go at each other or a relationship really doesn't matter. Your expectations are what are making you feel used when neither of you were "used" but volunteered for the dance.

I have to admit I'm disappointed

Yes that's clear and it's also why your false bravado is just that... false bravado. When you have no expectations then you don't get disappointed. When you do men you haven't gotten to know face-to-face doing date like activities with then you should have zero expectations past the moment.

That's what you should have learned.

- - - Updated - - -

I think him not answering back demonstrates his immaturity

I think you not asking him to meet up again and instead you were being passive aggressive with your "is everything alright" demonstrates yours.

... Sorry, but there it is.

BTW: Your thread title "Relationship or Not?" Shows how you expect sex to lead to more then what you got. He promised you nothing and he didn't show you in the least that he valued you. Flirting/cam sex/sexting/sex is not a show of value if that's all you've ever had with him.

[WindyCitySoul]

I at no point feel used nor do I feel uncomfortable about what I have done. I am well aware that some screws will not lead to another and am perfectly ok with that. His lack of maturity is identified by how he has made the situation awkward. When I stated I was disappointed... It was in the fact that he has chosen not to communicate considering we must still must maintain a professional relationship.

[basilandthyme]

I at no point feel used nor do I feel uncomfortable about what I have done. I am well aware that some screws will not lead to another and am perfectly ok with that. His lack of maturity is identified by how he has made the situation awkward. When I stated I was disappointed... It was in the fact that he has chosen not to communicate considering we must still must maintain a professional relationship.

Sorry hon, you're the one who's immature. I said before that your text of "is everything OK between us" was a really bad move and I stand by that. I honestly have no idea why you would have sent that.

If you were not uncomfortable, why are you calling him immature and blaming him for making the situation awkward? You're just as responsible for this as he is.

[Wakeup]

I at no point feel used nor do I feel uncomfortable about what I have done. I am well aware that some screws will not lead to another and am perfectly ok with that. His lack of maturity is identified by how he has made the situation awkward. When I stated I was disappointed... It was in the fact that he has chosen not to communicate considering we must still must maintain a professional relationship.

You can fool you but you can't fool us. If you were not feeling "uncomfortable about what you have done" then you'd not feel awkward and you'd not have come here to try and make him appear like some villain. You made it obviously clear that you were prime to do him so he took the opportunity and neither of you owe the other anything other then being civil and professional to one another should you have to do business together again. Its only awkward because you expected something further to transpire and now that it hasn't, now that he's not responding to your passive aggressive texting, you feel awkward. I suspect that when you asked "is everything alright" he felt awkward when he realized that you acted the part but are unable to be mature in the afterward.

You'll be fine. Just drop any expectations... Certainly don't expect anything other then sex from this guy... he's not going to be up for small talk or anything other then "thanks" afterwards by the looks of things.