Should I tell him how I feel?

[maddiewilson]

I've been friends with this guy I met at college for about a year now. He's a graduate student, 29, and I'm a 19 year old undergrad. He's incredibly caring and kind. We see each other at the gym several days a week, which was where we met. About a month ago, we made plans to hang out, and ended up hooking up, just making out, touching, etc. He continued to text me and talk to me after this, but did not make plans to see me again.

So I decided to take the initiative, and asked if he wanted to hang out again. He said yes, and we ended up having sex. That was my first time, and he was aware of it. After it happened, he would text me and ask how I'm doing and stuff but still would not try to see me again, except for at the gym.

So a week later I asked if he wanted to have dinner, and that I would bring a type of food that he really likes. I wanted to do this because both times we hooked up, I would sleep over and he would make me breakfast, so I wanted to return the favor. On the night we were supposed to have dinner, I texted him asking what time, and he replied with, "Thanks so much for thinking of me and the food, you can drop by my place to drop it off, but I won't be able to hang out because I'm really busy with writing" That really shocked and hurt me, because I felt so unimportant to him. I get he's busy, but asking me to bring him food without him wanting to spend time with me was so hurtful. What should I do? Should I ask him how he feels about me?

[basilandthyme]

bahaha. Sorry, not laughing at you - laughing at how self centered this guy is. We hear a lot of good stuff here, but that is a classic bad move.

Be glad you've seen this now and not after you'd been hanging around with him for ages. No, don't bother telling him how you feel - he's probably too self centred to care much anyway. If you see him in the gym, greet him as you would any other random person there but don't make any more plans to hang out with him. Walk away with all the dignity you can muster.

[mariawalker]

Always remember, give importance to them only who gives importance to you. Don't take any initiative, if he wants to talk to you he will talk.

[Wakeup]

Did you expect that having sex with him would garner you a relationship with him as well?

Please tell us you insisted on him wearing a rubber!